The Nights of Castle Fair
Multiple Tetractys: Recalling Childhood Summer48 total reviews
Comment from Alice Farnsworth
Super story!, MrsKT ! And well told. The repetition worked well as a device to unite beginning and ending. I remember when my brother and I used to build "forts" in the bush with our friends. We had great times and the summers seemed to go on forever. Wonderful times in our lives. Thank you for bringing that back for a moment. Alice Oh and good luck in the contest!
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Super story!, MrsKT ! And well told. The repetition worked well as a device to unite beginning and ending. I remember when my brother and I used to build "forts" in the bush with our friends. We had great times and the summers seemed to go on forever. Wonderful times in our lives. Thank you for bringing that back for a moment. Alice Oh and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
Comment from Gwynn
This was a well structured poem with a smooth flow. Your descriptions were awsome and I thought the use of the beginning to end the poem was wonderful.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem :-)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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This was a well structured poem with a smooth flow. Your descriptions were awsome and I thought the use of the beginning to end the poem was wonderful.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem :-)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Thank you Ricouard for your wonderful review and appreciation of my verse...diane
Comment from Oatmeal
Mrs. KT,
This prose reminded me of my younger days too. We would camp out in the backyard and sleep on the trampoline. We just loved the trampoline. It was one of those round ones. It was ours when we stayed in a home that my dentist and his family owned.
Those were the good ole days when my parents were still together. They ended up splitting up when I was 17 years old. It was a horrible, horrible time. There were private Investigators investigating private investigators. There was a wire tap on our home phone. They found out all about me and I wasn't going to tell anyone.
The flow was smooth. The characters in your poem were very lovable. I am glad to hear that you are still friends. Most of my friends from back then have died.
There was no SPAG. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Mrs. KT,
This prose reminded me of my younger days too. We would camp out in the backyard and sleep on the trampoline. We just loved the trampoline. It was one of those round ones. It was ours when we stayed in a home that my dentist and his family owned.
Those were the good ole days when my parents were still together. They ended up splitting up when I was 17 years old. It was a horrible, horrible time. There were private Investigators investigating private investigators. There was a wire tap on our home phone. They found out all about me and I wasn't going to tell anyone.
The flow was smooth. The characters in your poem were very lovable. I am glad to hear that you are still friends. Most of my friends from back then have died.
There was no SPAG. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Oh Oatmeal...what a tragedy you survived! I hope you have been able to pen some of it to release it...One of the "Smith kids" passed away this December...my best friend, Laurie...she fought leukemia for twenty years...I hope to write a tribute to her soon...when I can...diane
Comment from Martie
Hi Diane
How delightful. The poem felt way to free to have such a complicated structure. I loved reading this as it brought back some of those same kinds of summer memories that you had. I'll bet everyone that replies to this has found something of thier own past within it. That makes it pretty special. Thanks!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hi Diane
How delightful. The poem felt way to free to have such a complicated structure. I loved reading this as it brought back some of those same kinds of summer memories that you had. I'll bet everyone that replies to this has found something of thier own past within it. That makes it pretty special. Thanks!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hello Flower-loving Friend! Thank you so much for your lovely review. Most everyone has enjoyed my offering, but two fellow reviewers found fault with the verb tense usage and the tetractys format - too much prose to be poetic???? I'm a little saddened, but, well...so it goes...Be well...diane
Comment from Pit Bull Mom
Cute Summertime poem you've put together here, Mrs. KT. I like the Tetractys format, but I'm used to seeing it centered. Is there a reason you chose not to?
Only one note:
First "Castle Fair" doesn't really need quotations around it.
Best regards, and good luck in the contest.
Heather
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Cute Summertime poem you've put together here, Mrs. KT. I like the Tetractys format, but I'm used to seeing it centered. Is there a reason you chose not to?
Only one note:
First "Castle Fair" doesn't really need quotations around it.
Best regards, and good luck in the contest.
Heather
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hi Heather: Just experimenting with the format. Sometimes the center alignment can be a little distracting, and since it was a poem about children, I just went with the left side alignment while keeping the syllabic count. Anyway...great times and wonderful memories...diane
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Heather! Went back and center-aligned my offering. I do believe it works just fine this way...diane
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Ohhhh! I went back and checked it out and I REALLY like it that way. There's so many of them it looks really neat. Good job! (Not that it looked bad before, but presentation wise this grabs the reader!) Nicely done!
Heather
Comment from TrueBeliever
Hello Diane, interesting write here. Loved the display and creative arrangement. Love the story content. But this read more like prose than poetry. Since I notice you like this style, thought I'd send you a link to the competition, has a nice
prize: ttp://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Ray_Stebbing/rtetractys.htm#3
Tetractyses by Ray Stebbing, magazine, Westwords
What is a tetractys?
