Bookends
The beginning and the end53 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
Awesome and neat........hello....a friendship earned,attraction learned, and verbal sugar-cane......which is my favorite phrase....and I am not eating sugar which I am so addicted to....so thanks......I digress...
I love the neat execution ....from hello to goodbye...bookends...neat
God bless
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Awesome and neat........hello....a friendship earned,attraction learned, and verbal sugar-cane......which is my favorite phrase....and I am not eating sugar which I am so addicted to....so thanks......I digress...
I love the neat execution ....from hello to goodbye...bookends...neat
God bless
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Jenny. That does seem to be the phrase most people are attaching to. I appreciate it! David
Comment from Just Pete
This is as close to perfect as a poem can be. The internal rhyme adds real quality to the writing. I envisaged a short lived romantic attraction that like so many instantaneous connections came to an end. Both awards are well deserve and I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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This is as close to perfect as a poem can be. The internal rhyme adds real quality to the writing. I envisaged a short lived romantic attraction that like so many instantaneous connections came to an end. Both awards are well deserve and I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Wow, Pete, that's high praise, and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Ouch. A tragedy for sure, and so perfectly penned, as I now know will be the case. You have a magic pen, sir, and I wonder how many even realize just how much there is to learn from you...don't you dare leave this site again! :)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Ouch. A tragedy for sure, and so perfectly penned, as I now know will be the case. You have a magic pen, sir, and I wonder how many even realize just how much there is to learn from you...don't you dare leave this site again! :)
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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I'm glad you finally acknowledge the magic of my pen...oh, wait, you're talking to David. Just a moment...
Dawn, I love you! Thank you so much, my friend. Praise like this is really validating, and makes me so glad I came back. Have a great weekend, my friend.
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If that's all it takes, Hyde, a little sweet-talk, ... oops, sorry, David, that stinker does have a way of arousing a certain roughness in a lady...LOL.
You're most welcome. Definitely my pleasure. You have a great weekend too.
Comment from pipersfancy
You say "yes"
I say "No"
You say "Stop"
and I say "Go, Go, GO!"
(Oh-oh no!)
You say "goodbye" and I say "hello!"
The emotional play-out between opposing parties... each intent on his/her own agenda, (perhaps unintentionally,or at least carelessly) going in opposite directions... rather a fascinating study in human behaviour but, (alas!) not so conducive to a relationship that stands the test of time, I'm afraid.
(Insert sad little sigh.)
Christina
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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You say "yes"
I say "No"
You say "Stop"
and I say "Go, Go, GO!"
(Oh-oh no!)
You say "goodbye" and I say "hello!"
The emotional play-out between opposing parties... each intent on his/her own agenda, (perhaps unintentionally,or at least carelessly) going in opposite directions... rather a fascinating study in human behaviour but, (alas!) not so conducive to a relationship that stands the test of time, I'm afraid.
(Insert sad little sigh.)
Christina
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Christina. Yes, I believe these two episodes would fit many a relationship, but the middle portion is where it differs going from Act I to Act III.
Comment from The Death
Hi, David. :)
I like how you have summed up the relationships' twists and turns.
Your word choices and phrasing are wonderful.
Excellent end rhyming along with the internal rhymes.
A wintry sort of cruel retort, but interjected hot
I like the wit you have included in this one.
You say a story here from "Hello" to "Goodbye".
A very well written piece.
Anupam
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Hi, David. :)
I like how you have summed up the relationships' twists and turns.
Your word choices and phrasing are wonderful.
Excellent end rhyming along with the internal rhymes.
A wintry sort of cruel retort, but interjected hot
I like the wit you have included in this one.
You say a story here from "Hello" to "Goodbye".
A very well written piece.
Anupam
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you again, my good man. As always, I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Domino 2
I'm sure your learned notes will educate ALL the less-able member-exponents of poetic meter, David. :-)
I'll have to try your 'squeak', though I doubt it will be as successful with the ladies as yours. :-)
Fabulous internal and external rhymes in perfect meter.
Great fun twists and turns end in the fun un-happy ending.
Very clever and entertaining.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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I'm sure your learned notes will educate ALL the less-able member-exponents of poetic meter, David. :-)
I'll have to try your 'squeak', though I doubt it will be as successful with the ladies as yours. :-)
Fabulous internal and external rhymes in perfect meter.
Great fun twists and turns end in the fun un-happy ending.
