Reviews from

On a Bench by the Sea

Dialogue-only contest entry

18 total reviews 
Comment from Jim Wile
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, God, Jess. This was so good. It brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. Such a sweet story about a girl and her father who's suffering from dementia. I read this to my wife, and the tears were streaming down her face as I got to the end.

This was so well crafted, that I didn't catch on until pretty late that she was talking to her daddy. I just loved the feelings and emotions you brought to this story. I could picture this being made into a movie--a real tear-jerker of one.

I just loved it.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
    That means so much to me, Jim, thank you! Please tell Elise I am honored.
    Xoxo
    Jess
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very well written dialogue. Only entry for the dialogue only contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May you have a wonderful day. May you have a very merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous new year. Patricia.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
    Thanks so much, Patricia!
Comment from June Sargent
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a powerful testament to a love between a husband a wife and between a daughter and her parents - a love that transcends the ugliness of cancer and Alzheimer's. This story is a winner - because we can all relate to the dialogue. Well done!

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2024
    June, thank you so much for your kind words. Xoxo
Comment from Sanku
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautiful story, deeply resonating within the readers soul. It flows smoothly in the begining ,then some doubt creeps in the mind of the reader ,a shadow, of something sad ! Just as the father cared for the daughter the daughter is caring for him...Very touching ..It touched my soul..

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2024
    That means the world to me. Thank you!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

We know with your writing, Jess, there is always something much deeper than simply the words on the page, something much more spiritual. In this case, this is a conversation that starts off, seemingly, between two strangers and then concludes as two very much related, albeit in different time zones (on account of the father's confused condition). While he is still living in the past, traumatised by his wife's worsening disease and the consequences for their daughter, she turns out to be the adult version of his daughter who is patiently and lovingly trying to offer him comfort and reassurance. The backdrop of the house with the white balcony is symbolically resonant, bonding these three (including the deceased mother) forever together while presenting an enduring image of beauty and contentment. Thank you for sharing your well-crafted and charming read. Jess. Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2024
    Thank you, my dear friend. Means the world!!
    Xo
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Having a loving wife , and who is a very upright and faithful woman who has many friends, and two daughters who are in the image of their mother, all first class wives and mothers, i so relate to this so relatable story, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2024
    Thank you so much, Roy. Xo
reply by royowen on 27-Dec-2024
    Welcome Jessica
Comment from Peter Jarvis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"On a Bench by the Sea" is a deeply moving and beautifully crafted dialogue-only piece that captures the essence of human connection, memory, and love. The conversation between the characters flows naturally and reveals profound emotions and personal histories without needing any narrative exposition.

The simplicity of the setting--a bench by the sea--serves as a perfect backdrop for this poignant exchange. The dialogue is heartfelt and authentic, drawing the reader into the intimate moments shared by the characters. The revelation of the father's confusion and the daughter's compassionate reassurance is both touching and powerful, highlighting the enduring bond between them.

The piece masterfully balances themes of love, loss, and resilience, making it resonate deeply with readers. The subtle hints about the father's condition and the daughter's unwavering support add layers of depth to the story, making it a truly exceptional entry for the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2024
    I genuinely appreciate it. Thank you!
reply by Peter Jarvis on 27-Dec-2024
    Take care
Comment from Lana Marie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


What a beautiful dialogue story. Very touching when you realize that it's a daughter and her dad. This reminds me so much of the Notebook movie.
I noticed this sentence below that the first few letters didn't get highlighted when you chose a bigger font. It won't show on my review, but you'll see it on your story when you go to edit it

(Yes. You see, he lost the...)

Also on this line, there's a missing word..
. I will be here, just as(.)were for me.

Good luck in the contest



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
    Lana, I appreciate this so much. Thank you for your kind words and catch. I made those edits.
    Xoxo