Comment from rhymer1

Excellent

I expected a turn of phrase here with "Loving to Live" slipping in. But a touch of humor was clearly not your goal here so I forgive you. I'm going to give you a five here because you are using contemporary language acceptable to most fanstorians. However, when this old fart reads "I would hope it would be loving" he cringes and thinks "when would you hope it. Also, the double "would" compounds my cringe.
Cheers, rhymer1

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2007

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

Sometimes the contemporary language is what will be grasped and I felt the message important enough to throw it down simply. (We all have our moments.)Now, I'll try to write it with broader vocabulary and see if you approve, K? I'm up for the challenge.

"and now abides, faith, hope and love. The greatest of these is love."
This is more than romance.
Think again and please please I hope your cringe goes away.
Love your honest reveiws. Jj

reply by rhymer1 on 21-Jan-2007

And I love the contributorwho loves honest comment from a reviewer. cheers, rhymer1

Comment from KalleeMerra

Excellent

Nicely done. Now, if only...
I wonder: are you an existentialist? Or a romantic aware, too aware of the brevity of it all?
thank you for sharing.
blessings,
Kallee Merra

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2007

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

..."and the greatest of these is love..."

Comment from HealingMuse

Excellent

Hi Inner Sanctum,

What a lovely and poignant piece you've crafted here! WOW! :)

Gee - I tried to select my favorite verses -- and narrowed it down to 95% of the poem (g):

As if love
Could be lost
And life too brief

To imagine
Knowing love
Could be only
Temporary
Because our life
Won't last forever

How would
We choose to live

This just says so so so so so much that we should all consider each day -- every moment! :)

Thank you for sharing this great work with us all,

WRITE ON!

Jan HealingMuse
PS - I'm putting together a couple of poetry contests that might interest you - be on the lookout Mon or Tuesday... :D

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 Comment Written 21-Jan-2007

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

Hi, this is just a little ditty in my thoughts today. Glad you liked it, simple even.
Check out my other work? Hope you're not dissapointed.

reply by HealingMuse on 21-Jan-2007

Hi Inner Sanctum,

 

Yes -- I can imagine as skilled as you obviously are that this just manifested -- probably rather quickly -- through you.

Had my "Circumambulation" not come in that sort of way, I might never even realize this... 

I've been so busy fielding reviews on my first 2 poems, I haven't had much of an opportunity to review much today, but I am looking forward to reading more of your work, for SURE !:)

Thanks,

 

Jan HealingMuse 

Comment from Grandniem

Excellent

LOvely poem!! A message that all should heed and take stock in!! The format is very nice, and the flow went smoothly along!! A really nice write!! Blessings, Grandniem

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 Comment Written 21-Jan-2007

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

Why thank you Grandniem.