The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "The Red Dress chapter thirty four"The story of a teenage girl
14 total reviews
Comment from axelbeariter
As she'd looked at Nick, the love shinning from his eyes, she had momentarily frozen inside./Use shining instead of shinning----The truth of the matter was/Drop the cliche, of the matter----She asked hesitantly. Why didn't you say something?"/Drop hesitantly and add a quotation mark before Why----"Yes, I do," she said, before offering him her hand to him again across the table./Drop to him---Extravagant would be more appropriate than extortionate----You've written another great chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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As she'd looked at Nick, the love shinning from his eyes, she had momentarily frozen inside./Use shining instead of shinning----The truth of the matter was/Drop the cliche, of the matter----She asked hesitantly. Why didn't you say something?"/Drop hesitantly and add a quotation mark before Why----"Yes, I do," she said, before offering him her hand to him again across the table./Drop to him---Extravagant would be more appropriate than extortionate----You've written another great chapter.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Axel. Your reviews are helping me so much. I hardly use exclamation marks any more, and debate long and hard when I do. Deb is on 'that' patrol as well, so both bad habits are now more under control *%"*^ Alexis x
Comment from AlexAX
Another great chapter Alexis. What will the school think with all these helicopters popping in and out of the school grounds. Nick is so in love with her and proves it all the time. I think she is feeling more for him but I don't know if it will be enough. Definitely right about letting Nick take all the stuff back with him. Just one thing I saw .. before offering him(no him here) her hand to him again across the table. Alex :)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter Alexis. What will the school think with all these helicopters popping in and out of the school grounds. Nick is so in love with her and proves it all the time. I think she is feeling more for him but I don't know if it will be enough. Definitely right about letting Nick take all the stuff back with him. Just one thing I saw .. before offering him(no him here) her hand to him again across the table. Alex :)
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you Alex. There's loads going on in the next few chapters to help decide Lisa's fate, but your right, Alan is not a happy bunny, and his bitterness may surprise you. Alexis x
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You're welcome :) Sounds like it will get even more interesting! Alex :)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where nick is so understanding about everything and is pampering lisa with attention. just one little nit--it was richard gere instead of kevin costner in Pretty Woman
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where nick is so understanding about everything and is pampering lisa with attention. just one little nit--it was richard gere instead of kevin costner in Pretty Woman
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Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Lol, well spotted! I got a bit carried away with poetic license when editing. Thank goodness for you! Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Stop right now. I am green with envy. I know that this is fiction, but just one new dress would be nice. Never mind the helicopter.
Actually, I had to laugh at the idea of a helicopter arriving at the school for Lisa. I can only imagine what the principal will think
Great chapter
kate
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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Stop right now. I am green with envy. I know that this is fiction, but just one new dress would be nice. Never mind the helicopter.
Actually, I had to laugh at the idea of a helicopter arriving at the school for Lisa. I can only imagine what the principal will think
Great chapter
kate
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Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Funnily enough, I've based this school on a boarding school I went to, and that's exactly how one of the wealthy fathers turned up one day!(they say you should write about what you know about!) Another world I'm afraid. Oh, those were the days... Thank you for yet another of your great and encouraging reviews. Alexis x