Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "To Sappho"Poems written using the pantoum form
56 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
tf, you are getting SO good at this form.
Very prettily done - pretty, not meant in a trite sense!
The first stanza just compelled me on to sail with you on your silent ship .. will we ever find her??
I loved this piece.
Sonali :)
p..s Personally, I prefer besought as past tense of beseech - but beseech is not incorrect... it's just me: sorry!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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tf, you are getting SO good at this form.
Very prettily done - pretty, not meant in a trite sense!
The first stanza just compelled me on to sail with you on your silent ship .. will we ever find her??
I loved this piece.
Sonali :)
p..s Personally, I prefer besought as past tense of beseech - but beseech is not incorrect... it's just me: sorry!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your very kind review, Sonali. I do appreciate your warm words. I generally use 'beseeched' because of the double 'e' sound as in 'plead' and 'pleeeese!'. However, I'm thinking you may be right here. 'Besought' has a more ancient ring to it and the assonance is more pleasing in that particular line. Thanks for the suggestion.
Comment from mickbey
This is an interesting form but an even more interesting poem, the illustration is a good fit the poem and seems to project an imagery that matches the poem, creative storytelling, I thought your word choices created imagery for the entire poem which took us back to 'the time of Sappho,' an interesting and enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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This is an interesting form but an even more interesting poem, the illustration is a good fit the poem and seems to project an imagery that matches the poem, creative storytelling, I thought your word choices created imagery for the entire poem which took us back to 'the time of Sappho,' an interesting and enjoyable read.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Mickbey. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
Comment from teafor2
tfawaus--This is superb for a number of reasons, and all
beside the excellent poetics: allits, rhymes, melding,
meshing and folding. The originality of "quest" to fill
the void/to find the lost legend/to capture the mysterious
awe/to visit the isle of enchantment and or to scratch a
curious itch. The imagery is awesome and the imagination
is equal to the task of the engrossing sea voyage:
"With notes of tidal lunacy
I set out on a lonely trip
Will Sappho ever join with me
Aboard my silent silver ship"
Creativity abound in scribe's Quixote-like adventure. Sorry
if I have misstated your intentions for this well done sea-
faring tale. teafor2
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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tfawaus--This is superb for a number of reasons, and all
beside the excellent poetics: allits, rhymes, melding,
meshing and folding. The originality of "quest" to fill
the void/to find the lost legend/to capture the mysterious
awe/to visit the isle of enchantment and or to scratch a
curious itch. The imagery is awesome and the imagination
is equal to the task of the engrossing sea voyage:
"With notes of tidal lunacy
I set out on a lonely trip
Will Sappho ever join with me
Aboard my silent silver ship"
Creativity abound in scribe's Quixote-like adventure. Sorry
if I have misstated your intentions for this well done sea-
faring tale. teafor2
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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What a lovely review and gift of stars! I wish I had a reviewer contest vote still within my power to give. I appreciate so much the time you have given to comment in such depth upon my poem. Just so kind of you! I shall walk with a spring in my step today!
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You did all the creative hard work...my job
was not only enjoyable, but easy!:)
Comment from dmt1967
I like the sea theme very well written the sea is a unforgiving mistress they say I like the whole concept of the poem thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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I like the sea theme very well written the sea is a unforgiving mistress they say I like the whole concept of the poem thank you for sharing
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, DMT1967. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
Comment from gramalot8
This is a very touch style of poetry and you have mastered it in a beautiful poem. Great message of beauty and love and trying to find it once lost. Great job and thanks for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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This is a very touch style of poetry and you have mastered it in a beautiful poem. Great message of beauty and love and trying to find it once lost. Great job and thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Gramalot8. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony. Very well done indeed. As an ex RAF navigator, I imagine you still would love the adventure here, would you not? LOL
I liked these lines in particular:
"A nightmare journey though it seems
Cruel Eros made it hard for me
To find my Sapphic cave of dreams
He set my heart adrift at sea."
Bravo! Good job overall. Bob ps. I miss your reviews of my work and would like to continue being a fan of yours. Bob
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Hi, Tony. Very well done indeed. As an ex RAF navigator, I imagine you still would love the adventure here, would you not? LOL
I liked these lines in particular:
"A nightmare journey though it seems
Cruel Eros made it hard for me
To find my Sapphic cave of dreams
He set my heart adrift at sea."
Bravo! Good job overall. Bob ps. I miss your reviews of my work and would like to continue being a fan of yours. Bob
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Bob. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars. I've been a bit busy recently and have only been reviewing poetry, which is my own medium. However, when I have a little more time, I'll see if I can also review some prose.
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That's okay, Tony. I could say the same thing...I only review prose??? LOL...I will stop reviewing yours now and we will call it even. No hard feelings. Bob. (ps. I hear this so much over the past ten years...People are too busy to review a piece, but have enough time to write their own work. Best wishes. Bob)
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Fair enough, Bob! We need to keep a balance between our own writing and reviewing others. I was beginning to find that I had almost no time for my own writing, which rather defeats the purpose of belonging to a site such as this.
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Yes...but it gets costly if you have to buy the certs and pumps, believe me. LOL..Bob
Comment from adewpearl
You follow the pattern of repeated lines perfectly for the Pantoum
solid use of abab rhyming
nice alliteration in silent silver
and in sing my soul's
notes of tidal lunacy - I really like that line
vivid, mood-creating detail
I'm sure Yelena must be pleased :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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You follow the pattern of repeated lines perfectly for the Pantoum
solid use of abab rhyming
nice alliteration in silent silver
and in sing my soul's
notes of tidal lunacy - I really like that line
vivid, mood-creating detail
I'm sure Yelena must be pleased :-) Brooke
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Brooke. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
Comment from Fiddler on the Roof
Wow! This is a new form to me and one I can see takes a LOT of work. I really enjoyed reading this and especially like your line "the wind was in my soul".
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Wow! This is a new form to me and one I can see takes a LOT of work. I really enjoyed reading this and especially like your line "the wind was in my soul".
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Fiddler. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
Comment from c_lucas
Love can be cruel, but we keep seeking it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of work, making for a very good read. I'm the lazy type and don't accept challenges. (LOL
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Love can be cruel, but we keep seeking it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of work, making for a very good read. I'm the lazy type and don't accept challenges. (LOL
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, c_lucas. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.
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You're welcome.
Comment from ragamuffin
What a very beautiful, longing piece. Your use of Greek mythology is wonderfully woven into your search and the words flow smoothly. The description brings strong emotion to the words on the page. Well done!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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What a very beautiful, longing piece. Your use of Greek mythology is wonderfully woven into your search and the words flow smoothly. The description brings strong emotion to the words on the page. Well done!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Ragamuffin. I appreciate you taking the time to review, your comments and your generous stars.