Let's Go Camping
The Hedgerow friends are bored.29 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, Sandra, you did an excellent job writing this story about the camping trip and all the fun that happened along the way. I enjoyed reading it..
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2014
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this is very well written, Sandra, you did an excellent job writing this story about the camping trip and all the fun that happened along the way. I enjoyed reading it..
Comment Written 03-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Sweetwoodjax. :) Sandra
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow... What a great children's tale. They all get bored from time to time and that is when they get into mischief. Good thing for Daddy Mouse. He was able to keep them occupied and had a good time of it as well.
Sandra, very nicely composed. John
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Wow... What a great children's tale. They all get bored from time to time and that is when they get into mischief. Good thing for Daddy Mouse. He was able to keep them occupied and had a good time of it as well.
Sandra, very nicely composed. John
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, John, for another wonderful review. I am really pleased you liked this one. I tend to use my childhood experiences for my stories, that gives you an idea of what I was like, a real tomboy! :) Sandra xsx
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Sandra, what a great story you have told. Funny how a simple suggestion from Daddy Mouse cured those boredom blues.
The children are so excited. They can't wait to get to the campsite. With the help of Daddy Mouse, they get the tent set up and now are ready to have fun swimming.
God Sandra, you have such a great talent for composing these children's stories. I truly enjoy reading them as they make me feel whimsical.
Take care and stay safe my friend. Love you lots,,,,,,,,Jim xxx
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Sandra, what a great story you have told. Funny how a simple suggestion from Daddy Mouse cured those boredom blues.
The children are so excited. They can't wait to get to the campsite. With the help of Daddy Mouse, they get the tent set up and now are ready to have fun swimming.
God Sandra, you have such a great talent for composing these children's stories. I truly enjoy reading them as they make me feel whimsical.
Take care and stay safe my friend. Love you lots,,,,,,,,Jim xxx
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Hi Jim! Lovely to see you again, how are you? Thank you so much for reading my children's story, and for the wonderful review. On a different note, did I tell you about Nancy being rushed into hospital with pneumonia and a blockage to the heart? I haven't heard anymore from her family and I am getting really worried. That is the trouble with living so far away from my FS friends, I can't be there for any of you when you need help and support most. You take care, my friend, don't want anymore bad news this year! Love you too. :) Sandra xsx
Comment from Jay Squires
A cute story. I'm not too experienced with children's literature. I'm wondering though about the length of this piece. Would it be difficult keeping a child's attention to its duration? The characters are all lovely; Daddy Mouse is patient and loving. The camping trip was exciting (on a children's level) with the swimming and swinging. It was all good! And, as far as I can see, SPAG-free!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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A cute story. I'm not too experienced with children's literature. I'm wondering though about the length of this piece. Would it be difficult keeping a child's attention to its duration? The characters are all lovely; Daddy Mouse is patient and loving. The camping trip was exciting (on a children's level) with the swimming and swinging. It was all good! And, as far as I can see, SPAG-free!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Jay, for your lovely review. When this book comes out, it will be fully illustrated and put into little chapters. This is will be the 4th book in the Hedgerow Capers series, and they are now going audio, which is really exciting. My children's books, all started on FanStory, 3 years ago, and it has been a roller coaster ride since then. I am really pleased you enjoyed this one. Hopefully the kiddies will to! :) Sandra. xsx
Comment from Writingfundimension
Such a delight to come across this wonderful children's tale. I loved the characters' adventures! I played eye-spy with my nieces and nephew ad nauseum, so I especially enjoyed that section. :) Well done!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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Such a delight to come across this wonderful children's tale. I loved the characters' adventures! I played eye-spy with my nieces and nephew ad nauseum, so I especially enjoyed that section. :) Well done!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014
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I love reading reviews like yours, so many times I hear of children sitting glued to there games machine, whatever they're called. We need to keep this little games alive, or they will disappear. Thank you so very much for your wonderful comments!:) xsx Sandra.
