Poems from a Pensive Poet
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Final Page"Verses from my heart
31 total reviews
Comment from Oatmeal
BethShelby,
Beautiful poem. The theme was well chosen. The flow was nice. The arrangement is formatted very well.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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BethShelby,
Beautiful poem. The theme was well chosen. The flow was nice. The arrangement is formatted very well.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009
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Oatmeal, Thank you so much for the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from Deejharrington
This a perfect tribute to a lost friend who composes and writes as we do. I would disagree with one part. I believe that we do meet again, in the hereafter. Someday I hope that years from fanstory friends and I will meet and compare writings beyond the vail. My best thoughts and blessings.
dj
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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This a perfect tribute to a lost friend who composes and writes as we do. I would disagree with one part. I believe that we do meet again, in the hereafter. Someday I hope that years from fanstory friends and I will meet and compare writings beyond the vail. My best thoughts and blessings.
dj
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thank you DJ. I appreciate the find review and nice comments. I agree and I expect to meet my friends again beyond the vail but as far as this earth goes, the chapter is closed.
Beth
Comment from Brendajay
I enjoyed your sonnet to a friend using a book as a metaphor. Whenever I finish a book, I feel like it's an old friend leaving, just like you expressed. I don't see any revisions that are needed. Keep writing and I'm sorry for your loss.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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I enjoyed your sonnet to a friend using a book as a metaphor. Whenever I finish a book, I feel like it's an old friend leaving, just like you expressed. I don't see any revisions that are needed. Keep writing and I'm sorry for your loss.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thank you Brenda, I appreciate the review and the nice comments.
Beth
Comment from debskatz
Hi BethShelby,
Yes, it is difficult to lose a good friend & your poem expresses that loss beautifully. I know you'll miss her terribly, but I'm certain you have wonderful memories of the two of you. Thank you for sharing this loving tribute with us.
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Hi BethShelby,
Yes, it is difficult to lose a good friend & your poem expresses that loss beautifully. I know you'll miss her terribly, but I'm certain you have wonderful memories of the two of you. Thank you for sharing this loving tribute with us.
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Deb, Thank you for reviewing and for the wonderful words and expressions of sympathy.
Beth
Comment from rama devi
So sorry for the loss of your friend. this is a poignant and well written sonnet with perfect iambic flow and nice rhyming. The phrasing is good, though a few spots still need tweaking in my opinion.
*Another chapter closed today(comma) my friend.
Very good imagery and phrasing here-
Our last goodbye is like the death of reason.
Inside me lies a cold and empty room.
I sense the sudden shock of winter season,
and feel the icy wind's relentless gloom.
*My friend, we've known the sun, and life was sweet.
Together we'd go forth to greet the day,
but now, the page is turned. The tale's complete.
The time has come to put the book away.
I'd punctuate these lines (above) differently---so just tossing it out there for you to consider if you like it:
My friend, we've known the sun, and life was sweet;
together we'd go forth to greet the day.
But now, the page is turned, the tale's complete;
the time has come to put the book away.
Superb closing lines-
Although it hurts to read the final part,
the lines are etched in gold inside my heart.
Excellent presentation. Fine writing.
Strong emotional tone and impact.
I can sense your love of this friend.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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So sorry for the loss of your friend. this is a poignant and well written sonnet with perfect iambic flow and nice rhyming. The phrasing is good, though a few spots still need tweaking in my opinion.
*Another chapter closed today(comma) my friend.
Very good imagery and phrasing here-
Our last goodbye is like the death of reason.
Inside me lies a cold and empty room.
I sense the sudden shock of winter season,
and feel the icy wind's relentless gloom.
*My friend, we've known the sun, and life was sweet.
Together we'd go forth to greet the day,
but now, the page is turned. The tale's complete.
The time has come to put the book away.
I'd punctuate these lines (above) differently---so just tossing it out there for you to consider if you like it:
My friend, we've known the sun, and life was sweet;
together we'd go forth to greet the day.
But now, the page is turned, the tale's complete;
the time has come to put the book away.
Superb closing lines-
Although it hurts to read the final part,
the lines are etched in gold inside my heart.
Excellent presentation. Fine writing.
Strong emotional tone and impact.
I can sense your love of this friend.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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rama divi, thank you so much for the lovely review. I really appreciate you helping me with the punctuation. I have changed it acordingly.
Beth
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Most welcome my friend. Warmly,
rd
Comment from Abba Lin
Hi BethShelby, what a great poem, the words, the message, the flow, the rhyme, the heartache, all was so intense.. Thank you for sharing, so well written...Love Lin..I felt the saddness...
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Hi BethShelby, what a great poem, the words, the message, the flow, the rhyme, the heartache, all was so intense.. Thank you for sharing, so well written...Love Lin..I felt the saddness...
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thank you Lin. I appreciate the review and you delightful comments.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
Beth, your sonnet has excellent structure, iambic meter and strong rhymes, and it uses the extended metaphor of the book extremely effectively. This is such a beautiful sonnet of tribute to a friend who has now departed this life after a long and wonderful relationship with the speaker. Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Beth, your sonnet has excellent structure, iambic meter and strong rhymes, and it uses the extended metaphor of the book extremely effectively. This is such a beautiful sonnet of tribute to a friend who has now departed this life after a long and wonderful relationship with the speaker. Brooke
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thank you Brooke, Most of my poems are quatrains so I'm glad I did this sonnet correctly. I appreciate the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi BethShelby
I read this sonnet and found it touching. It was a good poem to read as I finished my final touches of a couple stories I had floating in my mind... captured the mood I was in with a bunch of sad ends, and farewells. This flowed well to me. I enjoyed.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Hi BethShelby
I read this sonnet and found it touching. It was a good poem to read as I finished my final touches of a couple stories I had floating in my mind... captured the mood I was in with a bunch of sad ends, and farewells. This flowed well to me. I enjoyed.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Turtlestage, thanks for dropping by. I read you story and loved it. I appreciate your review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from amada
This is a nice and soft poem on "to read the final line." Lovely to read and to think about it even when it's on the sad side. Death is always such a difficult time.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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This is a nice and soft poem on "to read the final line." Lovely to read and to think about it even when it's on the sad side. Death is always such a difficult time.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thank you Amada, I appreciat the review and the nice comments.
Beth
Comment from zydecosal
Another very touching and excellently written poem. Sonnets are more difficult and take more time, and you did a great job. Congradulations.
Sally
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Another very touching and excellently written poem. Sonnets are more difficult and take more time, and you did a great job. Congradulations.
Sally
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Sally, Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I'm glad you liked my sonnet.
Beth