Mr. Moon
A childhood fear made right19 total reviews
Comment from Shanbreen
Your poem harbors on the fear of the unknown or, say, the fear of our expectations. I can certainly appreciate your fear withe pictorial you have used. =) All the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Your poem harbors on the fear of the unknown or, say, the fear of our expectations. I can certainly appreciate your fear withe pictorial you have used. =) All the best for the contest.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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The picture came from the movie that traumatized me. I chalk the whole thing up to being on some super strong cough syrup and hallucinating.
Thanks again!
Comment from QC Poet
To see a full moon in a clear night would bring the observer more joy than fear is my guess a great entry for this moon contest Good Luck with your entry
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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To see a full moon in a clear night would bring the observer more joy than fear is my guess a great entry for this moon contest Good Luck with your entry
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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I had seen a movie about the moon as a child and saw parts of it as I use to lie on the grass outside and look at the moon. I think the whole thing was just a strong cough syrup hallucination I had as a kid, reliving the movie.
Now I enjoy looking at the moon.
Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Dawn Munro
I loved your poem about the moon although I feel a bit insensitive saying so, since it's a real memory for you (as per your notes). Your meter is wonderful, although to be perfect, "finally" is a hiccup -- one too many syllables, easily solved by abbreviating the word.
I predict that this will be difficult to beat -- good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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I loved your poem about the moon although I feel a bit insensitive saying so, since it's a real memory for you (as per your notes). Your meter is wonderful, although to be perfect, "finally" is a hiccup -- one too many syllables, easily solved by abbreviating the word.
I predict that this will be difficult to beat -- good luck!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thanks so very much Dawn for your kind and lovely comments and review! Thanks for your well wishes too.
Take care and enjoy your weekend!
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You're very welcome. You enjoy yours too!
Comment from SimianSavant
A well constructed and different entry, with some musicality to it. Nice work. A couple small grammar things:
It's beauty decked in ivory shrouds. <= while this could be an abbreviation for "it is", it appears in context to be possessive, so the apostrophe should be eliminated
Mr. should be followed by a period in both instances
If this pic was traumatizing, you should check out the film it came from: "A Trip to the Moon". It's so old that it hasn't got any audio, but it will have you tripping.
Thanks for a great read and good luck in the voting,
🦍
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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A well constructed and different entry, with some musicality to it. Nice work. A couple small grammar things:
It's beauty decked in ivory shrouds. <= while this could be an abbreviation for "it is", it appears in context to be possessive, so the apostrophe should be eliminated
Mr. should be followed by a period in both instances
If this pic was traumatizing, you should check out the film it came from: "A Trip to the Moon". It's so old that it hasn't got any audio, but it will have you tripping.
Thanks for a great read and good luck in the voting,
🦍
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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OMG. That's probably what did it! I probably saw the movie as a small child. My parents let me watch movies I shouldn't have been allowed to watch.
Thanks for reviewing and for enlightening me.
Comment from Aussie
Amazing Grace. I so enjoyed you Mr. Moon poem. So large in our part of the world at the moment. Some don't even know we plant by the moon and tides. The ancient peoples worshiped the moon. Loved your write.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Amazing Grace. I so enjoyed you Mr. Moon poem. So large in our part of the world at the moment. Some don't even know we plant by the moon and tides. The ancient peoples worshiped the moon. Loved your write.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank so much Aussie for your lovely comments and review! So glad you liked it. Take care and enjoy your weekend!
Comment from Barry Penfold
A good poem with a different sort of image. thought the rhyming was good and thanks for the notes.Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a wonderful day. Also, all the best in the contest.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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A good poem with a different sort of image. thought the rhyming was good and thanks for the notes.Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a wonderful day. Also, all the best in the contest.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thanks so very much Barry for comments, review and good luck wishes!
Enjoy your weekend!
Comment from Pamusart
Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the moon. Sounds a little far fetched but I'm sure that you believed it. Were you a child when this happened? Or an adult?
It sounds like that walk you took under the moon may have made you realize that she is not out to get you
This is my favorite part of your poem
"the moon was cloaked in milky haze
It's beauty decked in ivory shrouds."
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the moon. Sounds a little far fetched but I'm sure that you believed it. Were you a child when this happened? Or an adult?
It sounds like that walk you took under the moon may have made you realize that she is not out to get you
This is my favorite part of your poem
"the moon was cloaked in milky haze
It's beauty decked in ivory shrouds."
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Yes, this is a true story. I think my mom must of had me in some super strong cough syrup or something. I was both afraid and intrigued at the same time. Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from jessizero
This was a great story told in a poem. I am glad your narrator finally found freedom from fear. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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This was a great story told in a poem. I am glad your narrator finally found freedom from fear. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thanks so very much Jessizero!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a well written and ambient post full of admiration for the moon. I enjoyed the magical metre and the rich descriptions here, a joy to read, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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This is a well written and ambient post full of admiration for the moon. I enjoyed the magical metre and the rich descriptions here, a joy to read, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thanks Dolly for your lovely comments and review!
