The Green Tonka Road Grader
A little boy that wanted to play with a road grader.31 total reviews
Comment from AliMom
Thank you for this story. It is a story of hope and determination. It reveals so much about the struggles of a single parent household. Little Harry has character and strength which is revealed through his wants and desires and the tragedy which befalls him. Your writing is simple and straight forward. That is not a bad thing. It is almost like reporting. Your action moves the plot along and invite the reader to imagine him or herself in the same situation. With little flourish you manage to capture and hold the reader's attention so we wind up rooting for the protagonist almost immediately.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Thank you for this story. It is a story of hope and determination. It reveals so much about the struggles of a single parent household. Little Harry has character and strength which is revealed through his wants and desires and the tragedy which befalls him. Your writing is simple and straight forward. That is not a bad thing. It is almost like reporting. Your action moves the plot along and invite the reader to imagine him or herself in the same situation. With little flourish you manage to capture and hold the reader's attention so we wind up rooting for the protagonist almost immediately.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you AliMom.
Comment from Christiana Marie
This is a fascinating story, I am glad that it ended on a happy note with Harry finally getting the truck and seeming hopeful for the future. The story had good pacing and an approachable, straightforward voice.
It felt a bit like a friend recounting a story about a mutual acquaintance. Enough description to follow along but I feel like there could be a little more imagery and sensory language to help the reader feel as if there are right there with Harry on the dirt road and under the truck.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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This is a fascinating story, I am glad that it ended on a happy note with Harry finally getting the truck and seeming hopeful for the future. The story had good pacing and an approachable, straightforward voice.
It felt a bit like a friend recounting a story about a mutual acquaintance. Enough description to follow along but I feel like there could be a little more imagery and sensory language to help the reader feel as if there are right there with Harry on the dirt road and under the truck.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Well, I am not sure I could have been any more descriptive. It's not a Pulitzer Prize piece. Its a true story about a boy who wanted a toy and never even got to play with it.
Comment from Thesis
I'm curious why you did not write this in the first person. Since it's non-fiction, the reader assumes you are Harry in the story. In any event, it is a sad story, with a somewhat happy ending.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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I'm curious why you did not write this in the first person. Since it's non-fiction, the reader assumes you are Harry in the story. In any event, it is a sad story, with a somewhat happy ending.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Thesis. It was really the only way I could write it. It has been so long. And yes, I am Harry in the story. And some times things in life are sad, but we overcome them. I appreciate your review!
Comment from Jacob1395
This was quite a sad story, but I liked that Harry did get the toy he wanted in the end, even though he would have to wait many months before he could play with it. I can just imagine how hard that would've been for him to realise. I thought the pacing was done really well and I found your writing really engaging. You did an excellent job with this piece.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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This was quite a sad story, but I liked that Harry did get the toy he wanted in the end, even though he would have to wait many months before he could play with it. I can just imagine how hard that would've been for him to realise. I thought the pacing was done really well and I found your writing really engaging. You did an excellent job with this piece.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the kind review Jacob. I really appreciate that!
Comment from BethShelby
Your story was good. I found it well written and interesting. He was a brave little boy. You have this listed as non fiction so I assume this really happened. I'm glad he survived because it sounds like a close call. He is very brave to go though this and be happy over the top and also determined to walk and run again.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Your story was good. I found it well written and interesting. He was a brave little boy. You have this listed as non fiction so I assume this really happened. I'm glad he survived because it sounds like a close call. He is very brave to go though this and be happy over the top and also determined to walk and run again.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Beth for your review. I really appreciate it! Yes, the story is true about me. I spent 13 months in a wheelchair and still have a deformity in my left leg today. It has never slowed me down in life. It was a very painful time, but I survived...
