Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Cactus Jack and the Kid"A collection of my poems
17 total reviews
Comment from pam60
You get my six stars for this piece. I loved it, you made me laugh out loud. A whirling dervish is my favourite verse. I could just see the lad driving Cactus Jack mad. Well done... again. Pam
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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You get my six stars for this piece. I loved it, you made me laugh out loud. A whirling dervish is my favourite verse. I could just see the lad driving Cactus Jack mad. Well done... again. Pam
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Pam.
For a real laugh, check out the O henry story online 'The Ransom of Red Chief'
Comment from tedanytime
Great story poem about Cactus Jack. His infamy was known far and wide when he was in his prime.
Now almost retired he thought he'd change his game. With stolen fortunes tossed away his soggy mind just thought he still could pull off one last crime.
Your fine rhymes flow and meet wth goodly rhythm to the last. This is where poor Jack has met a child with mouthy blasts. We wonder that the dad did respond quickly to the note. He must have thought as we do now that silence was golden, worth more than cash and whining son to blst the ears.
You have collected cash...er...stars for this.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Great story poem about Cactus Jack. His infamy was known far and wide when he was in his prime.
Now almost retired he thought he'd change his game. With stolen fortunes tossed away his soggy mind just thought he still could pull off one last crime.
Your fine rhymes flow and meet wth goodly rhythm to the last. This is where poor Jack has met a child with mouthy blasts. We wonder that the dad did respond quickly to the note. He must have thought as we do now that silence was golden, worth more than cash and whining son to blst the ears.
You have collected cash...er...stars for this.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thank you, Ted
Comment from adewpearl
I had a complete stories of O Henry when I was a kid - I swear I had almost memorized some of the stories :-)
strong rhymes in excellent ottava rima format
strong choice of verbs to add action and excitement to your story
excellent use of enjambment to create good flow to your story
love that even Butch Cassidy and Jesse James couldn't compete with this robber's exploits LOL
good alliteration like in - found his fortunes fading fast
The Ransom of Red Chief is one of my favorite O Henry stories, and you have done it more than justice in this story poem. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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I had a complete stories of O Henry when I was a kid - I swear I had almost memorized some of the stories :-)
strong rhymes in excellent ottava rima format
strong choice of verbs to add action and excitement to your story
excellent use of enjambment to create good flow to your story
love that even Butch Cassidy and Jesse James couldn't compete with this robber's exploits LOL
good alliteration like in - found his fortunes fading fast
The Ransom of Red Chief is one of my favorite O Henry stories, and you have done it more than justice in this story poem. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Brooke.
I also swallowed up O Henry stories as a child - some of them stick in your mind... Good to find them all online now.
Re-read the original last night - a true classic.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
I recall the ransom of 'what's his name'. And your poem is just hilarious. I was impressed with the progression of the story it contained, the detail and humor. Good luck in the contest. You may just have it. :-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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I recall the ransom of 'what's his name'. And your poem is just hilarious. I was impressed with the progression of the story it contained, the detail and humor. Good luck in the contest. You may just have it. :-) Carolyn
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thank you Carolyn - whats his name was Red Chief I believe - contest is a close run thing....
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer tells the story clearly from beginning to end. The rhyme scheme is effective as this piece flows well. The harmony is where is should be as this piece holds my attention from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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The writer tells the story clearly from beginning to end. The rhyme scheme is effective as this piece flows well. The harmony is where is should be as this piece holds my attention from beginning to end.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thank you RR
Comment from Empathy
Well constructed, well thought out and a tale well told. A bit of fun too. I had to read it in a desperado type accent haha! Every parent knows how he feels! Good work, I enjoyed it. Cheers! E.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Well constructed, well thought out and a tale well told. A bit of fun too. I had to read it in a desperado type accent haha! Every parent knows how he feels! Good work, I enjoyed it. Cheers! E.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Empathising with the desperado I see....
Thanks for the kind words.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is very well written this fun poem made me smile the story unfolds very well I enjoyed well done my friend regards Jill
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Yes this is very well written this fun poem made me smile the story unfolds very well I enjoyed well done my friend regards Jill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Jill