The Bounty Hunter
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Night with an Angel"Supernatural Bounty Hunter
12 total reviews
Comment from Princesseunice
"At least you look to be in once/one piece."
"Even in the darkness/darkened room..."
Some corrections to make and this is interesting..
I especially like the way the Hunter and the Colt relate....even if the hunter does the talking.
Well written. Good job
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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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"At least you look to be in once/one piece."
"Even in the darkness/darkened room..."
Some corrections to make and this is interesting..
I especially like the way the Hunter and the Colt relate....even if the hunter does the talking.
Well written. Good job
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much. Good eyes you have.
Comment from pensee
Nice. You have quite the talent for building a scene that seems natural, not contrived. Interesting, psychotic or supernatural plot. I love that last line; it really sums up what the Hunter is dealing with here.
Notes:
"Instantly" was a bit repetitive.
"I came (I've come?) to help you and possibly receive your help."
"...her clothes and approached him unheard (silently)."
"Pleasure(,) the likes of which no man has a right to experience(,) flooded his being."
He cried out in pain as the bullets lodged in (his) back expelled themselves from his body, as if nothing so foul could stand to be in her presence.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Nice. You have quite the talent for building a scene that seems natural, not contrived. Interesting, psychotic or supernatural plot. I love that last line; it really sums up what the Hunter is dealing with here.
Notes:
"Instantly" was a bit repetitive.
"I came (I've come?) to help you and possibly receive your help."
"...her clothes and approached him unheard (silently)."
"Pleasure(,) the likes of which no man has a right to experience(,) flooded his being."
He cried out in pain as the bullets lodged in (his) back expelled themselves from his body, as if nothing so foul could stand to be in her presence.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you.