Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

That woman really is unbelievable.
Poor Lisa and Alan.. I wonder what's
in store for them.

experience,into - space after comma
You might consider using less "she"s... i.e.
When she remembered back to that night, she inwardly shuddered.
Remembering back to that night, she inwardly shuddered.

Eve smiled acidically -acidly
policeforce
police force

until(,) at last(,) Eve stopped

have been robbed[,] turned out to - comma not needed
really has gone!!(") she kept
Sadly(,) their happiness

Margaret

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2012

My thanks again, Margaret. Your input is appreciated, and acted upon! Sadly, that woman was my mother, and I remember it well! I wrote this book ten years ago, more as a cathartic release, and have just 'dug it up' since I joined Fan Story. The strange thing is, I just sold my late parents home in Dunoon this week, so feel released to tell the story. Just wish I could be as wonderfully descriptive as you! Alexis x

reply by Margaret Snowdon on 23-Jan-2012

How awful to have such a controlling mother, Alexis...and sad, as we need our mothers when so young. Enjoying your story. M

Comment from AlexAX

Excellent

This is a book that once you pick up, you really don't want to put it down, I am so riveted. You just make your characters come alive and show there vulnerable side too, so we can truly relate to what is happening. You definitely have a winner :) Well done Alexis!

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2012

You have no idea how that makes me feel! Makes the six hours I spent editing two chapters today worth all the effort. Thank you!

reply by AlexAX on 22-Jan-2012

You're welcome :) You are doing a great job!

Comment from MumEsGirl

Excellent

I loved this. Great to see mother subdued for once. My heart goes out to David though. He really has gotten a rough deal, first his nutty wife, and now the loss of his daughter.

At least Lisa has now found her feet.

kate

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 Comment Written 22-Jan-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2012

I must admit, I really enjoyed writing this chapter (very cathartic!) Thank you for your great review, it is really appreciated. Alexis x

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Eve and Alan and even her father supported Lisa so well in this chapter. Lisa is so relieved. Probably regretting her father having to leave. But it is just the way it is. What a pity you are promising us a twist or the worst. But keeps us on our toes.

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 Comment Written 22-Jan-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2012

Thank you so much, Ine. The mother is too obsessed with being right, and nobody being in a position to challenge her. Sadly, she has been indulged for too long. Alexis x

reply by robina1978 on 22-Jan-2012

Yeah she is so nasty, that nobody dares to go against her. And the booze does not help.