All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "No one Noticed"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
45 total reviews
Comment from K.W.
A sad and stark tribute to your friend. Lovely free verse allows your thoughts and feelings to flow unhindered. Tinged with regret. And self-recrimination. But you did notice, my friend.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Xx, k
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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A sad and stark tribute to your friend. Lovely free verse allows your thoughts and feelings to flow unhindered. Tinged with regret. And self-recrimination. But you did notice, my friend.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Xx, k
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Bless you, KW! :)S
Comment from angelmagnet
Sharyn, your poem feels very lonely. I imagine that's what you were trying to express. Is that so? Being a witness to death is always ground shaking. Your poem is a lovely tribute to your friend
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Sharyn, your poem feels very lonely. I imagine that's what you were trying to express. Is that so? Being a witness to death is always ground shaking. Your poem is a lovely tribute to your friend
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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correct, Cindy. :)S
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
what a gentle poem of the fragility of life. To suffer for so long just to fade out in a silent, makes you realize the significance of living every moment to the fullest, with the best of intentions. Jade and I looked after her father for a year at home where he died from the same disease as your friend, I was holding his hand went he passed, once last breath and gone. You painted this sad picture with the color you needed to pay your friend homage,truly heartfelt with magnificent imagery, the dream was caught in your words. R.I.P. Bobby.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
what a gentle poem of the fragility of life. To suffer for so long just to fade out in a silent, makes you realize the significance of living every moment to the fullest, with the best of intentions. Jade and I looked after her father for a year at home where he died from the same disease as your friend, I was holding his hand went he passed, once last breath and gone. You painted this sad picture with the color you needed to pay your friend homage,truly heartfelt with magnificent imagery, the dream was caught in your words. R.I.P. Bobby.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Bless you James - this one's been bubbling around in my head for a few weeks. He was such a simple soul. I miss him. I've not experienced death before.
Thank you so much for your lovely 'six' for this one - it's special.
:)Sharyn
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Sharon,
You've been impressing me with the depth and color of your writing; all the small, yet telling details of the scene. I really think you nailed it. In your notes, you said "the subtlty of death", I know for a fact this is true. Great job--Tedu
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Dear Sharon,
You've been impressing me with the depth and color of your writing; all the small, yet telling details of the scene. I really think you nailed it. In your notes, you said "the subtlty of death", I know for a fact this is true. Great job--Tedu
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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oh bless you Ted - I very much respect your opinion, so am totally delighted with your sixer on this one my dear!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Selina Stambi
So very poignant, this free verse poem.
I love the matter of fact tone that relates a deep and sad tale. It's the simplicity of the lines that creates the impact.
The title speaks sorrowful volumes.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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So very poignant, this free verse poem.
I love the matter of fact tone that relates a deep and sad tale. It's the simplicity of the lines that creates the impact.
The title speaks sorrowful volumes.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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thank you so much, my dear! :)S
Comment from Glasstruth
So sad and touching. It's a moment I know you'll always remember. Had a friend die, and it was strange, really strange knowing he was alive when I came, and gone when I left. The ending is beautiful:
"now the dream-catcher
is laced by cobwebs
enticing flies
dreaming the next dream
my friend, Bobby, died today
and no one noticed
except his cat"
Superb! Les
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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So sad and touching. It's a moment I know you'll always remember. Had a friend die, and it was strange, really strange knowing he was alive when I came, and gone when I left. The ending is beautiful:
"now the dream-catcher
is laced by cobwebs
enticing flies
dreaming the next dream
my friend, Bobby, died today
and no one noticed
except his cat"
Superb! Les
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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Bless you, Les, for your magic sixer on this one! So much appreciated! love it when someone "gets" one of my pieces!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Spitfire
You are awesome, my dear, and quite deserve your high rankings. Marvelous use of the dream-catcher for a symbol. His death is magnified by the tired and broken surroundings. And how sad that his daughter will do away with all signs he existed. A poignant write. Darn. Still can't give you a six.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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You are awesome, my dear, and quite deserve your high rankings. Marvelous use of the dream-catcher for a symbol. His death is magnified by the tired and broken surroundings. And how sad that his daughter will do away with all signs he existed. A poignant write. Darn. Still can't give you a six.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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thx so much spits - your sixworthy praise is praise enough dear! :)S
Comment from JM daSilva
I don't know the kind of death he had, but if he were suffering, maybe it was good. No one wants to die, but unfortunately, we will all die someday. ?
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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I don't know the kind of death he had, but if he were suffering, maybe it was good. No one wants to die, but unfortunately, we will all die someday. ?
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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ten years of slow dying, then a lung cancer diagnosis JM - not an easy death.
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Not an easy death at all. I don't want to go like that. My cousin went the same way. That's awful. My condolences.
Comment from vkmack
This is just heartbreakingly tender and beautiful. I am so sorry for your lose. I have been around death all my life, and it is truly just a walk into the next room--that subtle, as you say. But what a glorious transition it must be.
The cat and the dream catcher here are the ultimate symbols of loss and mourning and things left behind unfinished. Such beautiful thoughts and still hard to let go hopes for him. Brief candle. The description of his appearance and his battle is particularly hard to read--unflinching. This is just masterful.
Wow.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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This is just heartbreakingly tender and beautiful. I am so sorry for your lose. I have been around death all my life, and it is truly just a walk into the next room--that subtle, as you say. But what a glorious transition it must be.
The cat and the dream catcher here are the ultimate symbols of loss and mourning and things left behind unfinished. Such beautiful thoughts and still hard to let go hopes for him. Brief candle. The description of his appearance and his battle is particularly hard to read--unflinching. This is just masterful.
Wow.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much vk! :)S
Comment from justatuna
I'm sorry I don't have a 6 for you. I really am. You tell such a powerful story about death. How no one notices. No one notices much unless it has a direct affect on them. Maybe it's 'effect', I never know. Your poems always seem more like stories to me which is one of the reasons I admire them and your style. You put the reader in the scene with your words allowing them to experience something other than themselves. Hope that makes sense. Another wonderful write and I thank you.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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I'm sorry I don't have a 6 for you. I really am. You tell such a powerful story about death. How no one notices. No one notices much unless it has a direct affect on them. Maybe it's 'effect', I never know. Your poems always seem more like stories to me which is one of the reasons I admire them and your style. You put the reader in the scene with your words allowing them to experience something other than themselves. Hope that makes sense. Another wonderful write and I thank you.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
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It makes perfect sense, Rob - and yes, my style is a Storyteller style, because I like to invite a reader into my thoughts, take them on my thought journey, and bring it to a logical conclusion. Poetry always needs to make sense, yes? (well, to me, anyway) :)))Glad you "got" this one my dear, and I'm honored that it touched you.