Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Dreamin' Out Loud"18 total reviews
Comment from made2soar
What else??? :o) Good rambling, I mean dreaming, something we all do until we are snapped back to reality. My question about rhyming or not, had nothing to do with your poem, because I think it is good. Jim
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What else??? :o) Good rambling, I mean dreaming, something we all do until we are snapped back to reality. My question about rhyming or not, had nothing to do with your poem, because I think it is good. Jim
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from Jaxson Phoenix
Jewell,
this is a very thought provoking work. A thought I am sure most people have felt at some point in their lives. Hang on to your dreams, its the only way to make them come true.
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Jewell,
this is a very thought provoking work. A thought I am sure most people have felt at some point in their lives. Hang on to your dreams, its the only way to make them come true.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from Freeway29
This is delightful, to never give up dreams for they are eternal. What a thought never to dream and how dark the world would become. I loved this and thought it was so well described. Thank you for sharing it.
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This is delightful, to never give up dreams for they are eternal. What a thought never to dream and how dark the world would become. I loved this and thought it was so well described. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from Shari_K
Very good dreaming out loud or could be mistaken for rambling ;-) However, you wish to put it, your words were very creatively expressive! Such imagination and beauty in this one. Something different but great. Flows smooth as well.
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Very good dreaming out loud or could be mistaken for rambling ;-) However, you wish to put it, your words were very creatively expressive! Such imagination and beauty in this one. Something different but great. Flows smooth as well.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from shelley kaye
i guess i should day dream more often lol
great job!
well written
nice flow and rhythm
totally understandable
and relatable
now stop the dremaing and get back to work lol ;)
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i guess i should day dream more often lol
great job!
well written
nice flow and rhythm
totally understandable
and relatable
now stop the dremaing and get back to work lol ;)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from Alexander Brogan
and he would relate to me and...
wisk me away to his hideaway...
and we'd make passionate love for days on end..... cute. :-)
good poem. AB
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and he would relate to me and...
wisk me away to his hideaway...
and we'd make passionate love for days on end..... cute. :-)
good poem. AB
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from Typist
My only concern is the little "(Oops! I'm dreaming outloud again!)" part at the end. It was okay, just seemed a little tacky, I guess. Like a tune writers have played one too many times... If I was to suggest an alternative, I'd say just add a little "..." after the last question, making it "and you know what else?...", like it could just keep going.
However, this cynicism aside, I do like the poem. Though, as any pessimist can tell you, it gets annoying when others constantly advise "Don't let anyone keep you down," the poem ideal itself was quite amusing and quite refreshing, somehow. I myself prefer to dream in my head, but to each her own, eh?
Oh, and "outloud" is two words: "out loud".
Good job on breaking the rhyming/form mold! You go, girl!
:)
Deepest regards
~Typist
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My only concern is the little "(Oops! I'm dreaming outloud again!)" part at the end. It was okay, just seemed a little tacky, I guess. Like a tune writers have played one too many times... If I was to suggest an alternative, I'd say just add a little "..." after the last question, making it "and you know what else?...", like it could just keep going.
However, this cynicism aside, I do like the poem. Though, as any pessimist can tell you, it gets annoying when others constantly advise "Don't let anyone keep you down," the poem ideal itself was quite amusing and quite refreshing, somehow. I myself prefer to dream in my head, but to each her own, eh?
Oh, and "outloud" is two words: "out loud".
Good job on breaking the rhyming/form mold! You go, girl!
:)
Deepest regards
~Typist
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
Comment from blondiebbaby
There is nothing wrong with dreaming out loud. Or dreaming period for that matter. As I copedependent of an alcholic abusive ex-husband and father I am finally learning my dreams should come first and they should come last.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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There is nothing wrong with dreaming out loud. Or dreaming period for that matter. As I copedependent of an alcholic abusive ex-husband and father I am finally learning my dreams should come first and they should come last.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2005
