A Walk In My Shoes
Be careful! What goes around, comes around.21 total reviews
Comment from highlander104
Good contender for this contest. A touch of supernatural giving the "what goes around comes around" philosophy. "This could be you someday, Kira."
Your descriptions and easy flow of this story are excellent. Didn't find any spags. Good luck in the contest.
Jean K.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Good contender for this contest. A touch of supernatural giving the "what goes around comes around" philosophy. "This could be you someday, Kira."
Your descriptions and easy flow of this story are excellent. Didn't find any spags. Good luck in the contest.
Jean K.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks you so much for this six star rating. I am so honored you enjoyed it. Had fun writing it. Thanks also for your good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from adewpearl
Guilt has quite a power over the mind - it is so sad that people disregard the poor and homeless as if they are stray dogs to be run over and not cared about, just a nuisance in one's busy day. You get into this woman's mind well, from the way she conducts her life and business to the way she regards this "inferior" man to the guilt that consumes her in the end. A provocative and haunting story, a good interpretation of the contest picture. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Guilt has quite a power over the mind - it is so sad that people disregard the poor and homeless as if they are stray dogs to be run over and not cared about, just a nuisance in one's busy day. You get into this woman's mind well, from the way she conducts her life and business to the way she regards this "inferior" man to the guilt that consumes her in the end. A provocative and haunting story, a good interpretation of the contest picture. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for the great review and stars. I wanted to take a different tack with this. I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Sandollar
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
What a great story! If only people really could experience something like that when they do a wrong, what a different world we'd have. Of course my idea is that they'd come back to their real world, but changed by their experience.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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What a great story! If only people really could experience something like that when they do a wrong, what a different world we'd have. Of course my idea is that they'd come back to their real world, but changed by their experience.
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review and five-star rating. I agree. There'd be a lot less wrongdoing in the world if people really experienced consequences like this for their actions.
Thanks again.
Sandollar
Comment from mtngalofnc
hi Sandollar,
What a contest entry. Very imaginative.
I saw no spag and the story has a smooth flow.
I found myself wanting to read more to find out what happened to your character.
Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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hi Sandollar,
What a contest entry. Very imaginative.
I saw no spag and the story has a smooth flow.
I found myself wanting to read more to find out what happened to your character.
Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you very much for the great review and stars. I'm very glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks also for the good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from hotstuff
Wow, what a twist to your story. I have to admit I was confused at first that Kira had switched places and was suddenly the old man but realise that your message is that 'unless we do walk in other's shoes we can never fully understand how they feel.'
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Wow, what a twist to your story. I have to admit I was confused at first that Kira had switched places and was suddenly the old man but realise that your message is that 'unless we do walk in other's shoes we can never fully understand how they feel.'
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your wonderful review and five-star rating. I'm happy you enjoyed this. I had fun writing it. How much wrong would be done in this world if the consequences of our actions were something like this?
Thanks again,
Sandollar
Comment from RebelRose
This is quite an interesting story with a lesson to be learned. Good dialogue and description of characters. Good kluck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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This is quite an interesting story with a lesson to be learned. Good dialogue and description of characters. Good kluck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for this great review and rating. I'm happy you enjoyed this. It was fun to write. Thanks, too, for the good wishes in the contest,
Sandollar
Comment from findingmyroom
Wow. I love the supernatural feel to this piece. Indeed, Kira learned about karma the hard way, and I'm cheering for the old man all the way. Your story is complete, with great dialogue and details; nothing to suggest for improvement.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Wow. I love the supernatural feel to this piece. Indeed, Kira learned about karma the hard way, and I'm cheering for the old man all the way. Your story is complete, with great dialogue and details; nothing to suggest for improvement.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for this great review and five-star rating. I am glad to know you enjoyed this. I had a blast writing it. It's all about karma.
Sandollar
Comment from BeKind
WOW! This story is incredible. You had me from beginning to finish. I am begging for more. The Twilight Zone, WOW! Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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WOW! This story is incredible. You had me from beginning to finish. I am begging for more. The Twilight Zone, WOW! Well done.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and rating. I am honored you enjoyed this so much. I had a great time writing it. Yes, I was always a fan of TZ.
Sandollar
Comment from Rama Rao
Although the initial part interested me, the story as a whole has confused me thorughly.
I couldn't make out whether it was something to do with paranormal or second reincarnation.
The transformation of Kira was abrupt and not properly conveyed to the reader. Was it her guilt complex or was it retribution of God?
Whatever, the reader should be given a hint, in my opinion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Although the initial part interested me, the story as a whole has confused me thorughly.
I couldn't make out whether it was something to do with paranormal or second reincarnation.
The transformation of Kira was abrupt and not properly conveyed to the reader. Was it her guilt complex or was it retribution of God?
Whatever, the reader should be given a hint, in my opinion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I always strive to be clear to the reader, so I'm sorry it was confusing to you. It's a simple story about karma and consequences.
Sandollar
Comment from Thesis
That was sick. In a good way, of course. Wow, she became the person she hit. How cool is that. I wonder how the guy felt, being trandformed into a thirty-four year old white chick.
Lol. That is so wrong in so many ways, lol. - Thesis
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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That was sick. In a good way, of course. Wow, she became the person she hit. How cool is that. I wonder how the guy felt, being trandformed into a thirty-four year old white chick.
Lol. That is so wrong in so many ways, lol. - Thesis
Comment Written 16-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for your great review and stars. You know how karma is. I think the old man is going to have a ball in his new body and skin color. It's going to be quite a change. Glad you enjoyed.
Sandollar