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Reflections For The New Day

Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Dying Daisies And Trampled Hearts"


16 total reviews 
Comment from GerryMacNeil
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Good for you, Jewell! I am proud of you for standing up and saying, "That's enough!" I like your note, and I think you would have gotten a whole lot of satisfaction out of forcing a rhyme with "pluck"! Just one note on word usage:

"resorted to stop crying"--I suspect you mean "resolved to stop cryiing". "Resorted" is what is called a transitive verb, and is usually followed by "to" and a verb ending in "ing" like "lying"

Good show, m'dear! Gerry

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 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Oh you are so thmart! thanks for the suggestion.
Comment from Judian James
Excellent
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I like it Jewell, but I'm sorry to read it. Better times are coming and so are better men! This is very well written on that famous Daisy theme. You brought a new voice. well done

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Thanks Jude. It's workable but he's not willing to work.
Comment from Adam Smith
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Hey, the flower in the picture looks a little bit like your hair! LOL (Beautiful, I mean).

This is really good and I really think you have a very strong message here. You must have enough meaningful and helpful pieces to put a book together by now. You have terrific insights and you express them in such a way as to be immediately recognizable by your voice, and to be easily understood without too much effort, but without a lack of poetic flair.

That was a mouthful. My fingers are numb from typing it.

I loved the use of "dame;" a word I thought long since dead.

Adam

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Thanks Adam. Your words are encouraging, since I really didn't think much of this poem Just threw it out there. I appreciate you.
Comment from Writer191
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Oh my...and to wonder how any man could resist you! Very nice. I enjoy the rhythm of this, and I love the anology to the daisy. I might replace 'childhood' with 'childish', but that's just me. As usual, I can easily enjoy and relate to your style.
Jim

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Oooh I like replacing childhood with childish! Thanks for the suggestion and the kind compliments. It's my fiesty red headed flair he can't handle. Oh well.
Comment from madhilde
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Hi Visionary,

Nice job! I really enjoyed reading this poem. You've chosen great words, and paid a lot of attention to rhythm and rhyme. I wouldn't ask you to change a single thing.

Mad

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Thanks Mad
Comment from Wendyanne
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Hi Jewell. This is a very well written piece of rhyming poetry. I enjoyed your imagery very much, eg, when my heart became the petal That was plucked ot piece by piece. Excellent

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 Comment Written 22-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2008
    Thanks Wendyanne!