Poetry Lesson
Man's reunion trip produces unusual memory.13 total reviews
Comment from Keturah Martin
This story is very interesting and well written. Though it is a very sad story, yet it does very well at holding the interest of the reader. Keep up the good work of painting pictures with the paintbrush of words.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2013
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This story is very interesting and well written. Though it is a very sad story, yet it does very well at holding the interest of the reader. Keep up the good work of painting pictures with the paintbrush of words.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2013
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Happy you enjoyed the story and appreciate the stars. Good luck in your own writing.
Comment from Zinnia48
I really enjoyed this! Original and pleasantly creepy! A couple of comments. This line seemed awkward: "Julia jumped up as fast as her intended..." It took me several reads before I figured out that Chris was the intended. I kept reading that she "intended" to jump up--which made no sense. Also--the paragraph where he gets close and personal with her seems awkward. Not that I've ever tried to write a physically romantic scene--but I do recognize one that is awkward--especially the line about her "female form" . the transition between the paragraph right before, and "then he lost it" seems too abrupt.
But like I started out--I really did enjoy this immensely, and wish you well with the contest. Looking forward to reading more of your work! Caroline
t.
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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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I really enjoyed this! Original and pleasantly creepy! A couple of comments. This line seemed awkward: "Julia jumped up as fast as her intended..." It took me several reads before I figured out that Chris was the intended. I kept reading that she "intended" to jump up--which made no sense. Also--the paragraph where he gets close and personal with her seems awkward. Not that I've ever tried to write a physically romantic scene--but I do recognize one that is awkward--especially the line about her "female form" . the transition between the paragraph right before, and "then he lost it" seems too abrupt.
But like I started out--I really did enjoy this immensely, and wish you well with the contest. Looking forward to reading more of your work! Caroline
t.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Appreciate your comments. It was a little different writing for me. Thank you for the stars. Good luck in your own writing.
Comment from Nosha17
Very well written story, very exciting, it read very well. You have made good use of language, narrative, dialogue and your characters were well drawn. I wanted to point out that as this is a contest entry, I noted a few errors, well the same word repeated quite a number of times, 'Scotch' is spelt with a capital letter. Hope you didn't mind me saying this. Faye
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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Very well written story, very exciting, it read very well. You have made good use of language, narrative, dialogue and your characters were well drawn. I wanted to point out that as this is a contest entry, I noted a few errors, well the same word repeated quite a number of times, 'Scotch' is spelt with a capital letter. Hope you didn't mind me saying this. Faye
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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I never mind any constructive comments. Glad you enjoyed the story. Good luck in your own writing.