Finding my Inner Peace
For Gypsy's Finding Your Muse Club47 total reviews
Comment from Katiemae1977
I highly agree Debi! In the end inner peace and your relationship with God is all you have. And when you've achieved it, nothing feels better!
You have a fine poem here with stanzas in tetrameter and good, strong rhymes.
Take care and be well.
Katiemae1977
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I highly agree Debi! In the end inner peace and your relationship with God is all you have. And when you've achieved it, nothing feels better!
You have a fine poem here with stanzas in tetrameter and good, strong rhymes.
Take care and be well.
Katiemae1977
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Dear Katiemae, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
Comment from Jacob1395
I really liked reading this piece and I can imagine it must feel amazing to truly feel like this and feel at one with yourself. You portray your thoughts and emotions well, an excellent piece Debi. I enojyed reading it.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I really liked reading this piece and I can imagine it must feel amazing to truly feel like this and feel at one with yourself. You portray your thoughts and emotions well, an excellent piece Debi. I enojyed reading it.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Jacob, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
Comment from Sanku
You are so right Finding ones inner peace is very important. May I make a suggestion? I was wondering .'inner peace ' and 'within' in the first line may be felt like repetition ..Just a thought .'To find my peace within' will upset the metre I think .So may be a two syllable adjective before peace may make a difference .
great thought ...Santha.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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You are so right Finding ones inner peace is very important. May I make a suggestion? I was wondering .'inner peace ' and 'within' in the first line may be felt like repetition ..Just a thought .'To find my peace within' will upset the metre I think .So may be a two syllable adjective before peace may make a difference .
great thought ...Santha.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Hi Santha, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
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I did see your suggestion, and got what you meant but decided to stay. I appreciate it so much tho Santha. I love good feedback and yours was great. I just am funny about my meter.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a lovely poem from the poet laurate of Fanstory. We can always count on you to write a special poem with significance to all our lives. Peace is what we all seek, and you tell us how to find it.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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This is a lovely poem from the poet laurate of Fanstory. We can always count on you to write a special poem with significance to all our lives. Peace is what we all seek, and you tell us how to find it.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Carol, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Hi Debi. What a nice poem. The picture is so beautiful. A good choice for your poem. Poem is descriptive and well written.
I want to thank you for encouraging me to post the abuse from my grandfather. Some people have expressed appreciation to me for writing it. Love, Brenda
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Hi Debi. What a nice poem. The picture is so beautiful. A good choice for your poem. Poem is descriptive and well written.
I want to thank you for encouraging me to post the abuse from my grandfather. Some people have expressed appreciation to me for writing it. Love, Brenda
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Brenda, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation, Gypsy.
-You wrote a good poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-Very good opening verses.
-You have good examples of what
it feels like having no inner peace.
-A very good closing verse that
has a positive message and outlook.
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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-Very nice artwork and presentation, Gypsy.
-You wrote a good poem with a good topic.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-Very good opening verses.
-You have good examples of what
it feels like having no inner peace.
-A very good closing verse that
has a positive message and outlook.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Dearest Pam, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
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You are very welcome, Debi. Inner peace is very important.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Debi,
The sentiments of your poem are heartfelt and will resonate with many readers.
Some thoughts to consider:
In the first stanza, you write in the first person-singular- subjective = "I."
This format continues until the third line of the second stanza wherein you switch to first person - plural - objective = "us."
I would stay with first person "I" or "me" for consistency throughout your poem.
"His love for us (me) will never cease."
In the third stanza, you completely switch to second person, "you," and continue in that vein throughout the fourth stanza.
Consider maintaining first person pronouns throughout your poem for consistency and effectiveness.
Thank you for sharing.
diane
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Hello, Debi,
The sentiments of your poem are heartfelt and will resonate with many readers.
Some thoughts to consider:
In the first stanza, you write in the first person-singular- subjective = "I."
This format continues until the third line of the second stanza wherein you switch to first person - plural - objective = "us."
I would stay with first person "I" or "me" for consistency throughout your poem.
"His love for us (me) will never cease."
In the third stanza, you completely switch to second person, "you," and continue in that vein throughout the fourth stanza.
Consider maintaining first person pronouns throughout your poem for consistency and effectiveness.
Thank you for sharing.
diane
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Diane, thank you for your suggestions. I appreciate them very much. Debi
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice work. There's just one one where the accents are slightly off:
It's like facing a big brick wall <= because the meter falls on the even beats, as currently written the puts the accent on the second syllable of "facing" instead of the first.
Possible fix:
when dreams end at a big brick wall/it leaves you feeling very small
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Nice work. There's just one one where the accents are slightly off:
It's like facing a big brick wall <= because the meter falls on the even beats, as currently written the puts the accent on the second syllable of "facing" instead of the first.
Possible fix:
when dreams end at a big brick wall/it leaves you feeling very small
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Aha, I am with you there, my friend. When I read it I felt the bump in the road, kinda like I hit that big brick wall. I literally threw this together by the pool side yesterday, on a family vacation in Northern MN.
I thank you for your suggestion and I am happy to use it. I haven't' had anytime to go back and fix it but I will now. Thank you very much. I am surprised that was all you found. LOL...I appreciate that.
Love, Debi
Comment from mrsmajor
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written poem, Debi, using rhymed quatrain verses, it was a
joy to read..I like how you used the rhyming pattern in each verse...
Indeed striving for the delight of inner peace calls for a closeness to God, and His way...I really enjoyed your thoughts, and the picture was a positive addition....
This really is a 6 star post, but I'm all out...so please accept a virtual 6th star...
Blessings!
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you for sharing this beautifully written poem, Debi, using rhymed quatrain verses, it was a
joy to read..I like how you used the rhyming pattern in each verse...
Indeed striving for the delight of inner peace calls for a closeness to God, and His way...I really enjoyed your thoughts, and the picture was a positive addition....
This really is a 6 star post, but I'm all out...so please accept a virtual 6th star...
Blessings!
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Victoria, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
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You're very welcome, Debi, it was indeed, My pleasure!
Victoria
Comment from gramalot8
You do help your readers to feel warm snd comfortable with your descriptive words. Your rhythmic style and rhymes are excellent as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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You do help your readers to feel warm snd comfortable with your descriptive words. Your rhythmic style and rhymes are excellent as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Gramalot, I thank you for your kind words for my inner peace poem. I appreciate it so much.
Debi