The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Calm Before The Storm"A family learns their father is a serial killer
24 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
With your computer printer problems and your new class demands, I am surprised that you were able to include another chapter this week. You are a trooper! I has forgotten the aunt was feisty and had a sense of humor and liked her quip that the prosecutor would "probably be out of a job." -Joan
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
  |
With your computer printer problems and your new class demands, I am surprised that you were able to include another chapter this week. You are a trooper! I has forgotten the aunt was feisty and had a sense of humor and liked her quip that the prosecutor would "probably be out of a job." -Joan
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
-
Thanks for the great review. Yes, Aunt Em is a blessing in disguise.Glad you liked this one.
Comment from whitteron
Yikes....did he kill the girls in the cabin? I know you can't tell me, but I have a feeling this is where this is heading. I like the addition of more relatives...they are always so wonderful during chaos...to stir it up more, you know. Nice read.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
Yikes....did he kill the girls in the cabin? I know you can't tell me, but I have a feeling this is where this is heading. I like the addition of more relatives...they are always so wonderful during chaos...to stir it up more, you know. Nice read.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
You are right, I am not going to tell you!!! Yes, I like the addition of relatives. You'll be happy to know there may be more hidden in closet too.
Comment from Belinda
Another interesting and informative chapter, preparing us for the frightening press conference. Aunt Em and Uncle Mark's visit is a good thing for the family. (Both Aunt Em AND Uncle Mark ...)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
Another interesting and informative chapter, preparing us for the frightening press conference. Aunt Em and Uncle Mark's visit is a good thing for the family. (Both Aunt Em AND Uncle Mark ...)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
I am pleased you found this interesting and a good preface for press conference. I plan to post that either tonight or in the morning.
Comment from RebelRose
It is all starting to come back to me now as I read along. As you said, no major changes in this one. You describe the emotions very well and the dialogue is like listening to them talk. Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
It is all starting to come back to me now as I read along. As you said, no major changes in this one. You describe the emotions very well and the dialogue is like listening to them talk. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
The major changes will soon become obvious to those familiar with the first draft. For now, the changes are minor. Glad you like how this is progressing.
Comment from Halfree
Ok my friend. I was sliding towards a four. The intensity of the story seems, to me, is easing. Some points about the the sisters..."They spoke on the phone.." somewaht clinical for two close sisters, perhaps They "chatted" as close sisters might do on at least talked. The meeting st the hotel "How did you know where to find..." A little more emotion..perhaps "Good heavens Emily, how did you.."
This is a great story..Maybe I am reading it with your book "A Leaf..." flitting through my mind. I am looking forward to the next release and hope you publish soon, put me down for one of the first copies.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
Ok my friend. I was sliding towards a four. The intensity of the story seems, to me, is easing. Some points about the the sisters..."They spoke on the phone.." somewaht clinical for two close sisters, perhaps They "chatted" as close sisters might do on at least talked. The meeting st the hotel "How did you know where to find..." A little more emotion..perhaps "Good heavens Emily, how did you.."
This is a great story..Maybe I am reading it with your book "A Leaf..." flitting through my mind. I am looking forward to the next release and hope you publish soon, put me down for one of the first copies.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
I am keeping all the suggestions for editing on a list. Originally I intended this for a younger audience but am now leaning towards a more sophisticated one. You are not the first to mention this, but as yet I haven't made up my mind. Hate to leave you hanging but I am still tallying the votes.
-
It is your story and I think it will rest well with a great number of readers across the age lines
Comment from words
I am glad that James is going to speak first. He has no illusions about his father and feels great sorrow for all of the victim's families. Hopefully, he will set the tone and his mother will follow.
I still have not reached the point where I had begun reading in the original version ... this is so much fun.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
I am glad that James is going to speak first. He has no illusions about his father and feels great sorrow for all of the victim's families. Hopefully, he will set the tone and his mother will follow.
I still have not reached the point where I had begun reading in the original version ... this is so much fun.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
I pulled the original and have replaced it with this one. I only mention the original for those who are familiar with the story. Just a note, the original stops around chapter 45 and was incomplete. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
-
Yup, I remember ... I was reading it ... got hooked and poof ... it just stopped. So glad to know that this time I will finally be able to get to the end. Hugs, d
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
Great new chapter for the book.
I'm intrigued to see how things develop with the new characters Aunt Em and Uncle.
James continues to make his presence known.
A really enjoyable read - no good asking me to spot spags - I'm far too absorbed in the story.
Ron
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
Hi Smurphy
Great new chapter for the book.
I'm intrigued to see how things develop with the new characters Aunt Em and Uncle.
James continues to make his presence known.
A really enjoyable read - no good asking me to spot spags - I'm far too absorbed in the story.
Ron
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
Thanks, I am very pleased you like how this is progressing.
Comment from lola29
I'm so glad they have support from their family members. I can't imagine if everyone turned their backs on them. Aunt Em sounds like a wonderful person. I really like the compassion shown in this chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
I'm so glad they have support from their family members. I can't imagine if everyone turned their backs on them. Aunt Em sounds like a wonderful person. I really like the compassion shown in this chapter.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
Thanks, I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Your story is progressing nicely. I'm enjoying it.
Both Aunt Em an Uncle Mark wanted to go with us to the hospital [Em and Uncle]
"Martha has been avoiding reality for so long it has to be a hard for her to accept [I believe the 'a' before hard needs to be taken out]
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
Your story is progressing nicely. I'm enjoying it.
Both Aunt Em an Uncle Mark wanted to go with us to the hospital [Em and Uncle]
"Martha has been avoiding reality for so long it has to be a hard for her to accept [I believe the 'a' before hard needs to be taken out]
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you like how this is progressing.
Comment from adewpearl
typo - Both Aunt Em AN Uncle Mark wanted
remain at the hotel with my Aunt and Uncle - drop the caps, not being used as their names in this sentence.
Excellent introduction to the aunt and uncle - you establish their attitudes and personalities quickly. Good dialogue throughout. Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
|
typo - Both Aunt Em AN Uncle Mark wanted
remain at the hotel with my Aunt and Uncle - drop the caps, not being used as their names in this sentence.
Excellent introduction to the aunt and uncle - you establish their attitudes and personalities quickly. Good dialogue throughout. Brooke
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
-
Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you like how this is progressing.
