From a Distance
When the outside world intrudes30 total reviews
Comment from boxergirl
This is a sad poem about two people who love each other but are separated because of prejudice. The ABCB rhyme scheme makes it flow smoothly and it has alliterations spread throughout. Nice job. 8-)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
  |
This is a sad poem about two people who love each other but are separated because of prejudice. The ABCB rhyme scheme makes it flow smoothly and it has alliterations spread throughout. Nice job. 8-)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, boxergirl, for your encouraging review. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from Mastery
Good poetry all the way, Dossie. A lot of heart shines through your words and feelings are abundantly projected. I would suggest you change one thing, just a thought:
"but too much separates us in too many ways.
I want to express my love in a thousand ways,
but it won?t bring you joy, only anguish and pain." (try to change something so you don't have the word "ways" so close in proximity. Perhaps a different word in one line or the other.
Blessings, Bob
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
|
Good poetry all the way, Dossie. A lot of heart shines through your words and feelings are abundantly projected. I would suggest you change one thing, just a thought:
"but too much separates us in too many ways.
I want to express my love in a thousand ways,
but it won?t bring you joy, only anguish and pain." (try to change something so you don't have the word "ways" so close in proximity. Perhaps a different word in one line or the other.
Blessings, Bob
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, Bob, for your encouraging review. As always, I appreciate your suggestions. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from nancyjam
A very sad theme but one that is often
repeated. it is a shame but hopefully
times will change.
Beautifully crafted poem with pleasant rhyme
and good even meter. A lovely presentation.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
|
A very sad theme but one that is often
repeated. it is a shame but hopefully
times will change.
Beautifully crafted poem with pleasant rhyme
and good even meter. A lovely presentation.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, nancyjam, for your encouraging review. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That's sad. I believe in soul mates. I had one. I knew him the moment he walked in the room. This is lovely Dossie.I like the presentation and the wistfullness in the message. Well done.
Nancy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
That's sad. I believe in soul mates. I had one. I knew him the moment he walked in the room. This is lovely Dossie.I like the presentation and the wistfullness in the message. Well done.
Nancy
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, Nancy, for your encouraging review. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from krys123
Truly a magnificent tribute to a close and dear friend and so close of a friend that did appears that you are both together in spirit, thought and dreams. Wonderfully written with a rhythm that flow so smoothly that it indeed makes it simple for one to read the poem easily and clearly. The rhymes are neither forced, labored or strained in these rhyming quatrains. Thank you for posting and sharing this for everyone. May you have a good one always.
Alex
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
Truly a magnificent tribute to a close and dear friend and so close of a friend that did appears that you are both together in spirit, thought and dreams. Wonderfully written with a rhythm that flow so smoothly that it indeed makes it simple for one to read the poem easily and clearly. The rhymes are neither forced, labored or strained in these rhyming quatrains. Thank you for posting and sharing this for everyone. May you have a good one always.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, Alex, for your encouraging and empathetic review; I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
-
You are so sincerely welcome Dossie.
Comment from Gungalo
I want to express my love in a thousand ways,
but it won?t bring you joy, only anguish and pain.
Today, I'm alone. I think of tomorrow's world -
Will it ever accept without a need to explain?
Sigh such a great thought for a friend. But oh so heartbreaking.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
I want to express my love in a thousand ways,
but it won?t bring you joy, only anguish and pain.
Today, I'm alone. I think of tomorrow's world -
Will it ever accept without a need to explain?
Sigh such a great thought for a friend. But oh so heartbreaking.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, Gungalo, for your empathetic and encouraging review; I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
-
Smile girl.
Comment from in777wr#
This was a heart touching poem. There are a lot of things that separates people from each other. The message of your poem is clear. Very emotional poem. The last two stanzas stands out to me in this poem. Well written.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
This was a heart touching poem. There are a lot of things that separates people from each other. The message of your poem is clear. Very emotional poem. The last two stanzas stands out to me in this poem. Well written.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, in777wr#, for your empathetic and encouraging review; I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from Spiritual Echo
This is so very real. It is an amazing perception about feelings that can't be fulfilled and are penned, but not forgotten.
I'm sure your friend appreciates you deep sensitivity to her sorrows.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
This is so very real. It is an amazing perception about feelings that can't be fulfilled and are penned, but not forgotten.
I'm sure your friend appreciates you deep sensitivity to her sorrows.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks, Spiritual Echo, for your empathetic and encouraging review; I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with days/ways. Good alliteration with and/another...than/the...anguish/and. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart breaking message.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with days/ways. Good alliteration with and/another...than/the...anguish/and. Good complimentary photo followed by a heart breaking message.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks, Righteous Riter, for a fantastic and in-depth review; I appreciate it. Dossie
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a heartbreaking poem from the author in this piece of writing. Bigotry is a terrible thing and I am writing about bigotry and prejudice in my script, Village People. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
|
This is a heartbreaking poem from the author in this piece of writing. Bigotry is a terrible thing and I am writing about bigotry and prejudice in my script, Village People. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, Tomes, for your empathetic and encouraging review; I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to you, but I've been super busy. Be blessed. Dossie
-
No worries my friend. I know how busy things can get myself.
Take care,
Tom.