Autumn Slumber
Loop Poetry27 total reviews
Comment from gansach
This is a beautiful entry for the Loop Poem competition. I haven't tried writing in this style yet and I find it so interesting. Your poem has a natural flow to it without forcing the repetition so it sounds choppy. And it's a lovely presentation. Well done!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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This is a beautiful entry for the Loop Poem competition. I haven't tried writing in this style yet and I find it so interesting. Your poem has a natural flow to it without forcing the repetition so it sounds choppy. And it's a lovely presentation. Well done!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you for your lovely review. I so appreciate your comments!
Melissa
Comment from Begin Again
Forgive me, but a poet I am not...and there are so many ways of writing that I would be lost.... but that would be okay if it was nestled in your picture and lost within your words. such a cozy place to be on a rainy day.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Forgive me, but a poet I am not...and there are so many ways of writing that I would be lost.... but that would be okay if it was nestled in your picture and lost within your words. such a cozy place to be on a rainy day.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Hello Carol. Thanks for your lovely words. I am looking forward to those cozy nights in the autumn :).
Melissa
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My late husband and I always liked to sit by the fireplace and cozy up together. I love the fall colors, but I also know winter isn't far behind. Brrr....
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a beautiful poem about a lazy and rainy day. The weather finally cools off. The dazzling autumn color along with the quiet melody of wind chime puts one to sleep.
Your description is very accurate even though it will never happen to me. I will be out there rowing, hiking and biking.
Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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What a beautiful poem about a lazy and rainy day. The weather finally cools off. The dazzling autumn color along with the quiet melody of wind chime puts one to sleep.
Your description is very accurate even though it will never happen to me. I will be out there rowing, hiking and biking.
Well done.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Hey there Lisa. Thanks bunches for your wonderful review. Glad your liked the cozy descriptions! Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Debbie Pope
I am so impressed, Melissa. I vowed some time ago to never write another loop. Mine sound stilted. I read this one aloud and it flows beautifully. I noted that you sometimes change the part of speech of the repeat word. That seemed to help in the fluidity of the mood.
Guess this is how you do it. It is beautiful.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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I am so impressed, Melissa. I vowed some time ago to never write another loop. Mine sound stilted. I read this one aloud and it flows beautifully. I noted that you sometimes change the part of speech of the repeat word. That seemed to help in the fluidity of the mood.
Guess this is how you do it. It is beautiful.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Hello Debbie. Thanks so very much. I do use the same word in an altered form when I need to reinforce the mood. Thanks for noticing. Loop forms can be tricky. I tried to write this one using meter and rhyme, but the meter faltered a time or two. I'm glad it's not a requirement at all times ;). Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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I think your stylistic efforts gave the reader something to concentrate on instead of the repeat words. That was helpful.
Comment from jessizero
I think this was a great piece of loop poetry. You did a great job with the format, and I also liked that you used rhyme in this poem. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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I think this was a great piece of loop poetry. You did a great job with the format, and I also liked that you used rhyme in this poem. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much Jess! I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :).
Melissa
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh what an image! I love my bed but that one looks even better! You've captured the snugness and security of your "cosy world" so beautifully. And this is made the more palpable because of the gentle rainfall outside (I like the way you stress "gentle" as anything more pounding wouldn't be quite so comforting or musical!) The last stanza provides an excellent summation, bringing all those elements together and weaving them into sleep. Well done on this difficult challenge, Melissa! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Oh what an image! I love my bed but that one looks even better! You've captured the snugness and security of your "cosy world" so beautifully. And this is made the more palpable because of the gentle rainfall outside (I like the way you stress "gentle" as anything more pounding wouldn't be quite so comforting or musical!) The last stanza provides an excellent summation, bringing all those elements together and weaving them into sleep. Well done on this difficult challenge, Melissa! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Debbie, thank you very much I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :).
Melissa
Comment from Katiemae1977
Hi Melissa,
You are very brave to even tackle this form of poetry in the first place. Your is the best one I've read so far.
I love your topic and your loops are effective and and don't sound too forced which is very hard to do here.
Good luck and take care!
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Hi Melissa,
You are very brave to even tackle this form of poetry in the first place. Your is the best one I've read so far.
I love your topic and your loops are effective and and don't sound too forced which is very hard to do here.
Good luck and take care!
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much Katie! I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :).
Melissa
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation, Melissa.
-You have written a very good loop poem
with effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also create a vivid word picture of autumn.
-A very good opening verse sets a peaceful mood
even though there is a blustery wind and rain outside.
-A very good concluding verse with the theme
of melodies that will lull us to sleep.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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-Very nice image and presentation, Melissa.
-You have written a very good loop poem
with effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also create a vivid word picture of autumn.
-A very good opening verse sets a peaceful mood
even though there is a blustery wind and rain outside.
-A very good concluding verse with the theme
of melodies that will lull us to sleep.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Hello and good morning, Pam. Thank you very much! I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :).
Melissa
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You are very welcome, Melissa. You did a great job setting the mood.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
It's hard to imagine all the different forms of poetry, and causes me to wonder what egged the originator to create a piece as The Loop. Perhaps, I should try, but likely won't. It seems I am ready to hobernate.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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It's hard to imagine all the different forms of poetry, and causes me to wonder what egged the originator to create a piece as The Loop. Perhaps, I should try, but likely won't. It seems I am ready to hobernate.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much Tom! I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :). I hope you do try a Loop form.
Melissa
Comment from royowen
This is a great entry in this contest, this is among the best I've seen, the narrative flows sweetly and the looping is excellent, the them is attention gatherings and the abcb rhyming, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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This is a great entry in this contest, this is among the best I've seen, the narrative flows sweetly and the looping is excellent, the them is attention gatherings and the abcb rhyming, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much Roy! I'm delighted you liked it! It was fun to set the autumn mood with this one :).
Melissa