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You're very welcome, Sandra. I completely agree with you! :)
Comment from Just Pete
I really enjoyed reading this (it appealed to the child in me). Camping has always been "my thing" and your story brought back some great memories. I was too engrossed in reading it to look for errors, but even so, I don't think there were any. A great story well told by a very skillful wrieter. Peter
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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I really enjoyed reading this (it appealed to the child in me). Camping has always been "my thing" and your story brought back some great memories. I was too engrossed in reading it to look for errors, but even so, I don't think there were any. A great story well told by a very skillful wrieter. Peter
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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My dear friend, thank you so very much for your wonderful review and for the 6 stars. You are so very kind. I used to go camping with my family, and it was such fun. I was such a tomboy when I was a young girl, hated dressing up, just wanted to climb trees and worry my mother sick. Bless her. I am so pleased you enjoyed my story. :) Sandra xsx
Comment from l.raven
HI Sandra, what a wonderful story ...even a mouse can get bored...LOL...the kids are all having a wonderful time...I love all the characters in the story...my grandson will love this...a wonderful story told...totally holds your attention...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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HI Sandra, what a wonderful story ...even a mouse can get bored...LOL...the kids are all having a wonderful time...I love all the characters in the story...my grandson will love this...a wonderful story told...totally holds your attention...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Hi Linda, how are you? Thank you for your lovely review, I do hope your grandson enjoys it, I have to test it on mine, and they are really nit pickers. If they see something wrong, they are sure to tell me! lol. Love them to bits. Thank you again, my friend. xsx Sandra
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Hi Sandra, I know what you are saying...they truly can be picky...but I know they will love this one...have to go get some lunch...need a break...Luff
Comment from missjosi
Well this is a lovely tale that Im sure young children will adore. The illustration goes great with the story! I particularly love old Cyril the Squirrel. The language is nice and simple for young children. Great work and Warm wishes :))
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Well this is a lovely tale that Im sure young children will adore. The illustration goes great with the story! I particularly love old Cyril the Squirrel. The language is nice and simple for young children. Great work and Warm wishes :))
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Cyril the Squirrel is my favourite too. He is the steadying one of the group, yet has a good sense of fun too. Reggie is the coward, bless him. Rats don't have a good name, so my Reggie the Rat is a bit of a softie. I am really pleased you like my characters, thank you so much for your lovely review. xsx Sandra.
Comment from adewpearl
Nor are we...are we, Daddy - add comma for direct address
Milly the Mole and Vicky the Vole, weren't too sure - drop the comma
They decided to watch the boys do it first, because - drop the comma
Excellent dialogue throughout to convey first the children's boredom and then their excitement
Excellent detail - Daddy is quite resourceful in providing a good time
Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Nor are we...are we, Daddy - add comma for direct address
Milly the Mole and Vicky the Vole, weren't too sure - drop the comma
They decided to watch the boys do it first, because - drop the comma
Excellent dialogue throughout to convey first the children's boredom and then their excitement
Excellent detail - Daddy is quite resourceful in providing a good time
Brooke
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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I am really glad you enjoyed it, Brooke, I do draw on the fun I had when I was a child for my stories. I was a real tomboy, but what fun I had being one! Thank you for pointing out those comma errors. I really must go over my lessons I had with you. :( I will go and sort those out straight away, thank you, Brooke. :)Sandra.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Sandra,
This is a delightful story which I think the kiddies would enjoy reading or have it read to them. You did a good job producing visuals which will work well in a picture book format.
By way of a nit (lol) I just want to point out that you need to insert more paragraph spacing. Rule of thumb: When you start a new quote, it's a new paragraph. When writing for adults, this rule doesn't have to be followed religiously.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Hi Sandra,
This is a delightful story which I think the kiddies would enjoy reading or have it read to them. You did a good job producing visuals which will work well in a picture book format.
By way of a nit (lol) I just want to point out that you need to insert more paragraph spacing. Rule of thumb: When you start a new quote, it's a new paragraph. When writing for adults, this rule doesn't have to be followed religiously.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Lou. I must remember that one! I tell you, my grammar really is awful. Must start sorting that out. I am really pleased you enjoyed it. xsx Sandra