Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "The Immortal Kiss "Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
21 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. This story gets better with each chapter. I'm enjoying it immensely. I hope you write fast so I can continue with this intriguing story. Nice work.
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Excellent. This story gets better with each chapter. I'm enjoying it immensely. I hope you write fast so I can continue with this intriguing story. Nice work.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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That is so sweet. My pace will definitely pick up now I'm out for Summer Break. I need something to do besides writing lesson plans and grading papers, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
Wow, what's going to happen now, and how is the supposed upward transference to immortality has actually happened. I don't really expect it has, for some reason, usually true lose kiss is normally what occurs for transferring things, this is a fascinating story Rhonda, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Wow, what's going to happen now, and how is the supposed upward transference to immortality has actually happened. I don't really expect it has, for some reason, usually true lose kiss is normally what occurs for transferring things, this is a fascinating story Rhonda, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Roy, thank you so much for the six stars. I really appreciate it and your time.
You're onto something with your ideas. I think Hades might have more faith in his powers than exists. Good call.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Well earned Rhonda, great story
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Unbelievable, Rhonda! I think the best chapter yet. Perfectly balanced with the flashback (love the connection with the emerald necklace) and with Adam's appearance then, a great relief for Echo and the reader as we see how helpless Echo is becoming under Hades' power. The excellent dialogue drives the story which is a vivid and entertaining joy to read. We're left wondering how Echo will be able to break the spell Hades has cast upon her as an immortal. Some small edits:
I'd rather die in battle th(a)n spend; succum(b)ed to fatigue..
Thank you for sharing. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Unbelievable, Rhonda! I think the best chapter yet. Perfectly balanced with the flashback (love the connection with the emerald necklace) and with Adam's appearance then, a great relief for Echo and the reader as we see how helpless Echo is becoming under Hades' power. The excellent dialogue drives the story which is a vivid and entertaining joy to read. We're left wondering how Echo will be able to break the spell Hades has cast upon her as an immortal. Some small edits:
I'd rather die in battle th(a)n spend; succum(b)ed to fatigue..
Thank you for sharing. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Debbie,
Thank you so much for the six stars. Equally, I appreciate the time you took to analyze it. I'm glad the flashback worked. I was trying to find a way to infuse her thoughts of Theo into it as Hades was getting lots of print, lol. It's also going to play into another chapter.
Thank you for saying it's the best chapter yet. I spent a lot of time writing and rewriting it to get across a few points and set up some elements for future chapters. It started out as part of the last chapter, but it had all grown to long, lol.
Thanks again for all,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This has some great tongue and cheek humor: "If you kiss me, you jerk, I'll break your kneecap."
"My dear, there's no need to be so shy," Hades said." Adam was no fool: "Just like that?" Adam asked. "What's the catch?" a nice ending to this chapter: "
"Are you okay?" Adam asked.
Echo drooped heavily in his arms. "I don't know. l feel sick. But please put me down. You can't carry me all the way out."
Adam shifted her weight to hold her more securely. "You aren't in any condition to walk, and we have to get out of these tunnels before my uncle changes his mind."
In spite of her words, Echo snuggled in closer. She knew she couldn't walk. "Do you really think he'd do that?"
"Who knows? He's an egomaniac."
"But he said he keeps his bargains."
Echo felt rather than saw Adam's shrug. "Haven't you ever heard never to make deals with the devil?"
"Well, yeah, but he's not really the devil is he?"
"Close enough. Over time, he's become just like him."
"Just the same, I feel bad about you having to carry me." The arms she'd had draped around his neck, fell to her side. She couldn't hold them up any longer.
"If anyone should feel bad, it's me," Adam said. "I let you down."
"How do you figure that?" Echo asked. "You got me out of that horrible room and away from your uncle."
"But he kissed you and turned you into an Immortal," Adam said. His voice broke as he fought back tears. "It was my job to stop that from happening."
"It was your job to rescue me, which you did. I'm grateful to you. If you hadn't shown up, he would have locked me back up in that room and let me deal with all this alone. Oh, and thanks to you, too, Sunny. Good shot at the big guy's face."
Adam allowed himself a chuckle, "and good job biting his leg. I don't think I've ever actually seen a cat do that before."
Echo returned his chuckle. "He's a superhero, and so are you."
The rest of the way out, they were silent. Adam, because he had to conserve his strength, and Echo, because she was fading. The dizziness that had started with the kiss was now consuming her body and draining it of strength. If this is what it felt like to become immortal, she wasn't sure why a person would want it.
