All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "As Trade Winds Sing"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
55 total reviews
Comment from JM daSilva
You made me think of Bahia, a state in Brazil, and a beautiful beach, and someone I dated briefly but intensely. Thanks for the memories and the poem.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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You made me think of Bahia, a state in Brazil, and a beautiful beach, and someone I dated briefly but intensely. Thanks for the memories and the poem.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thx Joe! :)
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Thank you.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello visionary1234,
I enjoyed this trade winds poem. It reads and flows well and has great imagery within. I particularly liked the following:
We play, as children ... such a pair.
Like ocean's deep - our love affair
(Love ... the real fountain of youth.
It resets our internal clocks.
I also liked:
and two hearts tear -
as tradewinds sing.
(And the trade-winds shall sweetly sing forevermore.)
Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomner
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Hello visionary1234,
I enjoyed this trade winds poem. It reads and flows well and has great imagery within. I particularly liked the following:
We play, as children ... such a pair.
Like ocean's deep - our love affair
(Love ... the real fountain of youth.
It resets our internal clocks.
I also liked:
and two hearts tear -
as tradewinds sing.
(And the trade-winds shall sweetly sing forevermore.)
Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomner
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Bless you LB - thx so much! :)Sharyn
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Sharyn, it is simply lovely, and for your first attempt, it is amazing! I haven't written one yet, I'm not sure I'd have to courage to do one. The description and vivid imagery is inspiring, so many beautiful words, I just loved it!! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Sharyn, it is simply lovely, and for your first attempt, it is amazing! I haven't written one yet, I'm not sure I'd have to courage to do one. The description and vivid imagery is inspiring, so many beautiful words, I just loved it!! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thx so much Sandra - it's quite a beautiful form, but also rather demanding as you have to find a LOT of "perfect" rhymes that make sense! :)
Comment from J. Dark
This is such a wonderfully tropical sunshine piece that it uplifted my evening a bit!! I don't know much about the Rondeau form, Sharon, but knowing you it is absolutely spot on. I do know that it reads like an absolute breeze. Thank you for putting a bit of sunshine into a cloudy evening!
Much love,
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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This is such a wonderfully tropical sunshine piece that it uplifted my evening a bit!! I don't know much about the Rondeau form, Sharon, but knowing you it is absolutely spot on. I do know that it reads like an absolute breeze. Thank you for putting a bit of sunshine into a cloudy evening!
Much love,
Julie :-)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thx so much Julie - I've always liked the form but never written one - rather demanding as you have to find a LOT of "perfect" rhymes that make sense (otherwise it can sound just plain cheesy). Bless you for that lovely six!
:)S
ps: how's Indie??
Comment from ravenblack
Beautiful! Excellent use of the form. You show great restraint in bringing in the ashes at the end. Sad but a great impact on the poem, the ash casting coming so naturally that it cannot help but become a cycle of joy on the trade winds.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Beautiful! Excellent use of the form. You show great restraint in bringing in the ashes at the end. Sad but a great impact on the poem, the ash casting coming so naturally that it cannot help but become a cycle of joy on the trade winds.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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we like subtlety rather than "tearing it up" rb - thx for noticing! :)S
Comment from patsypats
Excellent word choices to create such vivid imagery. Your rhyming scheme is admirably displayed and adds so much personality to your work. Great picture choice to accent your work. Nicely done:)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Excellent word choices to create such vivid imagery. Your rhyming scheme is admirably displayed and adds so much personality to your work. Great picture choice to accent your work. Nicely done:)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thank you so much pp! :)Sharyn
Comment from Cornelius2000
Wow, the rondeau is a complicated format, but you've made it sing in this poem, and sound natural, not at all forced into a format. Very nice job, especially being a first.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Wow, the rondeau is a complicated format, but you've made it sing in this poem, and sound natural, not at all forced into a format. Very nice job, especially being a first.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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It IS complex, Dave - but probably admirably suited to your delightful analytic brain. The challenge is in finding rhymes that make sense!
Comment from Louise Michelle
Your work is always inspired and the quality of your writings shows that. Naturally you would play like children. Is the seaweed really like bamboo. Have you ever been to Galveston? If not, don't bother. The water is dark and the fish are ugly. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Your work is always inspired and the quality of your writings shows that. Naturally you would play like children. Is the seaweed really like bamboo. Have you ever been to Galveston? If not, don't bother. The water is dark and the fish are ugly. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Well Galveston sounds AWFUL Lou - no, I haven't been there and no, I probably won't now!! :))))
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend so much beautiful imagery in this poem I enjoyed my friend well done again regards Jill
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Yes this is well written my friend so much beautiful imagery in this poem I enjoyed my friend well done again regards Jill
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thx so much Jill! :)s
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hi there sweetie. I am so glad that you explained what a rondeau is, because I wouldn't know it from a fondue. I loved the ending. It took me by surprise
Bear
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Hi there sweetie. I am so glad that you explained what a rondeau is, because I wouldn't know it from a fondue. I loved the ending. It took me by surprise
Bear
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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thx so much sweet Glen - I rather liked the musicality of the form, so just had to try one! Glad you liked it (though I am also rather partial to fondue) :)S