Hoagie to go
A thandwich to go...23 total reviews
Comment from Carol D Parker
I know the word Hoagie from Philadelphia. I hardly ever hear it. Are you from that area? It reminds me of one time we were traveling in the west by car and came across a little cafe. The sign on the windoow said, "hoggies."
Your poem is written well, even though I'm not sure what it's saying. What I got out of it is how much the price of a hoagie has gone up' Great dialogue. Nice story. Creative and clever. Good luck.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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I know the word Hoagie from Philadelphia. I hardly ever hear it. Are you from that area? It reminds me of one time we were traveling in the west by car and came across a little cafe. The sign on the windoow said, "hoggies."
Your poem is written well, even though I'm not sure what it's saying. What I got out of it is how much the price of a hoagie has gone up' Great dialogue. Nice story. Creative and clever. Good luck.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Actually I am from New Jersey where we call the "subs" short for submarine sandwiches... thank you for reading and commenting. I really do appreciate your time...
Comment from MizKat
This is different, which made it interesting. I like that you were able to entertain without using the letter S. I find it a difficult chore. You did great. Kat
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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This is different, which made it interesting. I like that you were able to entertain without using the letter S. I find it a difficult chore. You did great. Kat
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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MizKat... thank you for reading and commenting. It is greatly appreciated...
Comment from wierdgrace
excellent and truly great diolouge with out using the letter S, I did not find any errors or revisions, the story was smooth to read, and was fun as well, good luck in the contest. hope you get lots of votes.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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excellent and truly great diolouge with out using the letter S, I did not find any errors or revisions, the story was smooth to read, and was fun as well, good luck in the contest. hope you get lots of votes.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Thank you for reading this and the positive comments you provided...
Comment from anne1204
Very clever, I never thought of a everyday order as poetry. I guess it is all around us. The verse was great and not an s to be seen. Good luck in the contest. Anne 1204
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Very clever, I never thought of a everyday order as poetry. I guess it is all around us. The verse was great and not an s to be seen. Good luck in the contest. Anne 1204
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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anne, thank you for reading my story and reviewing it as well...
Comment from Peter Burger
It's cool to see how a passage sounds without the use of 's'. That hissing sound, that slide. The absence of the resonance of 's'. 'S', to me, is the smoothest sounding letter. "Hoagie" is rough. "Sandwich" is smooth. I can see how using this technique can create a powerful effect. A new trick to keep in mind. Without knowing this was for a contest, I wonder if I'd've noticed the absence of 's'.
I like it.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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It's cool to see how a passage sounds without the use of 's'. That hissing sound, that slide. The absence of the resonance of 's'. 'S', to me, is the smoothest sounding letter. "Hoagie" is rough. "Sandwich" is smooth. I can see how using this technique can create a powerful effect. A new trick to keep in mind. Without knowing this was for a contest, I wonder if I'd've noticed the absence of 's'.
I like it.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Peter... thank you for the positive words and taking the time to read this short, short story...
Comment from Frances Jean
I'm impressed. Well done - it's not easy without an 's' as this letter is the one most used at the beginning of a word in the English language. Cute little story. Good luck Frances
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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I'm impressed. Well done - it's not easy without an 's' as this letter is the one most used at the beginning of a word in the English language. Cute little story. Good luck Frances
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Frances... thank you for reading and the positive comment.
Comment from adewpearl
You've created a complete scene with natural sounding dialogue, all without the letter S - that's funny that you came up with all those hoagie ingredients that all don't have an S in them so that this doesn't sound at all stilted. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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You've created a complete scene with natural sounding dialogue, all without the letter S - that's funny that you came up with all those hoagie ingredients that all don't have an S in them so that this doesn't sound at all stilted. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Brooke, confession... I work in a deli so the dialogue came easy, I just didn't knoe if the story would fly. I guess it has. Thank you for reading it and the positive comments.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good storyline, i want me a hoagie now, with out the vinegar.
i wish you the best of luck in this contest.........
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good storyline, i want me a hoagie now, with out the vinegar.
i wish you the best of luck in this contest.........
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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sweetwoodjax... I peeked at your profile and see that you reside in Florida. My 2 sons do as well, both as Culinary grads. So, if whenever they open there own business (a deli as I told them to start small) I will be sure to offer you a hoagie or whatever else you may want. Thanks for reading and commenting positively. I do appreciate it!
Comment from IndianaIrish
I must be out of the deli world ... six bucks for a ham and cheese sandwich?? Hope it includes a beer at least. LOL
Your story makes me see a little kid going into a deli to order his first bigboy sandwich ... kinda an act of reaching manhood. I'm surprised the kid didn't tell him to shove it when he found out the price. I enjoyed your story because it made me think of my own scenario using your 50 words ... and it was fun. Best wishes.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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I must be out of the deli world ... six bucks for a ham and cheese sandwich?? Hope it includes a beer at least. LOL
Your story makes me see a little kid going into a deli to order his first bigboy sandwich ... kinda an act of reaching manhood. I'm surprised the kid didn't tell him to shove it when he found out the price. I enjoyed your story because it made me think of my own scenario using your 50 words ... and it was fun. Best wishes.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Indy... I can only assume you're from cow country, Indiana, but here in Joysie as some folks say, hoagies are expensive. Thank you for taking the time to read and review this short, short story. I certainly appreciate the comments...
Comment from harleyangelbrat
This is cute and creative and has no S in it, so I would say it qualifies for the contest. I really like it. It took imagination. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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This is cute and creative and has no S in it, so I would say it qualifies for the contest. I really like it. It took imagination. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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harley... thanks for reading and reviewing the story and for those positive comments... certainly is appreciated
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You are very welcome. I hope you have a blessed day. Marilyn
