Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Memories"A collection of poetry.
44 total reviews
Comment from JustJenny
What a truly beautiful poem. I loved the atmosphere you created here, it was almost like I could hear you hushing quietly as I read it. Really wise words you've spoken here and your author note says it perfectly.
Great poem, loved it.
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What a truly beautiful poem. I loved the atmosphere you created here, it was almost like I could hear you hushing quietly as I read it. Really wise words you've spoken here and your author note says it perfectly.
Great poem, loved it.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Crimson Steel
A touching poem/story about your mother. Im sure we can all feel the love and sorrow that you endured with her. We all have a mother that we cherish, some more than others but I felt my heart grow for you here.
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A touching poem/story about your mother. Im sure we can all feel the love and sorrow that you endured with her. We all have a mother that we cherish, some more than others but I felt my heart grow for you here.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Kingsland
EXCELLENT
this i was sure when i started reading it was not going to be very good
shows you what i know
for this is a geat piece of poetic brilliance
and your message is well recieved
thank you for posting this
.................John
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EXCELLENT
this i was sure when i started reading it was not going to be very good
shows you what i know
for this is a geat piece of poetic brilliance
and your message is well recieved
thank you for posting this
.................John
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Well writen and very insightful and true of course.
Grab the day, can't remember the latin phrase. as they say tomorrow never comes.
I thought your poem read really well and is asubject that i think about a lot. It was a pleasure to read and remember what really counts.
Best wishes Peter
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Well writen and very insightful and true of course.
Grab the day, can't remember the latin phrase. as they say tomorrow never comes.
I thought your poem read really well and is asubject that i think about a lot. It was a pleasure to read and remember what really counts.
Best wishes Peter
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Navienta
I really liked this poem in that it was very insightful and something I could relate to. A lot of wisdom was expressed within.
It seemed to faulter in the middle but I really liked the way you brought it to an end.
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I really liked this poem in that it was very insightful and something I could relate to. A lot of wisdom was expressed within.
It seemed to faulter in the middle but I really liked the way you brought it to an end.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Louanne
The message here is so important and summarized
perfectly in the last lines:
"So, take the time now, with a smile or a frown, to live in the day, for tomorrows
uncertain and yesterday's gone and a memory's only as good
as the things you have done"
So sad:"Then one day you awake, left with only memories; Your life passed away while
you were in a daze, held prisoner, bound and chained, by your sorrows."
But it is good that you understand her now and can have compassion with her weakness, and learn the lesson for the rest of your life...
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The message here is so important and summarized
perfectly in the last lines:
"So, take the time now, with a smile or a frown, to live in the day, for tomorrows
uncertain and yesterday's gone and a memory's only as good
as the things you have done"
So sad:"Then one day you awake, left with only memories; Your life passed away while
you were in a daze, held prisoner, bound and chained, by your sorrows."
But it is good that you understand her now and can have compassion with her weakness, and learn the lesson for the rest of your life...
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Sallyo
I found the very long lines slowed me right down, and made the poem more like prose. I also suggest you change
could have been's etc to could-have-beens, and lose the apostrophe, since you don;t use one to form a plural.
I liked the reflective nature of this piece, though.
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I found the very long lines slowed me right down, and made the poem more like prose. I also suggest you change
could have been's etc to could-have-beens, and lose the apostrophe, since you don;t use one to form a plural.
I liked the reflective nature of this piece, though.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from simplycomplex7
I love your style and the easy flow of the poem. I really liked the part being able to see the irony of yesterdays and tomorrows. Great job!
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I love your style and the easy flow of the poem. I really liked the part being able to see the irony of yesterdays and tomorrows. Great job!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from EnjoyPoetry62
Good Job...I enjoyed reading your poem....although I thought "Though" in the 5th stanza threw the flow of your poem off.
Suggestion: maybe use this instead,
"Anyway, I stray, and there was a point to be made "instead of though" use BUT instead, for now, I hardly
know how to make it, or the words that I should say... "
Just a suggestion .......Thanks for sharing......
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Good Job...I enjoyed reading your poem....although I thought "Though" in the 5th stanza threw the flow of your poem off.
Suggestion: maybe use this instead,
"Anyway, I stray, and there was a point to be made "instead of though" use BUT instead, for now, I hardly
know how to make it, or the words that I should say... "
Just a suggestion .......Thanks for sharing......
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Jadxia
A lovely piece of poetry. I love the "could have been, would have been" phrases the best out of this work. And the pause in the middle "but I shall try..." gives a space for breathe yet doesn't interrupt the poem. Outstanding!
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A lovely piece of poetry. I love the "could have been, would have been" phrases the best out of this work. And the pause in the middle "but I shall try..." gives a space for breathe yet doesn't interrupt the poem. Outstanding!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005