Comment from Triple P

Excellent

Perfect little picture of summer, especially sunrises and sunsets. At first, I didn't like that internal rhyme in the second stanza, but after reading it a few times it grew on me. Great job. Good luck in the contest.
Patrick.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

Thanks Patrick - I'm so glad you took a second look at this one -I also wasn't sure about the internal rhyme, but when I wrote it, I kind of liked the sound of it, so I kept it that way. I really appreciate your kind comments and your good wishes. Sandy

Comment from Ms. Gray

Excellent

I like that your poem starts out with alliteration and images of color. Nicely done with just a few words. I like this haiku. You have captured much while actually saying very little. The artwork is amazing and suits your sunny words.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you so much patti - your opinion is always appreciated. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you so much patti - your opinion is always appreciated. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. Sandy

Comment from anabelle

Excellent

What a lovely way to describe summer. I especially loved the 'brushstrokes', it really 'painted' a good picture of what summer is really like.

Best of luck in the contest.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you anabelle - I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. I always see summer in pastels I believe, so I thought it would be the perfect to describe it. Thanks for your kind words and good wishes. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you anabelle - I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. I always see summer in pastels I believe, so I thought it would be the perfect to describe it. Thanks for your kind words and good wishes. Sandy

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Your poem is composed in good haiku form - the first two interconnected lines paint a lovely visual with those pastel colors that I associate with sea and summer sky - and your satori is a fitting reflection. I also like the use of the opening alliteration :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

Thanks so much Brooke, your opinion means a lot and I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. I certainly appreciate your very kind words. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

Thanks so much Brooke, your opinion means a lot and I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. I certainly appreciate your very kind words. Sandy

Comment from Cedar

Excellent

Beautiful piece. The picture that you have selected
really makes your words jump right off the page. When
I saw the picture, I thought how great it would be
laying there in the sand. Great job.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thanks so much Cedar - the picture really got to me as well. I'm so glad you liked my haiku and appreciate your very kind words. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thanks so much Cedar - the picture really got to me as well. I'm so glad you liked my haiku and appreciate your very kind words. Sandy

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Nice haiku. Good satori line. Fine bonus of alliteration nd internal rhymes too, though these are not usual in haiku. Lovely presentation. true to form style. nice title too.

Best wishes,
rd

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

dear rd - thanks for your kind words - I struggled with the rhyme as well, but decided to keep it because I thought the words flowed well. So glad you enjoyed and thanks again. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

dear rd - thanks for your kind words - I struggled with the rhyme as well, but decided to keep it because I thought the words flowed well. So glad you enjoyed and thanks again. Sandy

Comment from Mithma

Excellent

It is lovely. I think you paid enough justice to Haiku. No friction between words and smooth flow. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you kindly Mithma for your lovely comments and good wishes. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thank you kindly Mithma for your lovely comments and good wishes. Sandy

Comment from Minglement

Excellent

I really enjoyed this lovely little haiku on summer. It's a great enry for the haiku contest. Loved your satori (last) line. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

Thank you so much Minglement - I'm glad you enjoyed my haiku and appreciate your kind comments and good wishes. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

Thank you so much Minglement - I'm glad you enjoyed my haiku and appreciate your kind comments and good wishes. Sandy

Comment from Lady Jane

Good

This poem is a good tribute to haiku form and style. Color/contrast add to the display and overall draft of the poetic piece. I find no errors to note and wish you the best of luck in the haiku contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

dear JaCherie - thanks very much for your thoughtful comments and for your good wishes for the contest. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

dear JaCherie - thanks very much for your thoughtful comments and for your good wishes for the contest. Sandy

Comment from annettebda

Excellent

This is a haiku. Volumes spoken in a few syllables, may not satisfy the purists but it works for me. Evocative of the summer days of my life.
Annette

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thanks Annette - I struggled with the rhyme also, but I just liked the way it sounded, so decided to keep it in. I thank you so much for your thoughtful comments - much appreciated. Sandy

reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010

thanks Annette - I struggled with the rhyme also, but I just liked the way it sounded, so decided to keep it in. I thank you so much for your thoughtful comments - much appreciated. Sandy