A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Wonder of the Human Mind"Autobiography of abuse
15 total reviews
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
This is very creepy indeed. How dreadful to have missed chunks out and lost time like that. Only error I noticed was a typo - "Interestingly, no (mo) one ever commented....." Very descriptive. Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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This is very creepy indeed. How dreadful to have missed chunks out and lost time like that. Only error I noticed was a typo - "Interestingly, no (mo) one ever commented....." Very descriptive. Good job.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Creepy is a good description for what I learned to call "my gaps in time".
Comment from utopian_dream_x
Your descriptions in this piece of writing are very vivid and well written. I enjoyed the read very much! And there is no spag.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Your descriptions in this piece of writing are very vivid and well written. I enjoyed the read very much! And there is no spag.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I am working very hard on my spag issues...I'm not the best and it is a challenge. Again, thank you.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A good piece of descriptive writing.
felt a sharp(,) piercing pain
tiny cracks began to appear(,) spreading
center of the chair. The chair continued
As you?ve just mentioned the chair, you could simply use?
It continued?
holding again(,) sending a second
(You are day dreaming again," Sister Sarah said accusingly.
(
("I don't know why you bother coming to school."
These two lines need closing up.
Interestingly, mo one ever
-----------------no one
Regards,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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A good piece of descriptive writing.
felt a sharp(,) piercing pain
tiny cracks began to appear(,) spreading
center of the chair. The chair continued
As you?ve just mentioned the chair, you could simply use?
It continued?
holding again(,) sending a second
(You are day dreaming again," Sister Sarah said accusingly.
(
("I don't know why you bother coming to school."
These two lines need closing up.
Interestingly, mo one ever
-----------------no one
Regards,
Margaret.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I will address the points you mention and appreciate the kind words.
Comment from Firefly54
"Not knowing why it happened and never knowing when my memory losses would occurred," occurred should be occur
"Interestingly, mo one ever commented" mo should be no
A disturbing piece of writing, well written. Well done!
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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"Not knowing why it happened and never knowing when my memory losses would occurred," occurred should be occur
"Interestingly, mo one ever commented" mo should be no
A disturbing piece of writing, well written. Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Your comments and suggestions are well received and appreciated. Again, thank you.
Comment from laurelp
Interestingly, mo one ever - s/b no one
That was the only error I saw. I also now sadly no what is happening in the story. Since this says it is non fiction, my heart feels sad that you have gone through this terror.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Interestingly, mo one ever - s/b no one
That was the only error I saw. I also now sadly no what is happening in the story. Since this says it is non fiction, my heart feels sad that you have gone through this terror.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate your comments and yes, it is a true story.