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Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Battle of the Gods - Part 2"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

18 total reviews 
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

An excellent chapter and great job with the artwork, Rhonda. You cover a lot of territory with various characters facing challenges and having to react to them. Echo seems to be pulled by varying forces and has to be feeling a sense of helplessness because of it. She has gotten warnings from others, and even from her cat.

Theo's brothers show up and there is the usual bravado that comes when opposing sides meet up, each wanting to gain control of the situation. The biggest issue is Echo who is being pulled by Hades, who seems to cast a spell over her that she cannot avoid. I know that it is too early for things to be resolved, but it had to have hurt Echo that Theo wouldn't fight for her. His comment about having no use for her if she is with Hades had to have hurt Echo beyond what she could take. I was surprised that Theo gave up so readily.

I guess Theo thought she would have no problem being true to him, but he has misjudged the situation, and I wouldn't be surprised if his lack of effort was because of pride. It was either that, or he figured Echo would reject Hades, but he also didn't know that the spell Hades seemed to cast over her was powerful, and she couldn't resist by herself. She tried to resist, but his power and magnetism was too strong and he has won for now. It will be interesting to see where this goes from here. Well done, my friend.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you so very much for the six stars and for the detailed review. Have a little faith in Theo, he has his reasons, and has yet to reveal his extra helpers!!

    You were right about the sparring between the opposing sides. They were feeling each other out, and allowing Echo to make a very important choice. She will have to do it on her own. However, Theo is just a step or two away.

    It will all come out in the next chapter, which is already written, but was too long to put out at once.

    Thanks again for the six stars and the comments,
    Rhonda
reply by Pam (respa) on 01-Aug-2024
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. I look forward to these extra helpers and thanks for sharing in your reply.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I don't know what game Theo is but I hope it's a good one and knows what he's doing. Poor Echo is beside herself with pain that he would let her go that easily. Now I have to wait!! This was a really good chapter, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
    Hi Sandra,
    Thank you so much for the six stars, my friend! Theo has his reasons for what he's doing it, and I will reveal them very soon. He has a master plan, and he has yet to reveal his big guns.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

NOOOOO! Hades is far to cocky and can't win...Theo is giving Echo the chance to be strong and stand on her own, but she does not recognize this yet. But she's a warrior in her own right...She will stand up and deny Hades. She has too! Awesome chapter filled with every emotion and striking every nerve. Well done!
Smiles and hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
    Hi Carol,
    You nailed it, Theo is letting Echo make her own choice and to learn to fight for herself. He will, also, step in soon!! Thanks so much for your insightful review my friend!! And, especially, thanks for the beautiful six stars.

    Big hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh wow, Rhonda! What an emotional, skilfully expressed read. You've poured your heart into this chapter but it always seems measured and focused, never veering off into too much imagery (just enough) and always excelling in credible and impressive dialogue. Towards the end I truly found Echo's resistance real to the point I think I might have been holding my breath. And what a tease of an ending:)) Some wonderful and glamorous pics too, enchanting us still more with this mythical fantasy. No errors found in the text but just a couple of suggestion you might or might not consider:

Sentence starting: Dressed in white - the last phrase after 'catacombs' sounds a bit lumpy and repetitive. Could it be replaced with - belying his true nature and mission?
She saw the fiend he was (no need to insert 'who')

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story! Take care Debbie xo

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
    Hi Debbie,
    Thank you so much for the six stars and for your comments. I'm glad I'm able to maintain the balance between description and dialogue. I think I've told you before, but I write dialogue first, then go back and add in details. I guess I'm a talker, lol.

    I'm glad you liked the pictures. I just learned how to insert them, so am having way too much fun doing so!

    I made the changes you suggested and they really do sound much better. I appreciate you input!!

    Sorry I'm so behind on reviewing. I have a new 19 year-old grandson living with me. Sweet as he can be, but autistic and clingy, so I have my hands full, plus I just started back to work. I'll try to catch up.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 01-Aug-2024
    Dear Rhonda, please don't worry about any catch-up on my behalf. You've got enough to do and this should come last of all. xo
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
    I know, but I don't like to neglect my friends, either.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Theo does seem to have given up too easily and Echo can't help being forced by Hades' magic. It seems an impossible situation that Echo may not be able to resist even though she hates Hades.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
    Yeah, he does, but it's just a ploy. He's about to have his turn. Poor Echo is a pawn at this moment, but it will be worth it in the end.

    Thanks for reviewing,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Brava! Brava! Wow, this was long in a delicious sort of way. I savored every line. Covered in silver mail! Your war historians will love that description. This chapter had everything: strengths, weaknesses, love, lust, doubts, faith, and a little hearsay I feel Theo and Echo will win out in the end although it looks a little iffy at the moment. Love shall prevail.
Exceptional and well illustrated by Echo and her horse, Forbearance, and the good-looking gods of Concorde Valley.
Sending you my best today as always, and Love & Blessings across the bridge.
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
    Hi Sally,
    Sorry it's taken me two days to respond. You're such an angel for being patient. I read it right away, and I appreciate the stars and comments. You know I've been super, duper busy!!

    I try to add a little historical and mythological content to hit different tastes, thanks for noticing. And, you know love does always prevail, lol. Yes, the gods are a bit hunky, just as pictured by the ancient Greeks. Also, Theo, Adam and Hades look a bit alike, and that's intentional because they are related. I add a different look for Hermes, basically to give contrast, but also because he's often depicted as a blonde.

    Much love,
    Rhonda
reply by Sally Law on 01-Aug-2024
    No worries on responding. I can't seem to do much of anything. I'm glad I was able to read this chapter, definitely a high point in my wekk. Love you big!
    Sal X0s
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
    Awwww, you are so sweet!!!
    I'll be playing catch-up for a while, I'm afraid. I have 95 messages right now...eeek!

    Much love
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Rhonda

I haven't read too many chapters of this book. I think I might've read one. So, thank you for the synopsis and the cast of characters that really helped

It is an interesting plot. And Hades is the Greek god of the underworld. Just about every ancient civilization had a god of the underworld because they all believed in hell.

This is very imaginative and very well written virtually mistake free for such a long chapter. That's pretty good.

I look forward to reading another chapter

Here you have an extra with

"and sides with with strength she didn't know she possessed"

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 Comment Written 30-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you so very much for the review, my new friend. I've noticed your reviews before and thank you for revisiting. The book is nearly finished, but I am glad you popped in to give independent ideas. I will probably do a prequel coming up or go to a different book.

    I fixed the double withs, and thank you for noticing. You were the only one who did, lol.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by Pamusart on 01-Aug-2024
    Great!! go for it
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have faith that you will save Echo from that Hades character. This chapter was full of action and emotions. I look forward to the next addition to the story. Nice work.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
    Hi, thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad you have faith in my ability to pull Echo's toes out of the fire!!
    Hugs,
    Rhonda