Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "The Bench"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
39 total reviews
Comment from E.P. Thomas
Hi,
You have the basic elements of a story: setting, character conflict, and resolution. I know how difficult that can be, especially in just 300 words. I'm trying to learn how to write good flash, and the best wc I've finished with was about 685 words. You're to be commended.
I certainly 'got the feel' for the setting and such through your use of imagery; however, I felt your narrative descriptions needed tightening so they 'suggest' more than 'tell'.
Good luck with this. I look forward to seeing more of your work!
ep
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Hi,
You have the basic elements of a story: setting, character conflict, and resolution. I know how difficult that can be, especially in just 300 words. I'm trying to learn how to write good flash, and the best wc I've finished with was about 685 words. You're to be commended.
I certainly 'got the feel' for the setting and such through your use of imagery; however, I felt your narrative descriptions needed tightening so they 'suggest' more than 'tell'.
Good luck with this. I look forward to seeing more of your work!
ep
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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EP
Thank you for reading and comment...Smiles to you
Comment from Shirley B
This is a very nice story. It is filled with emotion. No one need to speak in this story. The message still came through loud and clear. Good luck to you in the contest. This is a very strong entry. Great entry, Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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This is a very nice story. It is filled with emotion. No one need to speak in this story. The message still came through loud and clear. Good luck to you in the contest. This is a very strong entry. Great entry, Shirley
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Shirley,
Thank you so much for your great review and all the continued support. Smiles to you,
Comment from Shirley McLain
What an amazing love story. I want more. It was warmly written, easy to read because it flowed so well. It brought out the emotion when I was reading it. Good job
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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What an amazing love story. I want more. It was warmly written, easy to read because it flowed so well. It brought out the emotion when I was reading it. Good job
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Texasgal,
Thank you so much for your great review and all the continued support. Smiles to you,
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
What powerful last lines, old man taking his last breathe. This love, you present here is more than physical one, it is simply spiritual and eternal love that will never end. I loved your story, the narration and how you keep the interest of the reader going.
Well done
K
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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What powerful last lines, old man taking his last breathe. This love, you present here is more than physical one, it is simply spiritual and eternal love that will never end. I loved your story, the narration and how you keep the interest of the reader going.
Well done
K
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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K
Thank you so much for your great review and all the continued support. Smiles to you,
Comment from InHisownwrite
a very moving piece... the imagery is great... love the old man's love story that never left his heart... The ending is great as well! (She'd come to take him home)
Like it! Bryan
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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a very moving piece... the imagery is great... love the old man's love story that never left his heart... The ending is great as well! (She'd come to take him home)
Like it! Bryan
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Bryan,
Thank you so much for your great review and all the continued support. Smiles to you,
Comment from SamanthaD.
Wow. This story gave me chills. I was happy at the ending- that this heartache could stop but I didn'r expect that ending. This is a beautiful, touching story
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2010
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Wow. This story gave me chills. I was happy at the ending- that this heartache could stop but I didn'r expect that ending. This is a beautiful, touching story
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2010
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Samantha
Thank you for enjoying the story. I really appreciate your kind words. Smiles to you....
Comment from Nicole Maye
Great story. So much said in so few words. I could feel the love this man had for his wife, and still does. The emotions you set forth to invoke were indeed invoked. Very descriptive and well-written.
Good luck in the contest. God bless.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Great story. So much said in so few words. I could feel the love this man had for his wife, and still does. The emotions you set forth to invoke were indeed invoked. Very descriptive and well-written.
Good luck in the contest. God bless.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Nicole,
Thank you so much for your great review and all the continued support. Smiles to you,
Comment from M. Karol
A beautiful love that sustained even after the death of a parner. Told in a heartfelt light way. short and a sweet one.
The end was unexpected.
Madhvi
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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A beautiful love that sustained even after the death of a parner. Told in a heartfelt light way. short and a sweet one.
The end was unexpected.
Madhvi
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Madhvi,
I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. Thank you for your review. Smiles to you...
Comment from medel
Now THAT is a truly, sweet, well written piece of flash fiction! It managed to choke me up a tiny bit at the end. Great job describing the wife and how she affected the old man. The poignance at the end makes it complete.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Now THAT is a truly, sweet, well written piece of flash fiction! It managed to choke me up a tiny bit at the end. Great job describing the wife and how she affected the old man. The poignance at the end makes it complete.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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medel,
I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. Thank you for your review. Smiles to you...
Comment from Sharesy
This was an extremly well written, but very sad tale. I suppose he was happier in the end being dead with her, than being alive without her. I liked this story very much. Nice job. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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This was an extremly well written, but very sad tale. I suppose he was happier in the end being dead with her, than being alive without her. I liked this story very much. Nice job. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Sharesy
I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. Thank you for your review. Smiles to you...
