Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Murder on Fifth Avenue"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
22 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was so good! Carol, you always come up with fabulous plots. I laughed at Danny's entrance into the morgue of all places. I wasn't thrilled with Naomi, and like Danny, I don't trust her either. Poor Rosa, she's used to them dead, and staying dead!! LOL. I'm already loving this one, my friend. Well done! Love and hugs. Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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That was so good! Carol, you always come up with fabulous plots. I laughed at Danny's entrance into the morgue of all places. I wasn't thrilled with Naomi, and like Danny, I don't trust her either. Poor Rosa, she's used to them dead, and staying dead!! LOL. I'm already loving this one, my friend. Well done! Love and hugs. Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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I'm thrilled that you enjoyed Danny. I wanted to add a little more fun into the story and she definitely has that going for her. And Naomi..she's going to be in a tough spot... not one fully of her own making, but one she'll struggle to get out of. Thank you for the wonderful stars...it makes me feel good that the story is getting off to a good start.
Smiles and hugs!
Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, it's Tuesday morning and this cowboy is all out of bullets already. But I've got a lot of reading done and I'm not 70 posts behind like I've been for weeks. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Well, it's Tuesday morning and this cowboy is all out of bullets already. But I've got a lot of reading done and I'm not 70 posts behind like I've been for weeks. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Wow! Competing with me to do all that reading. My eyes are crossed and blurred so badly I might not be able to see the keyboard.....but never fear...I'll write somehow. Thanks for stopping by, as always, and for just being you.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Another ghost! And Donatello is back and has had some dealings with her already, and also with Naomi. Interesting!!! I see that Jenna is back too. Do you ever sleep? You are really powering through these books!
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Another ghost! And Donatello is back and has had some dealings with her already, and also with Naomi. Interesting!!! I see that Jenna is back too. Do you ever sleep? You are really powering through these books!
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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For some reason I am running o high gear at the moment... Trying to slow down a little. I couldn't say goodbye to my characters and this contest popped up...and here we go! LOL thanks so much for your kindness as always!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Oh, this is off to a great start! Danny...(or Danni, or Dani) is a pip of a ghost and the "history" between her and Donatelli promises to be intriguing!
So she and Naomi have past relationships with our detective? Woo hoo! Sparks may fly.
I know little about beauty pageants, so this theme will pique my interest.
Eleanor is a ghost advisor here? Does this mean she'll be taking a back seat?
I hope not!
Is Murder on Fifth Avenue the title to this book?
It didn't show up in the prologue did it?
I assumed you were going with "Beauty, Brains and..."
How many chapters until Garth?
(Smile)
You are a writing machine!
On fire!
I'm excited ...
Karenina
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Oh, this is off to a great start! Danny...(or Danni, or Dani) is a pip of a ghost and the "history" between her and Donatelli promises to be intriguing!
So she and Naomi have past relationships with our detective? Woo hoo! Sparks may fly.
I know little about beauty pageants, so this theme will pique my interest.
Eleanor is a ghost advisor here? Does this mean she'll be taking a back seat?
I hope not!
Is Murder on Fifth Avenue the title to this book?
It didn't show up in the prologue did it?
I assumed you were going with "Beauty, Brains and..."
How many chapters until Garth?
(Smile)
You are a writing machine!
On fire!
I'm excited ...
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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It's a contest so I had to have the first chapter a stand alone and then I can add it to the book afterwards... Yes, I like Beauty, Brains and Brawn. I will slow down with this one so I can make sure I have the other irons I have in the fire going well. Thanks for all your help and kindnes. You are the best!
Smiles, Carol
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Are you kidding me?
You?
Slow down?
I think your muse belongs to NASCAR!
LOL...
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Shall I email you what I did all night?
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Sure!
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I did!
Comment from Thesis
This is a very interesting first chapter. Your characters are all interesting and the history you reveal about them is a good start to this book. I look forward to see where you take this.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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This is a very interesting first chapter. Your characters are all interesting and the history you reveal about them is a good start to this book. I look forward to see where you take this.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Good morning, Thesis
I am happy to see new faces and to hear how they think of my writing. I hope you will continue to follow the story and enjoy.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
In the prologue, I missed the fact that Matthew Donatelli was in this story. Good, because we already know him. However, I was surprised to see another ghost, in addition to Eleanor. This ghost is a detective, and should be able to give Donatelli even more assistance than Eleanor did. Looking forward to the adventure.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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In the prologue, I missed the fact that Matthew Donatelli was in this story. Good, because we already know him. However, I was surprised to see another ghost, in addition to Eleanor. This ghost is a detective, and should be able to give Donatelli even more assistance than Eleanor did. Looking forward to the adventure.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Danny is young and quite the spirit which gives me a little more room with the humor. Eleanor will be around to try and keep her reined in so to speak. I think this might develop into a series if all goes well. thank you for joining me again.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Carol
This part is hilarious
" Traffic was atrocious, and my coffee took a detour from cup to mouth." She glanced at the stain on her blouse but hastened on. "You really need a place to put these wet umbrellas." She quickly leaned it against the wall."
So, this is a new book with Danny now taking the place of Eleanor as the ghost?
