The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Evidence "A family learns their father is a serial killer
24 total reviews
Comment from Halfree
Excellent...A good read.Think you are handling this very well and it damn well held my attention. Good to see you back and in control. I know I am supposed to go on and on but I have said it all. Good writing, good dialog and one hell-of a story.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Excellent...A good read.Think you are handling this very well and it damn well held my attention. Good to see you back and in control. I know I am supposed to go on and on but I have said it all. Good writing, good dialog and one hell-of a story.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for the awesome and sincerely appreciated 6 stars and your continued support of my work.
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No prob....just keep writing
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I'm really enjoying reading
The Heir Apparant - so pleased
you took it up again, Sasha.
glasses,while staring - space after comma
in six more(.)
Margaret
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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I'm really enjoying reading
The Heir Apparant - so pleased
you took it up again, Sasha.
glasses,while staring - space after comma
in six more(.)
Margaret
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you. I am pleased you are enjoying this.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
OMG!!!! the hair on the back of my neck is standing streight
up and my nerves are on end just as their's is at this very moment,but out of all of them in that room I feel James and his mom's awkwardness;James seeing the pictures he found knowing how bad things where going to get,living the future
before anyone else and his mom feeling like someone had catapulted her suddenly away from her earthly family,sending
her mind and body to some strenge ungodly place,her fearful of never being able to make it back....I am so loving this my friend,job so well done....I wish I had another six to give you on this one....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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OMG!!!! the hair on the back of my neck is standing streight
up and my nerves are on end just as their's is at this very moment,but out of all of them in that room I feel James and his mom's awkwardness;James seeing the pictures he found knowing how bad things where going to get,living the future
before anyone else and his mom feeling like someone had catapulted her suddenly away from her earthly family,sending
her mind and body to some strenge ungodly place,her fearful of never being able to make it back....I am so loving this my friend,job so well done....I wish I had another six to give you on this one....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you. I am pleased you are enjoying this.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This version is so much more succinct, and I believe, realistic. I believe it's probably a smarter version of the way events would have turned out. It's engaging to the point of riveting... fabulous. Giddy
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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This version is so much more succinct, and I believe, realistic. I believe it's probably a smarter version of the way events would have turned out. It's engaging to the point of riveting... fabulous. Giddy
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you. I am pleased you are enjoying this.
Comment from Joan E.
I remember this chapter well--it's where I developed my respect for Mr. Hurley. I enjoyed it then and relished it now. I did forget the graphic "kill kit," or maybe you added more detail to it. -Joan
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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I remember this chapter well--it's where I developed my respect for Mr. Hurley. I enjoyed it then and relished it now. I did forget the graphic "kill kit," or maybe you added more detail to it. -Joan
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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The kill kit was in the previous one but I just polished this one up a bit. Glad you liked it.
Comment from axelbeariter
and sounding more like a robot than an attorney, exhaled then began to speak./Use exhaled, and then began to speak----However, having no choice in the matter, I had no choice but to accept them./If you would re-write this as such, you will eliminate two choices within a few words of each other: However, having little say in the matter, I had no choice but to accept them.----Looking like four puppets connected by the same string, we all nodded simultaneously./Nice!----This was one great session of explaining the details.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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and sounding more like a robot than an attorney, exhaled then began to speak./Use exhaled, and then began to speak----However, having no choice in the matter, I had no choice but to accept them./If you would re-write this as such, you will eliminate two choices within a few words of each other: However, having little say in the matter, I had no choice but to accept them.----Looking like four puppets connected by the same string, we all nodded simultaneously./Nice!----This was one great session of explaining the details.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thanks for the suggestions, I will go back and fix the chapter. I am so pleased you liked this one. Not an exciting chapter, but a necessary one.
Comment from CHarte
Another good chapter. That's a lot of evidence. I feel for this family, that would be a devastating situation.
I did find one small typo - Mr. Hurley looked direct(e)ly at Charlie before speaking.
Well done!
Collette
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Another good chapter. That's a lot of evidence. I feel for this family, that would be a devastating situation.
I did find one small typo - Mr. Hurley looked direct(e)ly at Charlie before speaking.
Well done!
Collette
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thanks for catching the typo. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from RUMLOVE1000
This story was very easy to follow and read because of the words chosen to create it. The story flow was also equipped with precise timing.
I enjoyed the clarity without the use of insignificant words.
Nice work, I enjoyed!
Blessings,
Rumlove1000
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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This story was very easy to follow and read because of the words chosen to create it. The story flow was also equipped with precise timing.
I enjoyed the clarity without the use of insignificant words.
Nice work, I enjoyed!
Blessings,
Rumlove1000
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thank you. I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from emmaysavage
Even if you did not see much as happening, the chapter held interest and revealed necessary information for the story.
It's a good chapter
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Even if you did not see much as happening, the chapter held interest and revealed necessary information for the story.
It's a good chapter
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thank you. This is more informational than plot developing. I am pleased you liked it.
Comment from NetteJ
Wow. How's he going to get out of this one? :)
You have really good attention to detail - dotted all the i's crossed all the t's.
This is well written, flows well, and identifies who is saying or thinking what easily. I didn't have to reread any of it to figure out what you meant (which I find is a problem with a lot of writing these days)
I got a good sense of the characters as I read this, even though this is the first bit of this story that I have read.
I am looking forward to reading some more of this.
Thanks.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Wow. How's he going to get out of this one? :)
You have really good attention to detail - dotted all the i's crossed all the t's.
This is well written, flows well, and identifies who is saying or thinking what easily. I didn't have to reread any of it to figure out what you meant (which I find is a problem with a lot of writing these days)
I got a good sense of the characters as I read this, even though this is the first bit of this story that I have read.
I am looking forward to reading some more of this.
Thanks.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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I am pleased you understood the plot considering this is the first chapter you have read. I am also pleased you enjoyed it.
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Oh, it's written so well that it was easy to pick up what was going on, who was who and what was what. I really enjoyed it. I will be checking out some more when I have a bit more time.
Thanks again. :)