Comment from in777wr#

Excellent

This was a creative approach to this writing prompt. You tell this story about death well. The story paints a good picture of one going into eternity. The drifting in and out added more reality to this story. Very captivating. Nice job.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks, I appreciate that. I frequently do that "thinking outside the box" thing in these prompts. And while I rarely do well in the final voting, I always have fun at least trying.

Comment from G.B. Smith

Exceptional

Dear author
I was drawn to the beautiful artwork, and then as the story unfolded, I saw how lovely it was written. I rarely give a 6th star, but I had to with this one. You got my vote
Bear

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Dear Bear,
I'm so honored that a writer of your caliber felt this strongly about something I'd written. I've followed your work as well over the short time I have been on FanStory, and it's exemplary.

Thanks for the vote, those wonderful six stars, and, most importantly, for allowing me the opportunity to entertain you. I sincerely appreciate it.

reply by G.B. Smith on 12-Mar-2014

:)

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014

I appreciate your vote, Bear. it was one of three that I received.

Thanks again for supporting what I do, my friend.

Comment from Cajungirl

Excellent

What an interesting and very different take on the writing prompt. I found the story to be very good and well-written. best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks very much, Cajungirl, I'm very pleased to know that you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I'm sincerely grateful.

Comment from DonandVicki

Exceptional

A poetic kiss taken to the extreme indeed. The verse takes the reader not only to the death bed but the reader takes to the death bed to receive the death kiss. WOW !!!Nicely composed and quite a read. Don

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thank you, Don. I'm very honored! I'm also glad you grasped the concept of the piece. The story, in conjunction with the quotes, is meant to convey that death is nothing to fear or be afraid of, but a new journey of sorts.

Again, thank you for your thoughts and your intelligent review.

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

WOW!!! what a wonderful story told in so few words...going to see God...going home...so very well written...and what a picture...a great write...luff

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks, Linda. You are too kind, but I appreciate it!

reply by l.raven on 11-Mar-2014

you are so welcome...xxoo

Comment from Karen B.

Excellent

A unique twist on this writing prompt and very nicely written, I like how you sum up those end of life moments in a positive way. I hope it does well in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks, Karen, I really appreciate that. I've heard it is doing poorly in the voting. But, it ain't over until the fat lady sings!

Thanks again for reading, and I'm grateful for your kind comments.

Comment from barleygirl

Excellent

This is a well-written piece, supported with many quotations in the author's notes. The idea of going from life on earth to being in God's embrace is presented as something one can accept with good feelings. I'm not crazy about the way passion is conveyed in the poem, tho. I do feel passion for God, but it doesn't look or feel like this. Still, I admire your attempt to paint death as something to look forward to. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks for reading it and sharing your thoughts with me, barleygirl. I always attempt to show my faith in God without coming across as being "preachy" or pretentious. This is, in fact, about a believer being welcomed into Paradise, and knowing where they're going, they are unafraid. But, I want it to appeal to everyone, not just religious zealots. Hence my reasoning for the ways in which the message is conveyed. My first quote from the bible should be an indication of my personal beliefs. I just don't want to impose them upon others through my writing.

Thanks so much again, my friend. Much appreciated!

reply by barleygirl on 11-Mar-2014

I am wholeheartedly behind the idea of approaching a relationship with God like it has many of the creature comforts we are attracted to in relationships with humans and animals. People are touchy-feelie beings & it only makes sense to feel natural when we are in the presence of God *smile*

reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

I couldn't agree more, my friend.

SMILE!

:}

Comment from MissMerri

Exceptional

This is so well-written, and so totally believable. I don't think it is the least bit scary, simply because it is written from the perspective of a surrendered believer who understands that death is simply a passageway from this life to the next. There is a lot to contemplate in this very short, but complete story. It lacks nothing, and is very well written. Good luck in the contest. I'm off to cast my vote.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks, MissMerri, and that was exactly the meaning I was hoping people would take away from this. I didn't intend it to be scary, but comforting. You are very wise, my friend, for having grasped that.

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

This is totally unique version of the first kiss. I assume with Jesus or an angel in death. Great entry for the prompt. Good luck to you.
Teresa

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

It was written to be interpreted as either, Teresa. I wanted it to feel comforting, not scary or intimidating. A believer who's not afraid of death because they know they will soon be in Paradise.

Thanks so much for your kind review and comments.

Comment from DragonSkulls

Excellent

I'm sadly disappointed at the outcomes of these prompt tallies. You should have clearly won the mirror contest and I'm appalled to see the only vote you have so far in this contest is mine. Unbelievable. This is a fantastic entry, friend. Too bad babies and butterflies are all these simpletons (Yeah, I said it, simpletons) want. Forget poetic value or creativity. I hope you get more votes. Excellent write.

DS

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Thank you, DragonSkulls, I appreciate your sentiments and frustration. I refuse to kowtow to the "fairies & butterflies": mentality. I know going in, unless it is a prompt specifically designed for horror, I don't stand an ice cubes chance in hell of winning. I do it to entertain people like yourself, who I know will have nothing to read about in these prompts besides cooing babies and sugary-sweet tales of love. Plus, it forces me to think outside the box. Apparently here, where prompts are concerned, that's not a profitable venture.

Thanks again, my friend!

reply by DragonSkulls on 11-Mar-2014

That's for sure. I went in with the same 'I know I've already lost' attitude as well, lol. I do it a lot just ruffle some feathers, ha. Have a good one.

Ron

reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

You too, Ron!
:}