Comment from daeneam

Excellent

I remembered telling my husband to be careful in dealing with strangers, the first time he traveled in Cebu, for he might meet a sorcerer. Visayas island, particularly, Siquijor is known for such type of witchcraft.

When this "mambabarang" decided to employ his dark art, insects will come out of the victim's body like that of the Bogeyman.

But, with or without this in mind, we should always treat others nicely. Always remember the Golden Rule. c", Mae

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

You are absolutely right, Mae. I thank you for your kind comments and review, my friend. Much obliged.

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

Very much enjoyed this...love gypsy curses - you never know what will happen.

I love: portmanteau

Only nit is should be a period vs comma after: I am not insane, (.)

Terrific story. AT=/

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thank you, Jean, and if that is my only mistake in the entire story, then I must surely be getting better at editing, LOL. Of course, many of the fine, talented people here have pointed out a few more beforehand, so I can't take all the credit. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the tale, and I sincerely appreciate the review!

Comment from GeorgieBoy

Exceptional

I was so intrigued by your tale that I was unable to stop and pick up any errors. The characters are wonderfully descriptive and charming.

The only thing I have a problem with is the statement that the nurses were 'jovial' It just seems a bit too jolly for me, perhaps another word to describe?

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thank you very much for your great feedback and exceptional rating. The word jovial was only as the character perceived his nurses to be, GeorgieBoy. Quite often when we're faced with a particularly trying situation, we seem to think everyone around us is happy but ourselves. They may not have been "jovial" at all, just extremely kind. However, that's how Mr. Rassmussen sees them to be, and it sickens him because of the situation he's placed himself in.

I hope that explains in some small way my reasoning for the usage of the word.

And again, I so appreciate the wonderful review!

Comment from Raphael Montonaro

Excellent

Sometimes I think I need an exorcism! Spirits, dreams apparitions, spooks!, Oh the horror! Very well written to this unusual story. Bravo!

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Raphael, I really appreciate your enthusiastic review, my friend! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story, and thanks you for your most generous rating.

Comment from GeraldS

Excellent

This story is weird, no offense intended. It is well-written, but for this reader, a bit disjointed as it progressed from section to section. Overall, nicely presented and, I think, a strong entry for this contest. Good luck in the voting!

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks, Gerald. It's just a guy recounting his story about why he chose the path in life he did, written in a journalistic style. Not all too weird. I've written much weirder, LOL! You must not write in a journal, huh?

Comment from Muffins

Excellent

This story is intelligently told and beautifully written. The reader comes to slowly care about the narrator's condition and outcome.
An entertaining classic morality piece that did not preach and had a satisfying ending.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks, Muffins, and it was very difficult for me to write a horror tale which had no swearing, sex, massive carnage and included a moral message at the end, just for good measure. I hope I have managed to pull it off adequately. I guess we will see tomorrow when they voting is all said and done.

Thanks again for you kind comments and review.

reply by Muffins on 22-Jul-2014

Yes, you pulled it off.

Comment from Cin

Excellent

mmm - the curse of a gypsy is well renowned - I found your story very enjoyable and highly engaging from start to finish - I particularly loved the style of writing as I feel it gave a 'true' impression of someone telling a tale in the 1800s. Good luck in the competition. :-)

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks very much, Cin, and I'm particularly glad you pointed out, as well as enjoyed, the style in which this story was written. Thta is exactly the feeling I wanted readers to come away with, as if they'd just heard one man's story of how he came to choose the path in his life that he did.

As for the contest, by the look of things, I will need all of the luck that I can get, my friend.

Thanks again for an excellent review.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Great presentation, on most mysterious and horrific one!

Your author notes always enhance the reading experience.

Hope you win!

Sonali


began to em(a)nate from my breast pocket.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks, Reach, I'm very happy that you liked this one It's harder for me than I thought it would be to write a horror story with absolutely no swearing, or sex, or blood and guts, and include a moral message at the end for good measure. But, it did my best.

Thanks for catching that typo for me as well. Boy, if I had a nickle...

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the story. It is a good one. It remains you to be good to each other. You do not know what effect your thoughtless actions can cause. It does not need to be a curse. Your thoughtless actions just get worse until you cause damage that can not be corrected. Great work. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks, Nellie. I appreciate that.

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

mY HEART IS BARELY BEATING AFTER THIS ONE. FANTASTIC! GREAT PICTURES. A PROFESSIONAL LOOKING READ. EVERYTHING IS SHIPSHAPE. THIS IS SPELLBINDING... COU NT YOUR DOUBLOON, DO LOCO

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

I don't know about counting my doubloons, Do Loco. But I am very glad that you enjoyed the story, and I sure do appreciate your enthusiastic reply!

reply by ProjectBluebook on 21-Jul-2014

ANYTIME--SPOOKY. SHALOM