A Bad Decision
Trying to save her house, Jill makes a mistake.20 total reviews
Comment from OldVet
An act of desperation gone awry. Very appropriate story for our times.
One suggestion:
"Don't say anything[;] I'll call our lawyer."
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
  |
An act of desperation gone awry. Very appropriate story for our times.
One suggestion:
"Don't say anything[;] I'll call our lawyer."
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
-
Thanks OldVet. I didn't catch that one. - Thesis
Comment from pilarblue
This is a sad story. I'm sure there are many having trouble with ethics and morals during these tough financial times. Great story, Thesis. And I difinitely agree, she made a mistake. Now she'll have a home, but her family won't. Hers will have bars. LOL.
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
|
This is a sad story. I'm sure there are many having trouble with ethics and morals during these tough financial times. Great story, Thesis. And I difinitely agree, she made a mistake. Now she'll have a home, but her family won't. Hers will have bars. LOL.
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
-
You're right Pilar. Bad choice on her part. A sign of the times. - Thesis
Comment from creativewriterUK
I think this was excellently written. It was a great concept for the contest entry, it should do well. It says so much and I would consider continuing it at some stage and turn it into a good lengthy story. Give it some thought... Keith.
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
|
I think this was excellently written. It was a great concept for the contest entry, it should do well. It says so much and I would consider continuing it at some stage and turn it into a good lengthy story. Give it some thought... Keith.
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
-
Thanks for your encouragement Keith. It is really a sad situation. - Thesis
-
You are very welcome, keep up the good work and never stop. There is an old saying that goes, "The only guaranteed way to fail, is to stop trying." ... Never give in, ever.. Keith.
Comment from amada
This is a sad and very up to date story. Jill is paying a high price to keep the house. Very well written because it has all the elments of a great story.
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
|
This is a sad and very up to date story. Jill is paying a high price to keep the house. Very well written because it has all the elments of a great story.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
-
Thank you amanda. I appreciate your comments. - Thesis
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
I wonder how many people are contemplating that right now. I enjoyed this very much. It had a beginning middle and ending, just as a story should. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
I wonder how many people are contemplating that right now. I enjoyed this very much. It had a beginning middle and ending, just as a story should. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Thanks El Gato. I thought of the same thing as I wrote it. People are in a bad way. It's unfortunate. - Thesis
Comment from Diversion
Good job. Great use of dialogue to tell a story in a small package. Meets all the criteria of the contest. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
Good job. Great use of dialogue to tell a story in a small package. Meets all the criteria of the contest. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Thank you Diversion. I'm glad you enjoyed it. - Thesis
Comment from lola29
You have written about the stark reality of today's collapsing economy and what is probably happening throughout the country. Despair causes knee-jerk reactions. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
You have written about the stark reality of today's collapsing economy and what is probably happening throughout the country. Despair causes knee-jerk reactions. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Thanks Lola. I thought I would try reality. Nothing else seems to be working in the contests. - Thesis
-
I so know what you are talking about.
Comment from NightWriter
Wow! Talk about suspense. "A Bad Decision" is dripping with suspense. Fast paced and totally captivating, this is a well written short story. Bravo!
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
Wow! Talk about suspense. "A Bad Decision" is dripping with suspense. Fast paced and totally captivating, this is a well written short story. Bravo!
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Thanks Night. I'm glad you liked it. - Thesis
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Thesis, this really gets a story off with a bang. This ought to grab almost anybody's attention and hold it. You surely have met the criteria for the "100 Word Dash" entry, with some to spare. This is first rate suspense and dramatic action with good dialogue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
Thesis, this really gets a story off with a bang. This ought to grab almost anybody's attention and hold it. You surely have met the criteria for the "100 Word Dash" entry, with some to spare. This is first rate suspense and dramatic action with good dialogue.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Thanks stunbly. I'm glad it had that impact for you. - Thesis
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
packs a lot in the 100 words. Shows the desperation this couple is going through.
Fourteen Thousand Dollars (wasn't sure why you capitalized this)
~ Rhein
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
|
packs a lot in the 100 words. Shows the desperation this couple is going through.
Fourteen Thousand Dollars (wasn't sure why you capitalized this)
~ Rhein
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
Hi Rhine. I screwed up, LOL. I changed it already. Thanks for the catch. - Thesis
