The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Preparing Grandmother"A family learns their father is a serial killer
23 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Smurph,
This is another fine chapter and I enjoyed every word. The plot clots more each time I read the events and I feel a bit sorry for James. He is carrying the weight of all this on his young shoulders. I don't think his grandma is crazy just alone and so scared. She lived alone for so long and one can only imagine how terrified she is. I know James will do all he can to protect her. Well done....blessings, chey...******
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2012
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Hi Smurph,
This is another fine chapter and I enjoyed every word. The plot clots more each time I read the events and I feel a bit sorry for James. He is carrying the weight of all this on his young shoulders. I don't think his grandma is crazy just alone and so scared. She lived alone for so long and one can only imagine how terrified she is. I know James will do all he can to protect her. Well done....blessings, chey...******
Comment Written 06-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2012
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She is frightened because she has no education, no social skills, and so unfamiliar with everything around her. She does need someone to protect her. I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
They always kill the messenger. Your latest chapter is marvelously penned. A fast paced read with excellent action sequence of events they puts the reader smack dab in the police station at the detective desk pouring over evidence while the murder board is in sight for the investigators to check out. You had a very fine balance between dialogue, characterization and narration in your story. I would recommend your latest chapter other reviewers. Please keep on writing with a creative pen, my friend. I wish you a lovely day...Melissa.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2012
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Sasha,
They always kill the messenger. Your latest chapter is marvelously penned. A fast paced read with excellent action sequence of events they puts the reader smack dab in the police station at the detective desk pouring over evidence while the murder board is in sight for the investigators to check out. You had a very fine balance between dialogue, characterization and narration in your story. I would recommend your latest chapter other reviewers. Please keep on writing with a creative pen, my friend. I wish you a lovely day...Melissa.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2012
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Thank you very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Valerie, This is a well written chapter. I don't know why but it feels like the first time I've read it so the writing in itself is well thought out and carries the story line perfectly. Well done. Loved it. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Hi Valerie, This is a well written chapter. I don't know why but it feels like the first time I've read it so the writing in itself is well thought out and carries the story line perfectly. Well done. Loved it. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Thanks so much. For some reason, this was a hard chapter to put together.
Comment from RebelRose
Poor James. THis new development is just another burden placed on his shoulders. It all makes sense, though, that his Dad is the one who klled Dark. Another great chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Poor James. THis new development is just another burden placed on his shoulders. It all makes sense, though, that his Dad is the one who klled Dark. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Yes, the pieces are slowly coming together, but still a ways to go. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Alaskastory
'Prepariang To Talk To Grandmother' is a chapter that helps review past happenings, as well as guesses about Alfina. All that makes me wonder how James and family will deal with their fictitious last name.
typo in the title: Prepari[a]ng To Talk To Grandmother
Fascinating chapter, Sasha.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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'Prepariang To Talk To Grandmother' is a chapter that helps review past happenings, as well as guesses about Alfina. All that makes me wonder how James and family will deal with their fictitious last name.
typo in the title: Prepari[a]ng To Talk To Grandmother
Fascinating chapter, Sasha.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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All will be revealed eventually. Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a pretty good post, but it's not as clean as your usual posts. I hope you are feeling better.
The defense will do its best to prove that she is nothing more than an animal that (you can omit that, it's an extra word)
we don't want to open a can of worms unnecessarily." (adverb by the verb, unnecessarily open...)
He paused again, weighing his words carefully. ( adverb by ver, carefully weighing...)
What we need to find out is, whether or not John knew that his mother was still living there." (omit that)
If he gets the death penalty will they blame you?" (comma after penalty)
I turned to look at Mr. Hurley, (period after Hurly, but should probably be....I turned and looked at Mr. Hurly, it's more active)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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This is a pretty good post, but it's not as clean as your usual posts. I hope you are feeling better.
The defense will do its best to prove that she is nothing more than an animal that (you can omit that, it's an extra word)
we don't want to open a can of worms unnecessarily." (adverb by the verb, unnecessarily open...)
He paused again, weighing his words carefully. ( adverb by ver, carefully weighing...)
What we need to find out is, whether or not John knew that his mother was still living there." (omit that)
If he gets the death penalty will they blame you?" (comma after penalty)
I turned to look at Mr. Hurley, (period after Hurly, but should probably be....I turned and looked at Mr. Hurly, it's more active)
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. I sincerely appreciate it. I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from adewpearl
Typo in your title with Preparing
get your grandmother to tell you what really happened, and - add comma
He is top rate and well respected - He is a top rated and well respected
If he gets the death penalty, will they -add comma
Shouldn't we get over to the hospital before the Snohomish police get to her? - I added police and the question mark
This gets more and more intriguing :-)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Typo in your title with Preparing
get your grandmother to tell you what really happened, and - add comma
He is top rate and well respected - He is a top rated and well respected
If he gets the death penalty, will they -add comma
Shouldn't we get over to the hospital before the Snohomish police get to her? - I added police and the question mark
This gets more and more intriguing :-)
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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As always, thanks for catching the spags. I often wonder if it is scientifically possible for me to post a perfect post? Doubt it. I am pleased you found this one intriguing.
Comment from c_lucas
Things are beginning to come to the surface. As usual this is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Things are beginning to come to the surface. As usual this is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Thanks, I am pleased you liked this one.
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You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie.
Comment from dezyne1966
I found your story to be interesting, I can't wait to see what happens next.There was an error in the paragragh that starts "Mac quickly responded,"
Still it is a well writen story.
God Bless
dezyne1966
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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I found your story to be interesting, I can't wait to see what happens next.There was an error in the paragragh that starts "Mac quickly responded,"
Still it is a well writen story.
God Bless
dezyne1966
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Thanks for pointing out the error. I'll go back and take a look at it. I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from skywalkerz7
I read this page only.I really like what I read.I didn't read but one page.And you told me what was going on in the little bit I read.You told me just about everything that was really happening and who the main players are. IT was really interesting,Because I like to write I know when I read a good rag,You are very talented and I see you going places. Like I said with the little I read you showed how well that you can write,I wished I had the time to read it all.Good Luck
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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I read this page only.I really like what I read.I didn't read but one page.And you told me what was going on in the little bit I read.You told me just about everything that was really happening and who the main players are. IT was really interesting,Because I like to write I know when I read a good rag,You are very talented and I see you going places. Like I said with the little I read you showed how well that you can write,I wished I had the time to read it all.Good Luck
Comment Written 05-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the generous compliment. I sincerely appreciate it especially knowing you have not read previous chapters.