Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Candle Burns"A book of a mixture of stories
35 total reviews
Comment from fionageorge
Carol, this is a brilliant little story. Yes, I think I would still kill him, once I was satisfied he had suffered! I am still laughing. I did sense it was him before he was exposed (so to speak!), but wasn't sure.
My smiling faced[face] greeted
Warmest regards Carol, Marijke
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Carol, this is a brilliant little story. Yes, I think I would still kill him, once I was satisfied he had suffered! I am still laughing. I did sense it was him before he was exposed (so to speak!), but wasn't sure.
My smiling faced[face] greeted
Warmest regards Carol, Marijke
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Marijke,
Yes, the clues were a bit obvious but in one of my last ones I had several readers who were indignant that I hadn't given clues strong enough to recognize. Oh well, it was fun!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Trybuck
The extremes some men will go through for the loves of their lives..Sometimes a little something different is good. Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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The extremes some men will go through for the loves of their lives..Sometimes a little something different is good. Well done, Buck
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Buck,
Sure cured her writer's block if nothing else, right? Thanks for stopping by and commenting...Smiles, Carol
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Begin Again,
What a good story, a kidnapping with humor. You have a great imagination. I found no spag, but I did find one place you might want to check. You have written a rather long sentence using the same word twice.
That's where the melodramatic comes in (since) I wasn't really impressing anyone (since) I was the only one there.
If it were my story I would delete one since and use another word or make two sentences. Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hi Begin Again,
What a good story, a kidnapping with humor. You have a great imagination. I found no spag, but I did find one place you might want to check. You have written a rather long sentence using the same word twice.
That's where the melodramatic comes in (since) I wasn't really impressing anyone (since) I was the only one there.
If it were my story I would delete one since and use another word or make two sentences. Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Becky,
Thanks so much for spotting that for me. It never fails I can reread my stories a hundred times and skip right over the obvious. Glad you enjoyed.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from MercyWrites
Well done! Excellent writing. I love your metaphor. I thought you were writing a romance, but you threw a twist that had me thinking she was in trouble. I figure it out when she recognized his scent. Your characters felt real, and I enjoyed the dialogues.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Well done! Excellent writing. I love your metaphor. I thought you were writing a romance, but you threw a twist that had me thinking she was in trouble. I figure it out when she recognized his scent. Your characters felt real, and I enjoyed the dialogues.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Mercy,
Thank you so much. I know the hints were a bit obvious but in one of my last stories a few chastised me for not leaving proper hints...I aim to please.
I really appreciate lyour encouragement and kind comments. The extra stars lit up my morning.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
Now that's an aniversary you would never forget, isn't it. Too bad men don't really think like that, well most don't anyway. Great job.
comes in since I wasn't really impressing anyone since I was the only one there(since and since, suggest changing the second one to, because.)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Now that's an aniversary you would never forget, isn't it. Too bad men don't really think like that, well most don't anyway. Great job.
comes in since I wasn't really impressing anyone since I was the only one there(since and since, suggest changing the second one to, because.)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Joy,
Yesterday was my anniversary. Not that he doesn't still constantly tell me how he feels, etc...but that SPICE we once knew has slipped away and the story just sort of sprung from that...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Belinda
Ha, Miss Drama Queen ... I mean Carol, you certainly write with drama. Great characterization, great description. I laughed when Mike propelled realized he was late and propelled himself into a running position. And the ending does present a twist, though not too surprising (maybe because it's too long?). Anyway, interesting.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Ha, Miss Drama Queen ... I mean Carol, you certainly write with drama. Great characterization, great description. I laughed when Mike propelled realized he was late and propelled himself into a running position. And the ending does present a twist, though not too surprising (maybe because it's too long?). Anyway, interesting.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Belinda,
Thanks as always for reading and enjoying. Appreciate the kind comments and encouragement. Smiles, CArol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my this twist got me. I had her husband as her kidnapper, but I figured he was going to end up being a bad guy. I am so happy he was a good guy. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Oh my this twist got me. I had her husband as her kidnapper, but I figured he was going to end up being a bad guy. I am so happy he was a good guy. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Barbara,
Yesterday was my anniversary so I wrote the story with my honey in mind...except at our age the sizzle is merely evaporated steam I think...Smiles, Carol
Comment from lola29
What a wild imagination her husband has. I'm thinking he could do a bit of writing himself. There is nothing like a afternoon filled with surprises.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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What a wild imagination her husband has. I'm thinking he could do a bit of writing himself. There is nothing like a afternoon filled with surprises.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Lola,
Yesterday was my anniversary and my mind drifted back to days when SPICE was an everyday ...oops....several times a day..occurence...So I wrote the story with my honey in mind. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, CArol
Comment from missy98writer
Carol,
I'm happy you've posted two terrific stories today. I loved your well written story 'The Candle Burns' for the writing prompt to write about a kidnapping. You cleaver writer having her own husband kidnap her for a sexy anniversary present. You are writing purple prose now. As always excellent dialogue, plot, twist ending, and descriptive writing that conjures up the stories in a readers head. I bet your story wind the writing prompt. I loved it. Now about you entering the purple prose IV contest. . .Melissa.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Carol,
I'm happy you've posted two terrific stories today. I loved your well written story 'The Candle Burns' for the writing prompt to write about a kidnapping. You cleaver writer having her own husband kidnap her for a sexy anniversary present. You are writing purple prose now. As always excellent dialogue, plot, twist ending, and descriptive writing that conjures up the stories in a readers head. I bet your story wind the writing prompt. I loved it. Now about you entering the purple prose IV contest. . .Melissa.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Melissa,
Yesterday was my anniversary and I got to thinking about how SPICE use to be a one time, two time and who knows...three time occurence in our life...Now we're left with evaporated steam. Don't get me wrong..he is constantly expressing himself nicely, but unfortunate age and health change our roles in life. I wrote the story so he'd know I remembered. Thanks for enjoying it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Realist101
NEED SIX NEED SIX!!!!!!!! THIS is perfect!! A shoe in to win Carol!!! I love this, I did NOT expect this ending either, ha!!!! I would have been furious too, but really, what a neat anniversary!!! Wow. GOOD job!! Susan
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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NEED SIX NEED SIX!!!!!!!! THIS is perfect!! A shoe in to win Carol!!! I love this, I did NOT expect this ending either, ha!!!! I would have been furious too, but really, what a neat anniversary!!! Wow. GOOD job!! Susan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Susan,
You've got more confidence then I do, girl friend. Thank you...I wrote the story because yesterday was our anniversary and my mind was taking atrip down memory lane...Age and health through a curve and left us with evaporated steam. Thanks again...CArol