2024 Gypsy's Prose
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "* The Nightmare *".
13 total reviews
Comment from shelley kaye
creepy!! this was a great story well told!
very descriptive and emotional
felt so real!
nice work!! thank you for sharing!
shelley :)
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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creepy!! this was a great story well told!
very descriptive and emotional
felt so real!
nice work!! thank you for sharing!
shelley :)
......................................................
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Shelley 😊
gypsy hugs
Comment from Julie Helms
A very creepy story indeed. Something about the combination of the mental issues and the supernatural experience heightens the horror of the whole thing.
I have some suggestions for you:
this time was the last drop.
(Possibly: this time was the last straw.)
Her clothes, if you can call it that,
(...if you can call them that)
When I was little a daying dog had
(When I was little, a dying dog...)
After, that I passed out.
(After that, I passed out.)
happy to realize she had a horrible nightmare.
(...she had been a horrible nightmare OR
....I had a horrible nightmare)
A great entry for the club and contest. Well done!
Julie
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
|
A very creepy story indeed. Something about the combination of the mental issues and the supernatural experience heightens the horror of the whole thing.
I have some suggestions for you:
this time was the last drop.
(Possibly: this time was the last straw.)
Her clothes, if you can call it that,
(...if you can call them that)
When I was little a daying dog had
(When I was little, a dying dog...)
After, that I passed out.
(After that, I passed out.)
happy to realize she had a horrible nightmare.
(...she had been a horrible nightmare OR
....I had a horrible nightmare)
A great entry for the club and contest. Well done!
Julie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Julie, I appreciate your detailed and helpful review. I made all the changes. I hope you have a wonderful evening.
Gypsy hugs
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Thank you, Gypsy! I forgot to mention that I love the painting you chose. Creepiest painting ever!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oy vey!! How can the most artistic and beauty-centric poet on this site turn around and write this EPIC horror story??? Well, I guess the answer is: Because she's good at every last facet of writing; that's why!!
This was chilling and so REAL and terrifying! This is nothing short of brilliant, Gypsy! You are GOING to win this Horror Writing Contest. There is not one scintilla of doubt in my mind!
One teeny spag: I felt relieved and almost happy to realize she had [BEEN] a horrible nightmare.
Good luck in the polls - NOT that you need it!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Oy vey!! How can the most artistic and beauty-centric poet on this site turn around and write this EPIC horror story??? Well, I guess the answer is: Because she's good at every last facet of writing; that's why!!
This was chilling and so REAL and terrifying! This is nothing short of brilliant, Gypsy! You are GOING to win this Horror Writing Contest. There is not one scintilla of doubt in my mind!
One teeny spag: I felt relieved and almost happy to realize she had [BEEN] a horrible nightmare.
Good luck in the polls - NOT that you need it!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Wow, Rachelle, what an exceptional and encouraging review! I appreciate it, especially coming from such an excellent author as you. I corrected that spag, thank you!
May you have a wonderful evening.
Gypsy hugs
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My pleasure!! xoxo You amaze me, Gypsy.