Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Spirited Justice Chap 9"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
16 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
Another interesting chapter. One suggestion: You have often used 'he' or 'his.' It would be good to occasionally insert a character's name, to help the reader track on who is talking with whom. When you change characters within a chapter, it might be good to insert a hint of a reminder of who that character is. I'm thinking something subtle that would identify the person. Maybe it's because I didn't read the last book, but I keep having to check the character list as I read. Or maybe it's early Alzheimer's creeping in! LOL. I'm enjoying your book!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Another interesting chapter. One suggestion: You have often used 'he' or 'his.' It would be good to occasionally insert a character's name, to help the reader track on who is talking with whom. When you change characters within a chapter, it might be good to insert a hint of a reminder of who that character is. I'm thinking something subtle that would identify the person. Maybe it's because I didn't read the last book, but I keep having to check the character list as I read. Or maybe it's early Alzheimer's creeping in! LOL. I'm enjoying your book!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Hello, Carol... In the "thought" section with Angelo, I used he and Naomi because he was thinking and reliving the action in his mind. I'll have to check on why I have not indicated a change in characters. Unusually I try to insert conversation but I might have messed up. Thanks for pointing out to me.
Yes, knowing the characters would help, but I'll try to make it easier by checking out your suggestions. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. As for early Alzheimers...I am probably ahead of you on that one. LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story continues flawlessly in your usual manner. I am really getting into the story now. I hope you write a series of Eleanor stories in the future. Nice work.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Your story continues flawlessly in your usual manner. I am really getting into the story now. I hope you write a series of Eleanor stories in the future. Nice work.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I love her too! She's just a fun person to write about. If this goes over well, I just might continue. Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate it so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm curious exactly what Johan is going to do to Hilda. I do hope Eleanor finds her in time to protect her. I'll have to wait and see.
Johan hesitated before answering. "I've read about -- (answering,)
Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she continued. "He complains about (continued,)
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I'm curious exactly what Johan is going to do to Hilda. I do hope Eleanor finds her in time to protect her. I'll have to wait and see.
Johan hesitated before answering. "I've read about -- (answering,)
Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she continued. "He complains about (continued,)
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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It's going to be a rough ride for a little while... not too much though. Johan wants something and I don't think Hilda will willingly give it to him. But it might be a big clue for Danni and Donatelli. Periods and comma taken care of, of course.
Thanks again.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Jacob1395
I loved the scene showing Hilda and Johan and I could really feel the attraction there was between them, which came through really well in your writing. I thought the tension was done really well in this chapter and you really kept me hooked and invested. An excellent piece, Carol, I enjoyed reading it.
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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I loved the scene showing Hilda and Johan and I could really feel the attraction there was between them, which came through really well in your writing. I thought the tension was done really well in this chapter and you really kept me hooked and invested. An excellent piece, Carol, I enjoyed reading it.
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Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Jacob. I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story. It's about to get a little dark, but then what mystery crime doesn't, right? Thanks for stopping by to read another chapter. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
I enjoyed the interaction between Hilda and Johan and wonder where that is headed. I am curious how you manage to remember information about the characters and the plot, Do you keep a story board or something like that? I've never attempted to write a novel and wouldn't know where to begin.
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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed the interaction between Hilda and Johan and wonder where that is headed. I am curious how you manage to remember information about the characters and the plot, Do you keep a story board or something like that? I've never attempted to write a novel and wouldn't know where to begin.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I'm asked that all the time, but actually I just sit down and imagine where I want the story to go and it comes to me...lucky and definitely blessed. Sometimes I write a few short lines saying where I thinkI am headed for the next few chapters, but when I write I never know for sure where I am headed.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'll be glad when all this traveling is over and I can sit down and get back to regularly reading and enjoying those fabulous minds like yours who put the words on the pages. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I'll be glad when all this traveling is over and I can sit down and get back to regularly reading and enjoying those fabulous minds like yours who put the words on the pages. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Hello, my pal! I was wondering if you were still on the road, but I am thrilled to see you and blessed that you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not sure about the fabulous mind but I am flattered anyhow. Hope you have a great day!
Smiles and hugs, Carol