Cardinal's Song
Contest entry - Nonet20 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
A beautifully written and wonderfully composed nonet, Mystery Poet. Your picture of a cardinal is stunning, and as the cardinal is the state bird of Ohio, I happen to see them quite often. I'm very grateful for that. Their song is sweet, and the males are so brilliantly colored.
Again, great work, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
  |
A beautifully written and wonderfully composed nonet, Mystery Poet. Your picture of a cardinal is stunning, and as the cardinal is the state bird of Ohio, I happen to see them quite often. I'm very grateful for that. Their song is sweet, and the males are so brilliantly colored.
Again, great work, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
-
Thank you!
Comment from JM
I like your very nice nonet. It flows easily and I like your "s" alliteration: "Serenely sitting neath shade..." I also enjoyed the "close up" picture of this beautiful bird. Very happy tone.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
|
I like your very nice nonet. It flows easily and I like your "s" alliteration: "Serenely sitting neath shade..." I also enjoyed the "close up" picture of this beautiful bird. Very happy tone.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
-
Thank you!
Comment from prefabmouse
Cardinals are my favorite bird. I actually have many glass ones sitting around my house so this poem really caught my attention.
Great work following the contest rules for the format too. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
|
Cardinals are my favorite bird. I actually have many glass ones sitting around my house so this poem really caught my attention.
Great work following the contest rules for the format too. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
-
Thank you!
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
I like your use of optional rhyming
nice alliteration in serenely sitting
lovely detail with strong sensory appeal
and a thoughtful, serene mood
Brooke
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
|
Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
I like your use of optional rhyming
nice alliteration in serenely sitting
lovely detail with strong sensory appeal
and a thoughtful, serene mood
Brooke
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2014
-
Thank you!
Comment from Pyrrho
Sense in line three is lacking, and your last line contains a glaring grammatical error.
Such deviations from the norm subtract too much of your reader's pleasure (at least this reader) to assess it as a five-star effort. Your idea and and your intent are delightful, however.
BTW: forced forms like this engender sub-standard poetry. Why not just break the 'form' requirements and enforce 'standard grammatical' requirements and have your last line read, "Me"? It would be better poetry and the @#!## with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
 |
Sense in line three is lacking, and your last line contains a glaring grammatical error.
Such deviations from the norm subtract too much of your reader's pleasure (at least this reader) to assess it as a five-star effort. Your idea and and your intent are delightful, however.
BTW: forced forms like this engender sub-standard poetry. Why not just break the 'form' requirements and enforce 'standard grammatical' requirements and have your last line read, "Me"? It would be better poetry and the @#!## with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thanks. You completely miss the intent with the intentional selection of I instead of me, but I completely understand than sentiments as some will always wish to impose the grammatical rules of prose on the expressive and metaphorical art of poetry. I am very appreciative of your kind feedback nonetheless.
-
normally I would let go of this one and agree not to agree, but I must ask: What possible intent could you have other than to have one letter at your ending. And (I assume you are making a specific rather than generic claim)what is metaphorical about 'I' vis-a-vis 'me'.
-
Third eye as in meditation and chakra clearing which is also referred to as the "sacred I" going back to Hermes Trismegistus father of alchemy. I hope that helps a little as to why the I .. could have made it eye but that would have really thrown you.
-
once you get to alchemy you leave me far behind (or ahead) because to me, alchemy is organized nonsense. thaks for responding.
Comment from mermaids
I have a yard full of cardinals and your nonet form describes exactly how I feel when they sing. Your words capture the good feeling from listening to these beautiful birds. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
 |
I have a yard full of cardinals and your nonet form describes exactly how I feel when they sing. Your words capture the good feeling from listening to these beautiful birds. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thank you - HUGE smiles!
Comment from Patti R.
A stunning close-up of a cardinal with his cracked beak! Your nonet is very good with the syllable count per line being right on. I would eliminate the "equals" sign as when reading the poem I would say equals aloud, adding syllables to the line, you could replace it with a hyphen or even a comma. Then your final line of "I" is grammatically awkward, I would use "me".
Good luck in this contest.
Patti
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
|
A stunning close-up of a cardinal with his cracked beak! Your nonet is very good with the syllable count per line being right on. I would eliminate the "equals" sign as when reading the poem I would say equals aloud, adding syllables to the line, you could replace it with a hyphen or even a comma. Then your final line of "I" is grammatically awkward, I would use "me".
Good luck in this contest.
Patti
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thank you. Your kind support is very much appreciated.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Well I like your nonet - it is a happy poem:) The judges though may not like the =. when I read it I read it as equals which is two syllables and throws your count off.
Teresa
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
|
Well I like your nonet - it is a happy poem:) The judges though may not like the =. when I read it I read it as equals which is two syllables and throws your count off.
Teresa
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thank you. Your kind support is very much appreciated.
Comment from Ben Colder
This should get it done, poet. Beautiful photo. I love watching them at my bird feeders. They like the black sunflower seeds Well done. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
|
This should get it done, poet. Beautiful photo. I love watching them at my bird feeders. They like the black sunflower seeds Well done. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thank you. Your kind support is very much appreciated.
Comment from Eric1
A perfect and wonderful Nonet for this competition, it has great imagery it flows so well from start to finish and the artwork takes it even higher, good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
|
A perfect and wonderful Nonet for this competition, it has great imagery it flows so well from start to finish and the artwork takes it even higher, good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
-
Thank you. Your kind support is very much appreciated.
-
You are so welcome