Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Bathroom Incident"A collection of my poems
68 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
Though I am not a guy, I could quite visualize the pain and tears that your poor shower episode invoked. Men and women have little lessons that they learn. It's mostly women (I think) that can do the most damage to themselves. Like putting the panty liner in the wrong way around, or worse, getting the bikini wax stuck in places where the eyes would water trying to remove it. A very funny Story in a Poem, Steve. I had not seen it before, so thanks for the re-posting.
Rose.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Though I am not a guy, I could quite visualize the pain and tears that your poor shower episode invoked. Men and women have little lessons that they learn. It's mostly women (I think) that can do the most damage to themselves. Like putting the panty liner in the wrong way around, or worse, getting the bikini wax stuck in places where the eyes would water trying to remove it. A very funny Story in a Poem, Steve. I had not seen it before, so thanks for the re-posting.
Rose.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Rose - glad you enjoyed this piece of self-inflicted pain and humiliation.
Steve
Comment from mstad55
Excellent. Well written from start to finish. Very enjoyable even if the end results were painful, the telling of the story raises a laugh. Good job. mstad55
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Excellent. Well written from start to finish. Very enjoyable even if the end results were painful, the telling of the story raises a laugh. Good job. mstad55
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Spitfire
A clever way to market your book--challenge the reader. The poem is a hoot. And to think it's based on truth. I guess there's an art to cleaning a man's equipment. Hubby says a kick in the balls is quite painful. You certainly got this point across with the hyperbole of your scream. Great flow and rhyme. Should have won the contest! A fun read.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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A clever way to market your book--challenge the reader. The poem is a hoot. And to think it's based on truth. I guess there's an art to cleaning a man's equipment. Hubby says a kick in the balls is quite painful. You certainly got this point across with the hyperbole of your scream. Great flow and rhyme. Should have won the contest! A fun read.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
Hilarious, Steve! You have such a gift for
rhythm and clever rhyming while telling a
funny story.
Glad you brought it back so I could catch it.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Hilarious, Steve! You have such a gift for
rhythm and clever rhyming while telling a
funny story.
Glad you brought it back so I could catch it.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, nancy.
Steve
Comment from kiwijenny
Yikes yikes yikes........KiwiSteve..... .........no pain no gain they say
It takes a flicking and keeps on ticking......just barely...
Well done..............I chortled just a little
God bless
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Yikes yikes yikes........KiwiSteve..... .........no pain no gain they say
It takes a flicking and keeps on ticking......just barely...
Well done..............I chortled just a little
God bless
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you.
If you can't make fun of yourself....
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve, thank you for bringing this out a mothballs. I truly enjoyed this and made me laugh very much. The humor in this poem is extravagantly fantastic. Your rhyming was exceptional and neither of your rhymes were forced, labeled or strained while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem clearly. Thank you for sharing am posting this for everyone and made the Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Steve, thank you for bringing this out a mothballs. I truly enjoyed this and made me laugh very much. The humor in this poem is extravagantly fantastic. Your rhyming was exceptional and neither of your rhymes were forced, labeled or strained while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem clearly. Thank you for sharing am posting this for everyone and made the Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Alex, thanks for the kind words.
Steve
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You are so sincerely welcome Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
LOL - I love a story in a poem and I also like to laugh. You've brightened my day (after reading some somber poems) and I thank you. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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LOL - I love a story in a poem and I also like to laugh. You've brightened my day (after reading some somber poems) and I thank you. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Lou.
Steve
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Steve,
LOL ... thanks for my first morning chuckle of the day! :) I haven't had time to be on FanStory the past few weeks, but sure am glad that I read this one this morning.
Great humour with terrific imagery! I loved it! I especially liked all the descriptive detail of the alarm raised in the WHOLE community, including amongst even the birds and dogs, haha! Fave line ... "Till slather-lather bubbles flew" ... say that 10 x fast! Great rhyming and a very smooth flow, also contributed to making this one delightful read!
Great job, Steve!
Connie
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Steve,
LOL ... thanks for my first morning chuckle of the day! :) I haven't had time to be on FanStory the past few weeks, but sure am glad that I read this one this morning.
Great humour with terrific imagery! I loved it! I especially liked all the descriptive detail of the alarm raised in the WHOLE community, including amongst even the birds and dogs, haha! Fave line ... "Till slather-lather bubbles flew" ... say that 10 x fast! Great rhyming and a very smooth flow, also contributed to making this one delightful read!
Great job, Steve!
Connie
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Connie.
Glad you enjoyed this celebration of self-inflicted pain and humiliation.
Steve
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Kiwisteve,
Delightful read all the way. Not so much for you at journeys end, and it would a appear it was quite a hoot at your expense as well! But as you so rightly point out, the 'unique package' must be protected! So sorry, but can't stop laughing!! ('-')
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin... Jax
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Hi Kiwisteve,
Delightful read all the way. Not so much for you at journeys end, and it would a appear it was quite a hoot at your expense as well! But as you so rightly point out, the 'unique package' must be protected! So sorry, but can't stop laughing!! ('-')
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin... Jax
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Jax!
Steve
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Twenty hilarious stanzas - any truth in this story - are you just bragging or wishful thinking? This is really a very funny and well written story in rhyme - it's always when I have just given my last 6 that I read something like this - incidentally, I did not laugh - I felt your pain LOL. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Twenty hilarious stanzas - any truth in this story - are you just bragging or wishful thinking? This is really a very funny and well written story in rhyme - it's always when I have just given my last 6 that I read something like this - incidentally, I did not laugh - I felt your pain LOL. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Dorothy
Yes there is some truth in it, but I'm not letting on which bits!
Steve