The Rest of Me
a contest entry35 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your poem deeply expresses the pain and sense of betrayal left by someone who took so much more than they gave. The repeated questions and imagery of being left "hollow" and "turned to stone" vividly convey the deep hurt and emptiness you feel.
The raw emotion and intensity of your words resonate strongly, making the reader feel the weight of your loss. A few adjustments to smooth the flow could make it even more impactful, but overall, it's a moving and powerful reflection on the scars left by abandonment.
  |
Your poem deeply expresses the pain and sense of betrayal left by someone who took so much more than they gave. The repeated questions and imagery of being left "hollow" and "turned to stone" vividly convey the deep hurt and emptiness you feel.
The raw emotion and intensity of your words resonate strongly, making the reader feel the weight of your loss. A few adjustments to smooth the flow could make it even more impactful, but overall, it's a moving and powerful reflection on the scars left by abandonment.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Jessica.
Superb choice of artwork to accompany this piece, expertly alluded to in line 3 and other places in your excellent poem.
In fact, now I look more closely you have used the statue itself as a perfect metaphor for loneliness felt after having been abandoned - not just the hole but also the hardening and coldness.
I like the rhetorical questions too which give a sound framework for the piece.
I'd have to say this is the best piece I've seen from you and such a clearly deserving winner. Congratulations.
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
 |
Hi, Jessica.
Superb choice of artwork to accompany this piece, expertly alluded to in line 3 and other places in your excellent poem.
In fact, now I look more closely you have used the statue itself as a perfect metaphor for loneliness felt after having been abandoned - not just the hole but also the hardening and coldness.
I like the rhetorical questions too which give a sound framework for the piece.
I'd have to say this is the best piece I've seen from you and such a clearly deserving winner. Congratulations.
Steve
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
-
Steve, I'm truly honored. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!
Xo
Jess
Comment from Barry Penfold
A lonely poem it is. A broken love with harsh consequences. Well written and top image. Well done in the competition. Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
|
A lonely poem it is. A broken love with harsh consequences. Well written and top image. Well done in the competition. Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from BermyBye50
Jessica,
Congrats on winning the Lonely Poem Contest. This powerful, heartfelt poem expresses a medley of emotions - sadness, anguish, anger, abandonment, and loneliness. All of which I experienced personally after my wife left me 16 years ago after 17 years of marriage.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
|
Jessica,
Congrats on winning the Lonely Poem Contest. This powerful, heartfelt poem expresses a medley of emotions - sadness, anguish, anger, abandonment, and loneliness. All of which I experienced personally after my wife left me 16 years ago after 17 years of marriage.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
-
Eugene, i deeply appreciate your encouraging review. Thank you, my friend!
Xo
Jess
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are thought provoking, clear and creative. The descriptive words the author used engaged the reader into the pain and sadness of this poem. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is unique and supports the words of this poem. Great Poem!
|
The author's words are thought provoking, clear and creative. The descriptive words the author used engaged the reader into the pain and sadness of this poem. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is unique and supports the words of this poem. Great Poem!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from gansach
Congratulations on the Lonely Poem win--well deserved! The photo is perfect to illustrate your words. This is so expressive, the emotions raw, the pain so present.
Very well done!
|
Congratulations on the Lonely Poem win--well deserved! The photo is perfect to illustrate your words. This is so expressive, the emotions raw, the pain so present.
Very well done!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jessica,
This is a great poem about how empty emotionally and spiritually you may become after a break-up of a love relationship. The artwork is so perfect because it depicts the words well and shows we need to ponder our lives so we can return to normal. A park bench is a great place to do that.
Congrats on winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of the week.
Joan
|
Hi Jessica,
This is a great poem about how empty emotionally and spiritually you may become after a break-up of a love relationship. The artwork is so perfect because it depicts the words well and shows we need to ponder our lives so we can return to normal. A park bench is a great place to do that.
Congrats on winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of the week.
Joan
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from Janet Foor
Certainly expresses loneliness from the picture that inspired you to the last word of your well written free verse poem.
Well done and good luck
Blessings
Janet
|
Certainly expresses loneliness from the picture that inspired you to the last word of your well written free verse poem.
Well done and good luck
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from pome lover
wow! That is strong stuff. Of course, the picture grabbed me first and I had to see what was written about it. At first sight of the statue, I thought maybe he represented the world, or man, in general - depressed. But then, I realized it was a lover's lament.
Your poem is very expressive, beautifully written, and certainly expresses melancholy and sadness.
Good job!
Katharine
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
wow! That is strong stuff. Of course, the picture grabbed me first and I had to see what was written about it. At first sight of the statue, I thought maybe he represented the world, or man, in general - depressed. But then, I realized it was a lover's lament.
Your poem is very expressive, beautifully written, and certainly expresses melancholy and sadness.
Good job!
Katharine
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from ESOSTINE
This poem is very poignant and quite expressive. It will surely do well in the contest. It is deep in emotion and laced in imageries that enrich the poem. This very creative work touches my heart. Well done, dear, and good luck in the contest.
|
This poem is very poignant and quite expressive. It will surely do well in the contest. It is deep in emotion and laced in imageries that enrich the poem. This very creative work touches my heart. Well done, dear, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
