Coming Home
a poem23 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Nowhere... that's where she belongs, for such is what she chose. OMG, Bill, the height of betrayal defined here is truly unimaginable (though, of course, it seems that 'tis real...). A more than worthy entry for this contest, sir -- written with an opening that draws in and a 'pulling' emotion that holds throughout... and that final line? Yeah, definitely seals the deal. And I know the pain may fade with time but the betrayal itself never shall... as so beautifully presented here.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Nowhere... that's where she belongs, for such is what she chose. OMG, Bill, the height of betrayal defined here is truly unimaginable (though, of course, it seems that 'tis real...). A more than worthy entry for this contest, sir -- written with an opening that draws in and a 'pulling' emotion that holds throughout... and that final line? Yeah, definitely seals the deal. And I know the pain may fade with time but the betrayal itself never shall... as so beautifully presented here.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Yvette. It was a dark time for sure.
Comment from BethShelby
This definitely sound like betrayal. I hope it is a fictional poem because it sounds like no one should have to endure such a betrayal after already apparently enduring and another kind if hell like digging bodies from rubble.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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This definitely sound like betrayal. I hope it is a fictional poem because it sounds like no one should have to endure such a betrayal after already apparently enduring and another kind if hell like digging bodies from rubble.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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My life in a darker time.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Wow! that is a change in personality. It is quite good. It is slightly choppy but still packed with immense feeling and despair, longing and confusion. Do we always understand our partners? Nope. Good work. Karen
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Wow! that is a change in personality. It is quite good. It is slightly choppy but still packed with immense feeling and despair, longing and confusion. Do we always understand our partners? Nope. Good work. Karen
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Still don't understand it.
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I have survived hideous mean people and still do not fathom how they can exist in this world with normal acting humans. We go on and live our best life. :-) Karen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is quite a traumatic story and relationships are often strained and put under pressure when there is betrayal. As time goes by we look back and wonder where did all the time go and where do we belong now, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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This is quite a traumatic story and relationships are often strained and put under pressure when there is betrayal. As time goes by we look back and wonder where did all the time go and where do we belong now, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Fortunately, we all lived through it.
Comment from Julie Helms
This is completely heartwrenching. You've done a wonderful job conveying the feeling of abandonment and betrayal through the words of your poem.
One spelling fix:
I waited with baited breath -
(bated breath--this is a really common one to get wrong)
Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Julie
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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This is completely heartwrenching. You've done a wonderful job conveying the feeling of abandonment and betrayal through the words of your poem.
One spelling fix:
I waited with baited breath -
(bated breath--this is a really common one to get wrong)
Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Julie
Comment Written 27-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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I guess fish have "baited" breath.
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Haha!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Have never read this side of your poetry before, Bill. Heartbreakingly beautiful. Difficult to read thinking of your hurt. Perfect poem for the Betrayal contest. good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Have never read this side of your poetry before, Bill. Heartbreakingly beautiful. Difficult to read thinking of your hurt. Perfect poem for the Betrayal contest. good luck.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Marilyn. Difficult to remember as well.
Comment from lyenochka
Just for this content of real life betrayal, you should win. I cannot imagine how devastating it was for you and for your son. I'm so glad he had you and that you met Kathy. What an trial. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Just for this content of real life betrayal, you should win. I cannot imagine how devastating it was for you and for your son. I'm so glad he had you and that you met Kathy. What an trial. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024
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Thank you, Helen. It was rough, I must say.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Whoa. This is stark and seering, bold and quite the riveting read. Pairing it with the photo you did is the perfect cherry on top.
I'm glad Life has brought you to a far better place now. My take on that is that Time is the Great Equalizer. xoxo
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Whoa. This is stark and seering, bold and quite the riveting read. Pairing it with the photo you did is the perfect cherry on top.
I'm glad Life has brought you to a far better place now. My take on that is that Time is the Great Equalizer. xoxo
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Time is many things I guess.
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Spoken like the diplomat you are, Bill!! xo
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
This is a tough poem to read because of the subject. The trail is such an awful thing. Unfortunately, sometimes the betrayal intentionally creates victims. Your writing is somber and is done well. It reaches a sad conclusion.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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This is a tough poem to read because of the subject. The trail is such an awful thing. Unfortunately, sometimes the betrayal intentionally creates victims. Your writing is somber and is done well. It reaches a sad conclusion.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Straight from the heart, Brother.
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You're welcome friend
Comment from nomi338
In the place reserved for refuse. As a person of value with values, you must never dig around in trash, lest some trash gets on you and dirties up your cleanness, you neat and completeness. Let her go and let her stay wherever she may be. Mainly in the past.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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In the place reserved for refuse. As a person of value with values, you must never dig around in trash, lest some trash gets on you and dirties up your cleanness, you neat and completeness. Let her go and let her stay wherever she may be. Mainly in the past.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Thanks, nomi