Doubts (loop poem)
Should I go through with it?15 total reviews
Comment from gansach
This is a great entry for the Loop Poetry competition. The photo is a perfect illustration and your words have an unforced, natural flow. Great rhyming--it's easy to feel the oncoming panic and dread of going through with the wedding and picture the bride kicking off those tight shoes and taking off through the door to escape. Well done!
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This is a great entry for the Loop Poetry competition. The photo is a perfect illustration and your words have an unforced, natural flow. Great rhyming--it's easy to feel the oncoming panic and dread of going through with the wedding and picture the bride kicking off those tight shoes and taking off through the door to escape. Well done!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Many thanks. Jen
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Many thanks. Jen
Comment from lyenochka
This is a great loop poem which tells a story from the viewpoint of a bride with second thoughts! Four stanzas with the looping and rhyming - you nailed it! Hope this does well in the contest!!
Typo:
I don' want to be wed! (don't)
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This is a great loop poem which tells a story from the viewpoint of a bride with second thoughts! Four stanzas with the looping and rhyming - you nailed it! Hope this does well in the contest!!
Typo:
I don' want to be wed! (don't)
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much Helen for the great review and for spotting the typo.
Have a nice day Jen.
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Thanks so much Helen for the great review and for spotting the typo.
Have a nice day Jen.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a double-loop poem that reminds me of a song from "Oliver!" about reviewing the situation until a humorous decision to preserve herself wins out. The title is very appropriate. Nice job with end rhymes.
This line: Me and my groom have also argued,
makes me think the speaker is young and not overly educated.
Good luck in that contest! These forms are a challenge.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This is a double-loop poem that reminds me of a song from "Oliver!" about reviewing the situation until a humorous decision to preserve herself wins out. The title is very appropriate. Nice job with end rhymes.
This line: Me and my groom have also argued,
makes me think the speaker is young and not overly educated.
Good luck in that contest! These forms are a challenge.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Many thanks. Jen
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Many thanks. Jen
Comment from Bill Schott
This loop poem, Doubts, has the proper formatting and and runs through the last thoughts of the bride as she makes the decision that today is not her wedding day after all.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This loop poem, Doubts, has the proper formatting and and runs through the last thoughts of the bride as she makes the decision that today is not her wedding day after all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Many thanks. Jen
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Many thanks. Jen
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This double-loop poem is fun and it tells the truth about a bride who has cold feet. The more she ruminates about the idea of getting married the more she figures out she doesn't want to wed. I love the progression from the first doubts to the decision not to get married. It is full of surprises and it shows us how it feels when a woman is about to wed how she feels. Doubts is the perfect title for this piece. The picture adds to the discovery of the doubtful decision not to wed. Starting with the tight shoes invites the reader to follow through the loop poem to the completion of the thought.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This double-loop poem is fun and it tells the truth about a bride who has cold feet. The more she ruminates about the idea of getting married the more she figures out she doesn't want to wed. I love the progression from the first doubts to the decision not to get married. It is full of surprises and it shows us how it feels when a woman is about to wed how she feels. Doubts is the perfect title for this piece. The picture adds to the discovery of the doubtful decision not to wed. Starting with the tight shoes invites the reader to follow through the loop poem to the completion of the thought.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much. Jen.
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Thank you so much. Jen.