As the pair struggled out of the cave, the scream of an animal rent the air. Beyond exhaustion, Adam fell to his knees, his burden carefully placed on the ground in front of him. He was too tired to figure out what animal was calling or what it said. They both closed their eyes and succumed to fatigue.
There was a rustling of grass and the sound of a horse nickering. A man stepped off and touched first Adam, then Echo.
"I've got you, Little Sparrow," a voice said. Strong arms lifted her like a child and held her against a leather clad chest. She opened one heavy eyelid and squeezed out a smile.
"Twice you've carried me from danger," Echo managed to say. She leaned her head against Georgios and closed her eyes."
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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This has some great tongue and cheek humor: "If you kiss me, you jerk, I'll break your kneecap."
"My dear, there's no need to be so shy," Hades said." Adam was no fool: "Just like that?" Adam asked. "What's the catch?" a nice ending to this chapter: "
"Are you okay?" Adam asked.
Echo drooped heavily in his arms. "I don't know. l feel sick. But please put me down. You can't carry me all the way out."
Adam shifted her weight to hold her more securely. "You aren't in any condition to walk, and we have to get out of these tunnels before my uncle changes his mind."
In spite of her words, Echo snuggled in closer. She knew she couldn't walk. "Do you really think he'd do that?"
"Who knows? He's an egomaniac."
"But he said he keeps his bargains."
Echo felt rather than saw Adam's shrug. "Haven't you ever heard never to make deals with the devil?"
"Well, yeah, but he's not really the devil is he?"
"Close enough. Over time, he's become just like him."
"Just the same, I feel bad about you having to carry me." The arms she'd had draped around his neck, fell to her side. She couldn't hold them up any longer.
"If anyone should feel bad, it's me," Adam said. "I let you down."
"How do you figure that?" Echo asked. "You got me out of that horrible room and away from your uncle."
"But he kissed you and turned you into an Immortal," Adam said. His voice broke as he fought back tears. "It was my job to stop that from happening."
"It was your job to rescue me, which you did. I'm grateful to you. If you hadn't shown up, he would have locked me back up in that room and let me deal with all this alone. Oh, and thanks to you, too, Sunny. Good shot at the big guy's face."
Adam allowed himself a chuckle, "and good job biting his leg. I don't think I've ever actually seen a cat do that before."
Echo returned his chuckle. "He's a superhero, and so are you."
The rest of the way out, they were silent. Adam, because he had to conserve his strength, and Echo, because she was fading. The dizziness that had started with the kiss was now consuming her body and draining it of strength. If this is what it felt like to become immortal, she wasn't sure why a person would want it.
As the pair struggled out of the cave, the scream of an animal rent the air. Beyond exhaustion, Adam fell to his knees, his burden carefully placed on the ground in front of him. He was too tired to figure out what animal was calling or what it said. They both closed their eyes and succumed to fatigue.
There was a rustling of grass and the sound of a horse nickering. A man stepped off and touched first Adam, then Echo.
"I've got you, Little Sparrow," a voice said. Strong arms lifted her like a child and held her against a leather clad chest. She opened one heavy eyelid and squeezed out a smile.
"Twice you've carried me from danger," Echo managed to say. She leaned her head against Georgios and closed her eyes."
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Thank you for your review and for pointing out the parts you liked.
Take care,
Rhonda
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***My pleasure***
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda....and that Hades fellow, I know he's a villain, but I sort of am rooting for him too prevail inn this battle of good and evil. Such is his hypnotic power that it affects the reader also!
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda....and that Hades fellow, I know he's a villain, but I sort of am rooting for him too prevail inn this battle of good and evil. Such is his hypnotic power that it affects the reader also!
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Mike! You may be the only one who has caught onto where I'm going with Hades. There is a kind element to him, though he shows it rarely. It will be plied later when it's needed most. AKA, his Achilles' Heel.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from nomi338
My admiration of this epic masterpiece has grown immensely since I started reading it. I am convinced more than ever that this would definitely work as an animated series. I think it would be better in animation than live action, but either should work.
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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My admiration of this epic masterpiece has grown immensely since I started reading it. I am convinced more than ever that this would definitely work as an animated series. I think it would be better in animation than live action, but either should work.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Nolan, once again, you've given me reason to smile!! I would be excited to have this as animation. That's an excellent idea!! Thank you for the review and support, my friend,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, so she ended up kissing him after all. But still, she appears to have an escape route.