I noticed that Donatelli is in this so far he's the only character from your other book in here
Danielle is a pretty funny character and two other characters have been introduced so far. I am assuming this is chapter 1 of a new book. I liked the old book very much. So, I look forward to the future chapters here.
Here. Something needs to be done. Maybe demeanor drew the tension?
" and cool demeanor sdrewthe tension in the room tighter"
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Hi Carol
This part is hilarious
" Traffic was atrocious, and my coffee took a detour from cup to mouth." She glanced at the stain on her blouse but hastened on. "You really need a place to put these wet umbrellas." She quickly leaned it against the wall."
So, this is a new book with Danny now taking the place of Eleanor as the ghost?
I noticed that Donatelli is in this so far he's the only character from your other book in here
Danielle is a pretty funny character and two other characters have been introduced so far. I am assuming this is chapter 1 of a new book. I liked the old book very much. So, I look forward to the future chapters here.
Here. Something needs to be done. Maybe demeanor drew the tension?
" and cool demeanor sdrewthe tension in the room tighter"
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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fixed it! And thank you for joining me on another ride! I added Danny for the youth and craziness but Eleanor will still be around now and then to keep her on the straight and narrow. Thanks so much for joining in!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from SimianSavant
I usually have difficulty reading longer things on here, but this one kept my interest. It is well paced, with personality.
A couple notes:
hit him like a brick wall -- maybe a different analogy? A Wave of sewage? An oven blast?
Shaking his fur <= perhaps "its fur"; gender in this context is slightly distracting
A more conventional shorthand spelling for a female named Danielle might be Dani or Danni. Danny is definitely the male version, unless Danielle is supposed to be trans, which appears quite unlikely from her description. Phonetically it is the same, but it's slightly jarring to see as a straight reader who knows a few male Dannys. But then again, she is a ghost, so if you are particularly fond of your spelling, I understand.
Her impeccably tailored suit and cool demeanor sdrewthe <= typo
Maybe a little bit more detail on the death wound on the corpse would be helpful, so the reader can see what is so unusual about it?
Great work overall! I'm excited to see where this goes.
SS
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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I usually have difficulty reading longer things on here, but this one kept my interest. It is well paced, with personality.
A couple notes:
hit him like a brick wall -- maybe a different analogy? A Wave of sewage? An oven blast?
Shaking his fur <= perhaps "its fur"; gender in this context is slightly distracting
A more conventional shorthand spelling for a female named Danielle might be Dani or Danni. Danny is definitely the male version, unless Danielle is supposed to be trans, which appears quite unlikely from her description. Phonetically it is the same, but it's slightly jarring to see as a straight reader who knows a few male Dannys. But then again, she is a ghost, so if you are particularly fond of your spelling, I understand.
Her impeccably tailored suit and cool demeanor sdrewthe <= typo
Maybe a little bit more detail on the death wound on the corpse would be helpful, so the reader can see what is so unusual about it?
Great work overall! I'm excited to see where this goes.
SS
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Good morning, SS! Thank you for stopping by to read and follow my story. I appreciate the suggestions and will check them out. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very interesting contest entry. I'm surprised you're ready to start another one after the rigorous writing to of the last contest. But I'm glad you are. I get to read it. LOL
Dr. Rosa Galotti interrupted their exchange. "Since this is my morgue, (exchange,)
Danny hesitated before saying bodies. Well, let's just say I've had some wild science experiments." ("Well,)
Her impeccably tailored suit and cool demeanor sdrewthe tension in the room tighter. (sdrewthe???)
Rosa's gaze narrowed as she continued. "Stress is one thing, but it doesn't explain a precise gash to the temple." (continued,)
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Very interesting contest entry. I'm surprised you're ready to start another one after the rigorous writing to of the last contest. But I'm glad you are. I get to read it. LOL
Dr. Rosa Galotti interrupted their exchange. "Since this is my morgue, (exchange,)
Danny hesitated before saying bodies. Well, let's just say I've had some wild science experiments." ("Well,)
Her impeccably tailored suit and cool demeanor sdrewthe tension in the room tighter. (sdrewthe???)
Rosa's gaze narrowed as she continued. "Stress is one thing, but it doesn't explain a precise gash to the temple." (continued,)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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thank you as always, Barbara for the review and for the fix it help! Done and appreciated! Hope you enjoy this new story as I do!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Carol are you auditioning to become a ghost writer? You must heve gotten attached to you invisible characters. I'm sure there would be an advantage to haveing a ghost on the pay role but what is the going salary and how do they get paid? Just kidding around. I might have to read this again when I'm more awake. It's that time of day when I can stay awake. I just sent you something I wasn't finished with and I know it makes no sense. Please excuse it.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Carol are you auditioning to become a ghost writer? You must heve gotten attached to you invisible characters. I'm sure there would be an advantage to haveing a ghost on the pay role but what is the going salary and how do they get paid? Just kidding around. I might have to read this again when I'm more awake. It's that time of day when I can stay awake. I just sent you something I wasn't finished with and I know it makes no sense. Please excuse it.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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I loved the characters and had so much fun, something I never expected. Then I saw this contest and decided what the heck and joined. I will try not to post so many stories so fast since I'm told it's too much to keep up with...but it' s hard to stay in a slow motion mode. LOL Thanks, Beth!
Smiles, Carol