Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Jim. Another fine post, my friend. The story is moving along and now we have Brian drawn into a hot 10th graders web I'm sure only to be hurt or embarrassed down the road. Girls normally don't "date down".


Keep up the good work.
John

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Right you are, John as Brian will soon find out. How he reacts to that and what ensues will have an impact on the direction of the story.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Tutoring can always turn into something special. Right? I am really enjoying this story. I like the characters. They're very believable, just like the people next door.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Thank you, Barbara. For now, everything looks promising. Let's see if he can impress her enough with his smarts and charm to go out with him.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

My gosh, a lot has changed since last we met pudgy Brian who was unmotivated, depressed, and seriously out of shape. I'm thinking of that introductory chapter and wondering how we get from here to there. Geez, Jim, you've got a good one going here!

Great dialogue and description of a young boy so close to his dream girl:-)

Happy writing.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Thanks, Pam. So close and yet so far as we will eventually see, which will plant the seeds of how we get from here to there. You just never can tell in advance what small, everyday things coupled with human tendencies end up shaping the course of your life.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Doesn't sound luike she was doing much math out there by the pool - but she knew exactly what she was doing, and he has taken the bait. I foresee complications ahead! He's growing up fast. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

So, you think she had this all planned. I confess I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense from what you've read so far. He certainly has taken the bait, though, and you're right about the coming complications.

Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

Good chapter, catching us up on what happened after the loss of the parents. Brian is developing nicely as a character, taking direction from his sister and shouldering his share of the responsibility without much complaint. Interesting to see him good at maths and English. In my experience these are often opposite talents. I got A in English and failed maths so badly my teacher didn't let me take the final exam. I can do ordinary practical maths, fortunately. I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Thanks, should I call you Sally?

You're right; that's an unusual combination which shows that he is strong in both the left brain and the right brain. My son was just the opposite: strong in math, much weaker in English, but my daughter was strong in both. Today, he is a mechanical engineer, and she is an interior designer who combines an artistically creative design sense with very strong organizational and logical skills as a project team leader. Brian will resemble her in this regard.

Whenever I write a novel, my son doesn't often read them, but my daughter will always provide me with a critical review afterwards.

reply by Sallyo on 14-Jun-2024

Hi Jim; yes, my name is Sally. When I picked my Fanstory alias twenty years ago I used one left over from a group where there were two people called Sally. We became SallyB and SallyO. My (married) surname is Odgers which is an odd one that seems pretty common in Cornwall, which is where my husband's ancestors came from. They arrived in Australia and went forth and multiplied.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

It sounds like this lad found a friend through his lack of knowledge in the maths department Jim, I enjoyed your warm hearted story, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Thanks, Dolly. It will soon get rather dark as this doomed relationship begins to exert its influence on him.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Hah! And who said you would never use algebra, ever?
I thought Derek was done and was chiding Brian for taking too long to finish the back.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Yeah, he was done with the MacReady's lawn and had moved across the street to do the lawn over there. Perhaps I should make that clearer.

You're right; you can never tell when that algebra will come to good use!

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

And the fly was trapped by the spider and when you expose the rabbit hole (sexy babe) I have a way of falling in bad boy
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 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Yes, he's the helpless fly caught in her web. This probably won't end well for him, but we'll see how it pans out.

Comment from Thesis

Excellent

Quite an interesting chapter. It seems as though Sandi was trolling to get Brian to help her with her Math issues. Using her body to get what she wanted, what was he supposed to do? Especially, since both their hormones were raging. Oh well, it's human nature.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Yep, helplessly ensnared. Human nature to be sure. I can remember being similarly ensnared by a beauty who I had a few dates with in my youth, but she was just visiting her cousin for the summer, so it never had the chance to go anywhere. Fond memories of her. She taught me how to French kiss! Not that it would have continued very long. She also usually dated older guys.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is an excellent story. I am enjoying it. Sounds like this kid is on the right track now. He getting in shape, making money and seeing a hot chick.

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 Comment Written 12-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024

Thanks so much, Beth. All's good for now. Hard to imagine how he gets from here to the scene in the prologue, but I'll be planting the seeds of that fairly soon.