Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "One Moment Can Change A LIfetime"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
43 total reviews
Comment from fictionwriter
That was really cruel, the men coming to their door like that, but what a relief to know it wasn't your husband, but hard to know someone else is affected that way. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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That was really cruel, the men coming to their door like that, but what a relief to know it wasn't your husband, but hard to know someone else is affected that way. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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Joy,
Thanks again for all the encouragement and support. Appreciate the review...Carol
Comment from MJMuraco
This story is so emotional and touching. I could feel the anxiety the two women felt as the man approached them. You did an excellent job of creating suspense and emotion in such a short story. Having the daughter with child added to the drama and anxiety.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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This story is so emotional and touching. I could feel the anxiety the two women felt as the man approached them. You did an excellent job of creating suspense and emotion in such a short story. Having the daughter with child added to the drama and anxiety.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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MJM
I ampleased that you enjoyed this one. I appreciate your encouragement and support. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Carol,
what I like about your excellent story It wasn't the usual scene of a woman with child told that her loved one was killed
Of course I felt sorry for the other lady and her two children.
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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Hello Carol,
what I like about your excellent story It wasn't the usual scene of a woman with child told that her loved one was killed
Of course I felt sorry for the other lady and her two children.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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Gert,
Thankyou so much for reading and commenting. Aooreciate it as always. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Nanticoke
Even if I didn't know about having your child or other family members deployed, I get it.
More so, because I do, and volunteer for the Return from War program.
Your description of characters, emotions, dialogue, and relief, survivor mentality and thanking GOD, are perfect.
I'll be posting When Warriors Die, soon. Hope to hear from you. Totally different story line, but think you can relate.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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Even if I didn't know about having your child or other family members deployed, I get it.
More so, because I do, and volunteer for the Return from War program.
Your description of characters, emotions, dialogue, and relief, survivor mentality and thanking GOD, are perfect.
I'll be posting When Warriors Die, soon. Hope to hear from you. Totally different story line, but think you can relate.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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Nanticoke,
Thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate you stopping by and leaving the stars..Smiles,Carol
Comment from Sasha
I am still learning flash fiction so I wont attempt to know what does or does not need to be eliminated. I must say I enjoyed this story from beginning to end and as far as I could tell there were no unnecessary words. Great entry for the contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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I am still learning flash fiction so I wont attempt to know what does or does not need to be eliminated. I must say I enjoyed this story from beginning to end and as far as I could tell there were no unnecessary words. Great entry for the contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Sasha,
Appreciate the kind review and all your comments. Your support is valued immensely. Smiles, Carol
Comment from humpwhistle
I nicely-told tale of dread, relief and innocent guilt. You do a fine job a picking a particular moment and letting your story develop You give the reader enough credit to parse the situation without being beaten over the head. Good storytelling. Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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I nicely-told tale of dread, relief and innocent guilt. You do a fine job a picking a particular moment and letting your story develop You give the reader enough credit to parse the situation without being beaten over the head. Good storytelling. Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Lee, How nice of you to read another of my stories..I am thrilled that you enjoyed it and loved your comments. Thank you...Carol
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Smiles this was a tense essay. Shame, these families all sitting around and waiting to hear about their men fighting a war. And the angel of death passed them this time.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Hi Smiles this was a tense essay. Shame, these families all sitting around and waiting to hear about their men fighting a war. And the angel of death passed them this time.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Jada,
Trying to move past the doom and gloom and at least add a little joy to my stories. Glad you enjoyed this one.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Dear Author;
Occassionally, I read a story and think "What's the point in a review. The writer knows this is brilliant, at the very least she/he dropped some cash into the FS pool to validate her opinion."
Yes, it was worth it.
You manage to create drama and anticipation with your opening sentence and sustain that drama until you sign off with your last period.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Dear Author;
Occassionally, I read a story and think "What's the point in a review. The writer knows this is brilliant, at the very least she/he dropped some cash into the FS pool to validate her opinion."
Yes, it was worth it.
You manage to create drama and anticipation with your opening sentence and sustain that drama until you sign off with your last period.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Spiritual Echo,
Though I have faith in my abilities, I truly appreciate each and every kind review and thank you from the bottomof my heart. Especially the brilliant part..almost levitated me off the chair. lol I am thrilled you enjoyed my work.
Smiles to you, Carol
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Try arrogance. That works too!
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Now that's an adjective that's never been applied to me...
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Try it on for size. You have talent.
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Thank you!
Comment from lola29
What an awful situation for anyone to have to face--knowing that the news of death is imminent. It really brings a picture of the wars America is fighting into full view.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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What an awful situation for anyone to have to face--knowing that the news of death is imminent. It really brings a picture of the wars America is fighting into full view.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Lola,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a kind review. I've been away from the site for so long, it's difficult to get back into the writing mode. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This was a very good read from beginning to end. You created tension with the military men in the car and Grandma and Sara watching and dreading them getting out of the car. It was quite a surprise ending.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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This was a very good read from beginning to end. You created tension with the military men in the car and Grandma and Sara watching and dreading them getting out of the car. It was quite a surprise ending.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2010
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Eliz,
Thanks for the support and encouragement. I am thrilled you enjoyed the story. Smiles, Carol
