Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Yay, another Super Pig story. This was a total delight to read, Rox. I love that the mouse was a special elf come to bring the animals all the foods they love for a special feast. Great imagery putting me into the thick of the story. Good lessons, too, on how easy it can be to make a person's day by getting them to smile. Another super chapter, Rox! Too bad you didn't enter this in the Christmas story contest.

Hugs, Bev

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

I guess I didn't see the contest. I have to pay more attention to those things. Thanks so much, the story was so fun to write and my friend Evelyn was so thrilled, she cried when I sent her the story. Such a small thing but meant the world to her. Such a sweetheart. I hope you have a Wonderful Christmas. Rox

Comment from jmdg1954

Exceptional

I've missed these Super Pig stories. In my opinion, you've certainly made up for the absence. This is s great Christmas story. Good story line with of course a cheerful ending. Simple and sweet. Nicely done, Roxanna. John

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks so much John. Merry Christmas. Rox

Comment from donaldww

Good

Hi Roxanna,

This Christmas story appears to be written for children. I found the setting to be the strong part of the piece, a barn full of animals trapped by a snowstorm in a barn. Lots of potential for an interesting plot.

But I also found it impossible to identify a main character, and couldn't find a conflict or central question that main character needed to solve. The first character, Pinky Pig, might have been a candidate. But as soon as he/she was introduced, the conversation hopped from one pair of animals to the next.

Cheers,
DW



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 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014

Of course it "hopped" from one animal to another, it was about a little frog. =] This is an ongoing story line, I write childrens books and Super Pig is the main character, though she takes a bit of a backseat this time to Evelyn Elf Mouse and Lilybell. Maybe you have to know the story better to see how it all works together. But I will have another look at it to see if I can improve it. I am always wanting to improve and have the best stories I can. Thanks so much Donald for being honest with me. I think I have been doing this so long I don't always get the honest feedback.

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

This is a very cute story full of Christmas cheer and Magic to make the holiday bright and happy for all the creatures hiding from the storm. Super Pig was very happy to help Evelyn make
Santa's magical Christmas with the tree and food and the Snowflake Candy. LOL :<) Nancy

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thanks so much Nancy. My friend Evelyn really does make the snowflake candy and it is wonderful! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas. Rox

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What a lovely Christmas story with lovely names like lillybell amd Evelyn elf mouse. What a fascinating story, they had a great Christmas. This story was well described and told, good characterisation, well designed and composed, nice and light unhindered by complexity, nice easy reading, well done, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thank you so much Roy. Would you believe Lilybell really is my niece's name! We were so hoping her parent would change their mind. Lilybell, Justus and Izabella. People like different names these days. I think they each have a meaning the parents liked. They are darling kids, so much fun. Hope you have a Great Christmas. Rox

reply by royowen on 07-Dec-2014

Well, truth is stranger than fiction, I really like those names, my girls are Rebecca and Catherine, we didn't go there, thanks to my wife, but I do like those, well done, Roy.

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

What a lovely Christmas story. Quite mouth-watering, in fact! I like the easy flow of your dialogue and the magical quality of the storyline. Beautiful. There's even a hint of loaves and fishes in it, but far more appetising!

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 Comment Written 06-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014

Thank you so much. Was so fun to write and my friend Evelyn cried when she saw I put her in a story. I hope that means she like it. Merry Christmas. Rox