Searching one day in the Oxford English Dictionary, I came across an unfamiliar word - 'tetractys'. It seems that Euclid, the mathematician of classical times, considered the number series 1,2,3,4 to have mystical significance because its sum is 10, so he dignified it with a name of its own - Tetractys. This gave me an idea for a new form of syllabic verse consisting of five lines, the first of which contains a single syllable, the second two, the third three, the fourth four and the last ten syllables. What better name could I give it than 'Tetractys'?
Fat Man Walking
Bulk
teeters
gracefully
on tiny feet -
as any ballerina, light and neat
Turn the tetractys on its head and you get the reverse tectractys:
As windblown, random, as subject to chance,
our short days drift
- on thin threads
helpless
dance
Anyway Great job, Much love, Ondra
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hello Diane, interesting write here. Loved the display and creative arrangement. Love the story content. But this read more like prose than poetry. Since I notice you like this style, thought I'd send you a link to the competition, has a nice
prize: ttp://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Ray_Stebbing/rtetractys.htm#3
Tetractyses by Ray Stebbing, magazine, Westwords
What is a tetractys?
Searching one day in the Oxford English Dictionary, I came across an unfamiliar word - 'tetractys'. It seems that Euclid, the mathematician of classical times, considered the number series 1,2,3,4 to have mystical significance because its sum is 10, so he dignified it with a name of its own - Tetractys. This gave me an idea for a new form of syllabic verse consisting of five lines, the first of which contains a single syllable, the second two, the third three, the fourth four and the last ten syllables. What better name could I give it than 'Tetractys'?
Fat Man Walking
Bulk
teeters
gracefully
on tiny feet -
as any ballerina, light and neat
Turn the tetractys on its head and you get the reverse tectractys:
As windblown, random, as subject to chance,
our short days drift
- on thin threads
helpless
dance
Anyway Great job, Much love, Ondra
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hello Ondra: The tetractys is meant - aside from its syllabic format - to express a complete thought. It does not have to rhyme- as in the examples you shared. Therin is the reason is appears more proselike than poetic - yet in this format - one can readily see that many words are omitted in order to create a poetic feeling. The format lends itself to telling a poetic story. If you were to read my offering aloud, I do believe you would find that it is rhythmic and has cadence. Thank you for stopping by - I do wish you had enjoyed more than you did...diane
Comment from rhymerfortyniner
What a wonderful story! I remember similar escapades as a child, and all the innocent fun that goes along with it. Very well written, with excellent imagery and perfect syllabic count. A joy to read. Blessings, Verna
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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What a wonderful story! I remember similar escapades as a child, and all the innocent fun that goes along with it. Very well written, with excellent imagery and perfect syllabic count. A joy to read. Blessings, Verna
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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So pleased you enjoyed my offering, Verna. Take Care! diane
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You're very welcome. Verna
Comment from MEO
I really enjoyed this piece. I especially liked the story it told and the description of the lilacs ect. My favorite part was the last stanza. Good job
~Meo
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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I really enjoyed this piece. I especially liked the story it told and the description of the lilacs ect. My favorite part was the last stanza. Good job
~Meo
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hello! So pleased you dropped by for a visit and enjoyed your stay. Thank you for your kind review...diane
Comment from volunteer angel
I loved the story of childhood days and castles and forts to play in. I could just picture the boys chasing the girls and the girls getting even. The cemetery also made the story interesting. Your multiple tetractys worked out well. Great job! V.A.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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I loved the story of childhood days and castles and forts to play in. I could just picture the boys chasing the girls and the girls getting even. The cemetery also made the story interesting. Your multiple tetractys worked out well. Great job! V.A.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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So pleased you enjoyed my offering. Wonderful memories...diane
Comment from Aleksandramarie
ah, yes, we had the most magnificent forts...
cool and breezy made with old window screens..
such simple play you never see these days,
I do have a niece, who lives out in the country and
her kids play outside all day...and are charming
creatures, with out the dull television eyes and the
twisted thumbs of game players..
simpler times captured in your glorious verse.
smiles and thanks, msp
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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ah, yes, we had the most magnificent forts...
cool and breezy made with old window screens..
such simple play you never see these days,
I do have a niece, who lives out in the country and
her kids play outside all day...and are charming
creatures, with out the dull television eyes and the
twisted thumbs of game players..
simpler times captured in your glorious verse.
smiles and thanks, msp
Comment Written 24-Jul-2007
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2007
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Hello Friend! So pleased you enjoyed my verse. Such wonderful memories...diane