The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Red Dress Chapter five"The story of a teenage girl
15 total reviews
Comment from Carrie Carson
The scenes are set vividly and I can readily grasp its beauty especially with the sun painting the mountain tops. That gives a very serene image.
Some of the story uses more words, I think, than are needed to convey the message. I find that disruptive to the story line. For example, Para 14, "turning him on in a way he had never been turned on before" thirteen words to say she turned him on in an enchanting (novel, entirely new, invigorating...)style. That sentence, to me, runs.....
I still find myself interested in how Alan fares in the love triangle.
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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The scenes are set vividly and I can readily grasp its beauty especially with the sun painting the mountain tops. That gives a very serene image.
Some of the story uses more words, I think, than are needed to convey the message. I find that disruptive to the story line. For example, Para 14, "turning him on in a way he had never been turned on before" thirteen words to say she turned him on in an enchanting (novel, entirely new, invigorating...)style. That sentence, to me, runs.....
I still find myself interested in how Alan fares in the love triangle.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from debskatz
Hey Alexis,
Well, well. A clog in the drain! I bet Alan is going to give Nick some trouble.
Okay, hurry up with the next chapter! LOL
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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Hey Alexis,
Well, well. A clog in the drain! I bet Alan is going to give Nick some trouble.
Okay, hurry up with the next chapter! LOL
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 15-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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I love that expression! Seriously, I haven't heard it before! Chapter six now posted, little bit of sexual tension going on there...
Comment from Hareem.S
Ahh teenage and those little games and being the attention of everyone. A very well written story. Penned down with vivid details and kept me engaged till the end. Enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Ahh teenage and those little games and being the attention of everyone. A very well written story. Penned down with vivid details and kept me engaged till the end. Enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much for your lovely review. Yes, those teenage years can be hard. Must be the hormones!
Comment from Malerie
Ah, the twist. The suspense/intrigue is building. Lisa has met a young man of her own age and I am waiting to see if there is chemistry between the two. I was a little surprised to find out that she had accepted Nick's proposal. I'm waiting to see what happens next. Thanks again.
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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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Ah, the twist. The suspense/intrigue is building. Lisa has met a young man of her own age and I am waiting to see if there is chemistry between the two. I was a little surprised to find out that she had accepted Nick's proposal. I'm waiting to see what happens next. Thanks again.
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Comment Written 15-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much, I hope to be posting Chapter 6 shortly. That may explain more because it is told from Lisa's perspective. Alexis x
Comment from LisaSilva
Sigh...takes me away to another place and time. When I was a young girl, I felt the power of my gaze. I could sense how I moved the men I was attracted to and it felt so sweet. I was raised to be innocent, but sometimes, I wish I could have played around a little more before settling in to marriage and children. It was such fun. Thanks for taking me back, yet away to a more distant land;)
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Sigh...takes me away to another place and time. When I was a young girl, I felt the power of my gaze. I could sense how I moved the men I was attracted to and it felt so sweet. I was raised to be innocent, but sometimes, I wish I could have played around a little more before settling in to marriage and children. It was such fun. Thanks for taking me back, yet away to a more distant land;)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
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Goodness! I've just caught up with the reviews on this chapter and realised I hadn't thanked you for yours. Apologies plus my thanks yet again for the wonderful six!