I'm just back from Denmark, visiting my family there. It was great to seeing my three young granddaughters. I'm catching up and hope to post on Sunday. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Rhonda, so she ended up kissing him after all. But still, she appears to have an escape route.
I'm just back from Denmark, visiting my family there. It was great to seeing my three young granddaughters. I'm catching up and hope to post on Sunday. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Ulla, hi!!!! Good to see you back, and I'm glad you were able to see the grandkids.
Thank you for the six stars!! I can't wait until Sunday for you new chapter!!
Yeah, Echo got more than she wanted, but, I suspect, so will Hades, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, no! Maybe this is not as bad as I feared but at present it has me wondering. Although Echo is immortal now, I'm relieved she is not married to Hades or desires to be. The "you'll come when I call" comment has me concerned. I'm a Chronicles of Narnia fan too, so I'm hoping for some "Deep Magic" a magic that is deeper and stronger than the power of evil.
Superb chapter once again, my friend! Flawlessly written and beautifully presented and illustrated. Brava!
Sending you my best today as always, and love and blessings across the bridge.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Oh, no! Maybe this is not as bad as I feared but at present it has me wondering. Although Echo is immortal now, I'm relieved she is not married to Hades or desires to be. The "you'll come when I call" comment has me concerned. I'm a Chronicles of Narnia fan too, so I'm hoping for some "Deep Magic" a magic that is deeper and stronger than the power of evil.
Superb chapter once again, my friend! Flawlessly written and beautifully presented and illustrated. Brava!
Sending you my best today as always, and love and blessings across the bridge.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Dearest Sally,
Thank you so much for the 6 stars!! They lit up my morning!!
And, how perceptive you are!! There is a power stronger than evil, and you deal with that in your books, too, but there's another factor at play here as well. Won't tell you, though, not yet anyway.
Thanks so much, again, for your love and support,
Blessing back across that bridge, as well as prayers and love,
Rhonda
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You're so welcome! My sinceru pleasure as always, my friend. Two back-to-back thrilling chapters have made my week. You're spoiled me! Love, love it! Staying on all summer long!
Love,
Sal Xoxo!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh Rhonda! What a fabulous chapter! I knew he'd kiss her, even though she fought agains it. Sunny bravely clawed Hades face and bit his evil leg, and Adam tried to hard to stop Hades from kissing Echo. But that didn't happen, he kissed her!!!! Goodness knows what will happen now, and if Hades calls Echo, will she really have no way to stop herself obeying?
What a terrible way to send me off on my holiday, Rhonda! Now I have to wait ages to find out what happens next. Well done, my friend, this was just an amazing chapter! See you in three weeks when I can come and bing read!! Lol. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Oh Rhonda! What a fabulous chapter! I knew he'd kiss her, even though she fought agains it. Sunny bravely clawed Hades face and bit his evil leg, and Adam tried to hard to stop Hades from kissing Echo. But that didn't happen, he kissed her!!!! Goodness knows what will happen now, and if Hades calls Echo, will she really have no way to stop herself obeying?
What a terrible way to send me off on my holiday, Rhonda! Now I have to wait ages to find out what happens next. Well done, my friend, this was just an amazing chapter! See you in three weeks when I can come and bing read!! Lol. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Sandra,
Thank you for reviewing two days in a row. I wanted to get this chapter out before you left! I hope you have fun, and do some healing. We could all use a dose of that!!
There will come a showdown with the whole, do what I say do, before long. There are many factors in play.
Oh, and speaking of leaving a person hanging... I tend to remember something about two boys and a monster...
Have fun,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! I hope whatever power that kiss from Hades is, can be undone. I'm glad that you had Sunny become the hero in this chapter. Cats need to have some heroic examples as there are plenty of literary dog heroes. Good dialogue throughout with some good comebacks from Echo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Oh no! I hope whatever power that kiss from Hades is, can be undone. I'm glad that you had Sunny become the hero in this chapter. Cats need to have some heroic examples as there are plenty of literary dog heroes. Good dialogue throughout with some good comebacks from Echo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Hi Helen!
Thank you for review as I cherish your thoughts. I like cat hero's too, obviously, lol. I have one in another book I published on here called, The Daredevil Girls". At home I only have one cat, but three dogs, but there is something about the way a cat thinks and behaves that make them different. They are independent thinkers!
Echo is in the best hands possible with Georgios. He's a bit of a sleeper character, but will show his skills coming up.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
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I do like your Georgios character and I guessed it was his voice right away!
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Oh cool!!! He's actually a new character with a lot of hidden talents. Good for you for remembering him.
Take care,
Rhonda