Comment from dogontherocks

Excellent

Ah yes Steve my boy. I can always count on you for a good chuckle. Your creation is constructed well with flowing rhymes and your structure is constant and well done.

Cheers

Dave

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2012

Thank you - two reviews in a row...
Steve

Comment from JMRoland

Good

Hi kiwisteveh,

This clever rhymed poem had me fooled to the end. But surely pizza delivery has not become so risky a task? All in good fun though, and expertly done. Very enjoyable read.

JMR

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thank you.
Steve

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Fun ending, unexpected! I see the whole thing in a different light now. Clever.

But... There's always a 'but' as they say. I was impressed with the aaba rhyme pattern and the smooth and even meter that kept this flowing so beautifully as a serious piece about riding into battle that I was planning by the last paragraph to give it a six. Then you took a sharp turn and gave me a different poem altogether. I like the new, funny one, but would have preferred you kept to the six star poem I thought it would be.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks, Phyllis.
I'm sure some people think I spoiled this - actually I couldn't see how to end it!
Steve

Comment from Wes Guptill

Excellent

Ha! An epic poem heralding the pizza delivery guy! Beautiful! Just have to ask a question, though: Since you made reference to Charon and the torturous journeys shared by Jason and others of his ilk, is your delivery guy Mediterranean? It would perfect if he were.

Excellent display of lyrical silliness!
Salud! And hold the anchovies!
Wes

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Hmmm, I probably just mixed my mythologies a little - and if it was Charon, wouldn't my hero have to be dead already?
Steve

Comment from rosehill (Wendy)

Excellent

Thank you for the great read and good laugh with my coffee this morning. I love that your so spot on with both rhyme and rhythm. I makes it easier to read through all the contest entries when I know that there are poets out there who really do know how it should be done.

Bravo!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks, Wendy
Steve

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

You got me well and true with this one, Steve. I love to hear this performed. Mankind's fate, eh? Must be some pizza--pepperoni and hyperbole and extra cheese.
Remind me not to enter this contest this time around.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks, but I really don't think this has got a snowball's chance in the contest - maybe if I could have come up wih a 'real' ending
Are you sure pepperoni and hyperbole taste good together?
Steve

Comment from jasmine 53

Excellent

well...what to say or write ? a maze of entangled words and thoughts leads one to some time a battlefield where every single soldier is dying illogically and some times to haunted situation where ghosts and supernatural beings are wandering aimlessly to scare you and making you to grope in the thick darkness where every thing is hidden and then suddenly the last lines.... full of tasty smell of pizza makes you to laugh heartily as the enigma is solved and everything shines clearly and is clearly visible. the poet indeed has a richness of thought and the art how to play with the poetic words

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks, Jasmine - just a silly whim to give this over serious drivel a ridiculous ending...
Steve

Comment from sunvell

Excellent

LOL!! Full marks to you for creativity. The beautiful rhyming stanzas foretold a tale from the past, while in reality the pizza delivery is a stamp of the modern times.

Clever twist and great writing!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thank you.
Steve

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

You should apologize - LOL! Here I was reading this incredibly beautiful, dramatic poem and it turns out to be nothing more than a pizza delivery! Shame on you! LOL. Fabulous rhyme and metering throughout. I loved it.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks, dawn = just goofed out on writing a real ending - mankind's fate in my hands? That would be really scary.
Steve

reply by Dawn Munro on 09-Oct-2012

Hahahaha! Okaaaay, if you say it, I hafta believe it! :)

Comment from MidnightWriter4U

Excellent

Still laughing at ending and author's comment! I was really into this before that one smacked me in the eyes! LOL! Excellently done. Artwork fits so well with theme. Rhyming scheme makes for good flow. Good job!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012

Thanks for the kind words.
Steve

reply by MidnightWriter4U on 09-Oct-2012

You are very welcome. MN :)