Reap What You Sow
A legend is born.54 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
A tale of the hunt is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. This is error free with good imagery.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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A tale of the hunt is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. This is error free with good imagery.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Smooth flow. I like it. Thank you!
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You're welcome. Charlie
Comment from bhogg
Very well done. I did not pick up the single syllable requirement until the very end. It read a bit staccato at times, but I thought that was the theme more than the single syllable. Your post did not appear forced at all. Best of luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Very well done. I did not pick up the single syllable requirement until the very end. It read a bit staccato at times, but I thought that was the theme more than the single syllable. Your post did not appear forced at all. Best of luck in your contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thanks tremendously. your kind words and review are much appreciated.
Comment from drivenbackward
Gripping tale, unknown writer. You had me engaged the whole way -- not easy considering I put down most published fiction books. Great flash fiction. A few notes to consider:
I sit, a lone form in the dark; barred from my home by a vast pool of shit and piss -- Comma would work better than semi-colon here.
The night will end soon, I can tell by the burn of my eyes and the slow drain of strength from my small frame -- Opposite applies here.
and left to bleed in the dank, wet, stench, of this cave of man -- Delete comma after 'stench'
I must be a sight - small framed with pale -- Need a dash here, not a hyphen.
'Till now I have hurt naught of you.Why must your kind chase me? -- Check spacing after period.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Gripping tale, unknown writer. You had me engaged the whole way -- not easy considering I put down most published fiction books. Great flash fiction. A few notes to consider:
I sit, a lone form in the dark; barred from my home by a vast pool of shit and piss -- Comma would work better than semi-colon here.
The night will end soon, I can tell by the burn of my eyes and the slow drain of strength from my small frame -- Opposite applies here.
and left to bleed in the dank, wet, stench, of this cave of man -- Delete comma after 'stench'
I must be a sight - small framed with pale -- Need a dash here, not a hyphen.
'Till now I have hurt naught of you.Why must your kind chase me? -- Check spacing after period.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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DB,
Thans for those edits. I fixed em. I thought thi one was error free, but alas twas not. Thanks for the excelent review.
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I can relate. :)
Comment from LIJ Red
One syllable. And you did great up until the last line, which sounds a bit manipulated. Might even need a S on the fang. Oh, well, excellent post even so.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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One syllable. And you did great up until the last line, which sounds a bit manipulated. Might even need a S on the fang. Oh, well, excellent post even so.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the excellent review. it is much appreciated.
Comment from Drew Delaney
Well written. I can't imagine not writing without more than a single syllable. And yet you did it and it worked very well. The picture fits your story very well. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Well written. I can't imagine not writing without more than a single syllable. And yet you did it and it worked very well. The picture fits your story very well. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Thanks Drew. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Emily George
Scary stuff well written. So they made the boy beast what he now is, interesting plot. You feel for him then he turns and you wonder how evil he might be
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Scary stuff well written. So they made the boy beast what he now is, interesting plot. You feel for him then he turns and you wonder how evil he might be
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Yup. You never know where your action will lead. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from amahra
Oh wow, before I knew this was poetry, I was going to praise you for this prose poem. It read so beautifully that I didn't know it was one syllable. And I'm not going back to count. I loved this challenge; your entry reads beautifully.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Oh wow, before I knew this was poetry, I was going to praise you for this prose poem. It read so beautifully that I didn't know it was one syllable. And I'm not going back to count. I loved this challenge; your entry reads beautifully.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Well thank you very much. It is kindly appreciated.
Comment from Muffins
A heart pounding plot gallops along at a great clip without the need for a background spring board.
The suspense of who is chasing who and what for isn't reined in until the end. Along the way the reader's mind is unwind trying to pick up clues to what is going on, yet breathless at the horror that's unfolding. This story keeps the reader completely absorbed until the last period of the story.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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A heart pounding plot gallops along at a great clip without the need for a background spring board.
The suspense of who is chasing who and what for isn't reined in until the end. Along the way the reader's mind is unwind trying to pick up clues to what is going on, yet breathless at the horror that's unfolding. This story keeps the reader completely absorbed until the last period of the story.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Wow, muffins. Thanks for the compliments and the excellent review.
Comment from Ekim777
This is a piece of unrelieved destruction but is it feasible? If we look unflinching into ourselves we might realize the power of our desire to destroy but can we perform such a task. No, because everything is transformed. I think our writer inadvertently acknowledge this. "Verily, I say unto thee. Lest an ear of corn fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." The final lines are unconvincing. Can we ever slake our lust? -EKim777
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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This is a piece of unrelieved destruction but is it feasible? If we look unflinching into ourselves we might realize the power of our desire to destroy but can we perform such a task. No, because everything is transformed. I think our writer inadvertently acknowledge this. "Verily, I say unto thee. Lest an ear of corn fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." The final lines are unconvincing. Can we ever slake our lust? -EKim777
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the excellent review and the metaphysical question.
Comment from mjac777
This was amazingly well written given the confines of the contest.
No spags that I could see. You had me from the start until the end. A good vampire tale where hunter and hunted are not blameless.
This will probably win! You have my vote.
Good luck -
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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This was amazingly well written given the confines of the contest.
No spags that I could see. You had me from the start until the end. A good vampire tale where hunter and hunted are not blameless.
This will probably win! You have my vote.
Good luck -
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
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Wow. Thank you very much. Your review and compliments are much appreciated.