Very clever and entertaining.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Yes, the squeak is a controversial and oft-unsuccessful method, depending on the target, but it CAN work. ;-)
THanks so much, my friend. HOpe you're well.
David
Comment from mfowler
It's quite amazing how such a short poem summs up the entirity of a relationship from beginning to the end of love. How appropriate then, is your title?
Your 'couplets in iambic hectameter with internal rhymes in the 2nd and 4th metrical foot, and at the end of the line' is really fascinating and effective in developing the sense of swiftness from rise to decline of the relationship. As it is perfectly metered (no excuses for you, Marillion), it is a key feature of the poem's full effect.
"Hello" and "Goodbye" play a pivotal role in the notion of bookends. The rest of the verses connect and underline how it started and ended. My favourite lines are: you tried to choke a word inside your throat, But out it came, attached to blame, and struck a sour note.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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It's quite amazing how such a short poem summs up the entirity of a relationship from beginning to the end of love. How appropriate then, is your title?
Your 'couplets in iambic hectameter with internal rhymes in the 2nd and 4th metrical foot, and at the end of the line' is really fascinating and effective in developing the sense of swiftness from rise to decline of the relationship. As it is perfectly metered (no excuses for you, Marillion), it is a key feature of the poem's full effect.
"Hello" and "Goodbye" play a pivotal role in the notion of bookends. The rest of the verses connect and underline how it started and ended. My favourite lines are: you tried to choke a word inside your throat, But out it came, attached to blame, and struck a sour note.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, mfowler, for your thorough and adept review. I always love receiving your thoughts, and appreciate your time and review.
Comment from Maria C.
Clever title for a two part of Hello and Goodby with who knows what happened in between. Well chosen wording, end rhyme, internal rhyme and slant rhymes. Great meter. I love the wording, "Verbal sugar-cane."
Another witty writing. You are really turning these out. Nice job.
Blessings,
Maria C.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Clever title for a two part of Hello and Goodby with who knows what happened in between. Well chosen wording, end rhyme, internal rhyme and slant rhymes. Great meter. I love the wording, "Verbal sugar-cane."
Another witty writing. You are really turning these out. Nice job.
Blessings,
Maria C.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Maria! I'm pretty motivated these days, but also came across a file of random poetic notes and fragments, so once those are gone, my production will slow some. I appreciate it.
Comment from michaelcahill
A beginning and an ending. The middle to be filled in as we wish. That covers it really. This is so perfectly written it defies sense. It doesn't seem possible for a piece to make perfectly logical points and yet rhyme and flow as though it were cut by a diamond cutter. I am trying to equate it to playing the piano. I remember when I was good that If I thought about it I couldn't do it. But, I don't think that applies here. Well, Hahaha. Truly thinking out loud. Scary huh? In other words, I really enjoyed this and marveled at it. mikey
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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A beginning and an ending. The middle to be filled in as we wish. That covers it really. This is so perfectly written it defies sense. It doesn't seem possible for a piece to make perfectly logical points and yet rhyme and flow as though it were cut by a diamond cutter. I am trying to equate it to playing the piano. I remember when I was good that If I thought about it I couldn't do it. But, I don't think that applies here. Well, Hahaha. Truly thinking out loud. Scary huh? In other words, I really enjoyed this and marveled at it. mikey
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Mikey. You show your depth even in your reviews, and I appreciate you. Your wife can wait. We need you here 24/7, brother.
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey David. I like this, it's like a plate of sweet and sour spare ribs. Or Yin and Yang, or Gin and Tonic, or Rogue and Marillion. South pole opposites.
And now you've finally admitted to being a drama queen. How cool is that? I like a man that can admit to his weaknesses. ;-)
Super write of course. I trust you are ready for the onslaught coming your way very shortly now.
Your friend, through thick and riposting,
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Hey David. I like this, it's like a plate of sweet and sour spare ribs. Or Yin and Yang, or Gin and Tonic, or Rogue and Marillion. South pole opposites.
And now you've finally admitted to being a drama queen. How cool is that? I like a man that can admit to his weaknesses. ;-)
Super write of course. I trust you are ready for the onslaught coming your way very shortly now.
Your friend, through thick and riposting,
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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THank you so much, dear Gloria. Hey, the rogue owns his weaknesses, just so the ladies won't think him a god and be afraid to lay with him. ;-) The onslaught was complete...and very arousing to the rogue, who will probably post two today, as you did.