Comment from Esther Brown
Harry, that was sweet. You wrote it like you could see everything so clearly and from the age appropriate view. I liked it. Are you writing memoirs? The only two I have read have been personal from childhood. Thanks for sharing, Esther
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Harry, that was sweet. You wrote it like you could see everything so clearly and from the age appropriate view. I liked it. Are you writing memoirs? The only two I have read have been personal from childhood. Thanks for sharing, Esther
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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LOL! Well, yes Esther. This was a true story about me when I was 7 years old. That wreck put me in a wheelchair for 13 months. Thank you for your review! I really appreciate it!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I loved this story. It was so interesting and easy to follow along. It was so descriptive and well written. I'm glad it ended on a positive note. Great job
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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I loved this story. It was so interesting and easy to follow along. It was so descriptive and well written. I'm glad it ended on a positive note. Great job
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Brenda for your kind words and your review! I really appreciate that!
Comment from Gunner Lil
An excellent first sentence that sets up the story.
Tyrod should be tie rod.
Another revision would eliminate some of the more- wordy sentences that over explain the action.
Good job overall. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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An excellent first sentence that sets up the story.
Tyrod should be tie rod.
Another revision would eliminate some of the more- wordy sentences that over explain the action.
Good job overall. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Opps. Yes, you are right Gunner. I did not catch that one. Thank you for your insight and your review!
Comment from nomi338
What a beautiful story. As a child who knew poverty, the anguish of wanting something that it seemed impossible to ever attain, I know Harry's story oh so well. Fortunately for me, I never suffered the physical challenges that Harry suffered. But I do know how good it felt to get that special toy you had craved, and feared that you might never, ever get. I wish I had six stars to give you, but sadly, I do not have any left at this time.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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What a beautiful story. As a child who knew poverty, the anguish of wanting something that it seemed impossible to ever attain, I know Harry's story oh so well. Fortunately for me, I never suffered the physical challenges that Harry suffered. But I do know how good it felt to get that special toy you had craved, and feared that you might never, ever get. I wish I had six stars to give you, but sadly, I do not have any left at this time.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you nomi338 for your kind words and your review. I really appreciate it!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A powerful and thoroughly engaging story, Harry! It's well structured starting with the constant demands (as children do) for the Tonka Road Trucker, then the main part which is unexpected and horrendous for all, before closing with the object of his obsession albeit only really useful when he was out of the wheelchair ( an excellent incentive for a child). I too was involved in an RTA in which my back was broken and the other party was killed (their fault). I can therefore speak from experience and relate heavily with yours that, when that adrenaline kicks in, one can be very matter-of-fact about all around, very logical and focused. Your story has chilled me and I sincerely hope you've fully recovered. The one thing in your favour was the resilience of youth. But writing about it will, I hope, aid your full psychological recovery still more. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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A powerful and thoroughly engaging story, Harry! It's well structured starting with the constant demands (as children do) for the Tonka Road Trucker, then the main part which is unexpected and horrendous for all, before closing with the object of his obsession albeit only really useful when he was out of the wheelchair ( an excellent incentive for a child). I too was involved in an RTA in which my back was broken and the other party was killed (their fault). I can therefore speak from experience and relate heavily with yours that, when that adrenaline kicks in, one can be very matter-of-fact about all around, very logical and focused. Your story has chilled me and I sincerely hope you've fully recovered. The one thing in your favour was the resilience of youth. But writing about it will, I hope, aid your full psychological recovery still more. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you for your kind words Debbie. I really appreciate your review. It only took me hundreds of nightmares and 58 years to write this story. And then 1 woman on here called me a liar. I guess that is why I never wanted to write it in the first place. People can't believe sometimes what others go through unless they have been through it themselves. I was only 7 at the time. However, I was a very smart boy and when the adrenaline kicked in - I was very strong! So sorry for your experience too...
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I've read it, Harry, and am appalled! Don't ever let it put you off writing because you did a remarkable job here. I know how difficult it is to write about this sort of thing. I bared my soul once here and just felt so exposed. You relive it but at the same time don't want to immerse it in too much self-pity (which you didn't). So, with me, I ended up injecting probably too much humour into it which simply confused the reader! I focus now on other people's lives. It's safer:))
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Well, thank you Debbie. It took me a long time, but I guess now I figure I don't have anything to lose. So, everything I write on here except poetry is true.